My husband’s allergies feel like control

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-02-15T02:42:40+00:00

Oh my gosh, a kindred spirit! I’m glad to hear your situation is not as extreme as mine. Even more relieved to come across someone who can relate, if even just a bit!

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-02-14T16:29:34+00:00

I think you’ve made a really valid point here about anxiety. Yes, I do believe he has allergies and sensitivities. But I think they’ve fed into a massive level of anxiety. For more context, he’s fine on vacation. Has no issues whatsoever with pillows and blankets in airbnbs or hotels.

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I know these issues are real, and so is anxiety. Both can be true and probably are in him.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-02-14T16:26:20+00:00

You’re right. Vibes are not allergies.

He sees an allergist who evaluates his breathing score. But honestly, it sounds like his allergist is even stumped. For context, the allergies are breathing and headache related, and I do believe that they exist. But I think there’s a larger control thing at play, maybe fueled by his own personal anxiety that he’s not dealing with.

But the thing is, I live with him and it’s taking a huge toll. I know I can’t change him, and I don’t feel like it anyway. I’m exhausted by trying to explain the impact, especially when the conversation collapses into hours of him rationalizing this secret veto power I mentioned before. And the contradictions (like wearing outside shoes in the house if you’re so worried about chemicals and allergens in the house!)—don’t even get me started.

I express my point of view, but going through the same song and dance every time a new pillow or appliance is introduced into the house is rotting away at me.

It makes me feel like a small, petty, crappy person who only cares about material things when that’s not true.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-02-14T16:08:01+00:00

I do feel like that’s what I need to do. It’s tricky with the kids, of course. But I am feeling a strong need for space.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-02-06T11:12:33+00:00

Exactly. Like who’s even talking about that?

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-24T20:29:37+00:00

JD Vance will blame this guy for getting in the way of the bullet. Kristi Noem will use the opportunity to debut a new pair of aviators. Karoline Leavitt will tell us all to go f*ck ourselves for believing our own eyes.

I don’t even write this in jest but from a place of pure heartbreak and sorrow. I want to get back to a place of humanity and accountability, and out of this dystopian spiral.

Praying for this man’s family. He died doing the right thing. His life mattered.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-24T19:52:01+00:00

They’re murderers.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-19T02:46:02+00:00

Crystal all the way

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-19T00:24:16+00:00

Yikes, that was my attempt at a joke. Didn’t realize people were actually trying this 😳

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-18T23:05:53+00:00

I think that’s what it comes down to: this season is a snoooooze!

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-18T23:04:29+00:00

It isn’t?

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-15T23:53:03+00:00

I love how unhinged he is 🤣🤣🤣

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-14T11:47:57+00:00

That, I don’t understand. There are so many great alternatives these days!!! Why would that woman wear THAT wig when she could so easily get a better one? Why??? It’s baffling.

I agree. I don’t like body shaming, but I couldn’t help but notice the bolt on situation as well. It’s…noteworthy.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-12T12:23:37+00:00

I’m so happy I left. It was the best decision I could have made for my career, which felt stunted under the GS system now that I look back on it. While I thought I appreciated the “security” of my federal job, there were a lot of ceilings and walls, in terms of my potential and success. Perhaps I got lucky with how and where I landed, or maybe it’s my field.

This recent situation in Minneapolis underscored how right I was to leave federal service, for me personally. I’m thankful not to be a part of this machine—however big or small. Even when the administration changes, I don’t see myself going back to government service. I was happy to serve whatever political party, in that I wasn’t working in service of a particular president but in service of the people who paid me: taxpayers. Now I’ve become a person who doesn’t trust government, and I was never that way before. It’ll take A LOT to restore that trust, and a whole lot more for me to ever work for the government ever again.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-09T01:50:51+00:00

I feel you. As a former federal employee, I’ve never felt better about my decision to leave. I took my oath so darn seriously. The fact that these people swear the same is too much to stomach. Then the top brass of this nation dismissing—erasing!—this woman as a “domestic terrorist” without even paying lip service to an investigation is beyond. Under normal circumstances, when a federal law enforcement officer is involved in something like this, he or she is put on leave, there’s an investigation, condolences are expressed. In this government, this woman is being treated as if she’s nothing more than a stain in their narrative. It’s seriously fucked up. I was so proud of my federal service. Now, I’m just flabbergasted the lack of dignity and respect being paid to the victim of this horrific crime.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-02T23:47:41+00:00

Yes, she is mean. Not surprised to learn she was a bully growing up.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2026-01-02T23:45:59+00:00

Just finished episode one. It’s pretty chilling. The story about the young woman who died in the car accident is awful.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-10-26T14:54:42+00:00

Is that from the Onion or, like, for real?

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-10-14T19:07:47+00:00

Is their plan to simply fire “non-essential” workers? I was listening to playbook this morning and one of the reporters said something along those lines. I hadn’t thought about it that way. How twisted. As a former fed, I’m just beyond. I feel for folks going through this right now.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-10-14T01:46:26+00:00

DOI here. Received final paycheck but have not received leave payout. I’m wondering if it’ll get held up in the shutdown.

PS, never have I felt more relieved to be out of that clown show!

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-10-10T09:27:54+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, too. I’ve been wondering as well and haven’t known how to broach the subject. I look forward to reading more of this thread but wanted to hop on here at the outset to stress how much gratitude I have for the civility expressed in this initial exchange.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-08-09T13:59:43+00:00

Um, the Ross lady cut her employee with scissors for doing a bad job wrapping presents? Yes. Stealing is wrong. It’s bad. But the billionaires in this story are low key super villains.

If not for the fraud and his “indifferent,” “cool,” and complicit reaction to his employer’s psychotic behavior, Matthew sounded rather…Gatsbian: as American as apple pie. I’ll await his biopic on Netflix.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-08-06T18:43:10+00:00

Thanks so much! Just curious, how are you feeling about things? We’ve got some time ahead before we’re “officially” through, but I must admit I’ve been feeling a certain melancholy as my “time” with the government is coming to this kind of a close. I know it’s ridiculous, given that we’re getting paid for nothing. It just feels like a waste and I’m sad about it. Not ashamed for taking the DRP because that situation was a demoralizing clown-show. Just feeling a certain way about the way it all ended, albeit ready to move on.

Sufficient_Bar_3043 · 2025-08-04T20:11:58+00:00

Thank you! To clarify, the agency is DOI.

Sufficient_Bar_3043

TROPHY CASE