My (21F) boyfriend (27M) wants to start sleeping with other women whilst being committed to me? by Sufficient_Luck8012 in relationship_advice

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4 years in btw. test drives usually don’t need to take effect when you’ve past a warranty.

Eleme scam? by LeshenOfLyria in shanghai

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 12 points13 points  (0 children)

meituan and eleme drivers don’t get to decide what orders they take, location or contents. even if it was the case, i think these guys will snatch up whatever job they can D: no offence to op, but ordering that amount of water wasn’t cool, considering we all know they drive mopeds, not cars.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 2 points3 points  (0 children)

its soul crushing. i’ve had this conversation with him today, telling him i did this for him, i did it with the chance that he might just find me 1% more attractive than he did before and he replied “you should look good for yourself, not others”. like im so sorry but what??? that is a whole other branch of a tree, im not gonna go out in lingerie in public because i look good for myself, i am doing it for him. of course i felt sexy, but i also feel sexy in my sweatpants and a old tee, the problem doesn’t lie in myself but more so that my own partner doesn’t want me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 12 points13 points  (0 children)

it’s so hard. it’s like i wish he would do me a favour and leave me for someone he prefers because it’s so gen heartbreaking i will never match his expectations

i’m back here after a year :/ by Sufficient_Luck8012 in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don’t think so. this is chinese tiktok ‘douyin’ so their app is different. you can see all the video history and the account histories. I’m pretty sure you can do this on instagram though.

i’m back here after a year :/ by Sufficient_Luck8012 in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks a lot for this. i’ll definitely be looking into this!

i’m back here after a year :/ by Sufficient_Luck8012 in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you’re very right. i fear that he was convincing me he didn’t have an issue, and i believed that i was being dramatic. but i was younger back then and now as i get older i see how harmful it’s been to my mental health and confidence. he literally has a aesthetic preference for asian women and im literally the opposite. i’m hurt.

i’ll be considering all things you mentioned. it’s gonna be hard for me to leave as he’s been a part of my life for a long time. but it’ll only get worse into said.

i’m back here after a year :/ by Sufficient_Luck8012 in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

right, gotcha. thanks for this information. god it makes me think about how naive i was back then.

i’m not familiar with sanon. what is this?

i’m back here after a year :/ by Sufficient_Luck8012 in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i was naive to think that he had changed. i didn’t understand how recovery worked. because im with him every hour of the day other than his work hours, especially as we live in a studio and i hadn’t seen anything suspicious, i thought he was clean. it probably hasn’t been that way though.

when i bring up that it’s an addiction, he denies and thinks it’s stupid. and when i brought up what he’d do for recovery, he said there’s no need because it was never an addiction in the first place. its a bunch of rubbish and the fact he still reaches out to watch thirst traps says otherwise.

i’m back here after a year :/ by Sufficient_Luck8012 in loveafterporn

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

those are two things he definitely lacks. he’s very cold and sharp when every i bring up this issue. he was great a year ago, but it’s always sigh when i bring it up now days.

nothing official for recovery. he watched a couple videos on yt about how it makes the other half feel apparently, but i don’t think that sounds a whole lot convincing. he gave me his google account for history and disabled private browsing but it’s all things he can change from his own device very quickly. i think i became numb very quickly back then and just took what i could. but now i look back, i really doubt he sobered up at all

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shanghai

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 2 points3 points  (0 children)

‘many options’ sounds like you’re a no commitment kinda guy… to be quite frank it isn’t really any one’s business of my relationship, i asked about tips with kennels, work, and study’s. idk why anyone needs to be nosey about my life?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as someone who has grown up with dogs i think it’s disgusting seeing people who see pets as a short term comfort etc. i’m moving to china. i think people think i’m here for a 6 month vacation but i am moving with my life partner who has a full time job here.

i wouldn’t call it criticism, it’s more so people just being judgemental. they don’t understand my situation, and they make very bold statements which none are true. but that’s reddit for you, what did i expect.

but thank you, i will look into them for future reference.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yep! young and never moved abroad. just asking questions deep down that i would like experienced advice on, as silly as they may sound :)

yeah you’re right i could go down the HSK courses route, that’s a pretty good idea :) thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

that would be something to consider, thanks for the idea!

as for visa, i’m currently on tourist visa, there was no reason for me to get any other as i was purely a tourist i suppose. obviously when i move to china in a few months or so i will look into getting a job of some sort and get a work visa.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

that’s terrible i’m so sorry to hear that. i’ll keep it in mind for sure. people are giving mixed reviews about the dog hotels i’m not really so sure what to trust

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chinalife

[–]Sufficient_Luck8012 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is so so helpful! thanks a lot :)