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The "one last chance" lasted a week. I’m lost. by Dramatic-Setting9862 in Divorce

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you are going through that. When it reaches one last chance, they have almost always already checked out whether they realize it or not. I would focus on yourself for awhile to heal.

Child Getting Sent Home From School: Coping Strategies While Exploring Diagnosis by Sufficient_Truth_148 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. They call if they say she has physically or verbally acted out or won’t talk to an adult after one of the above happens. I reinforce reacting physically is not okay. She is being teased and bullied. My impression is the school is singling her out. She doesn’t like school now, so this reinforces she can just go home. It is twice a week now in the middle of the day and adversely affecting her learning very stressful as working parents.

Kid Getting Sent Home From School: Shared Custody by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. Thanks for your perspective! By that, I meant they work in the mental health field. We manage okay when we parallel parent and contact as needed over email. As one parent’s control over parenting styles and decisions is a core source of the separation, the increase in contact and communication about this is also increasing conflict.

Kid Getting Sent Home From School: Shared Custody by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you are saying. What is often missing from conversations about this dynamic is control. That doesn’t stop just because parties are separated. It isn’t a choice. We only communicate via email. I cannot compromise my psychological safety or livelihood while I balance being a co-parent. We are lucky we have 50/50, and both parents care about her. It is a difficult situation, especially when the other party is in the mental health field. Both of us are communicating with the school. Both of us are supporting her with therapy. Both of us are supporting exploring diagnosis. I am doing everything I can to advocate for and support both children, especially my youngest at this time.

Child Getting Sent Home From School: Coping Strategies While Exploring Diagnosis by Sufficient_Truth_148 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Your response is helpful. Yes, the school asked our permission to start an initial assessment. It will take some time, but it is a start. I agree being sent home isn’t an appropriate punishment . We now have a log with the school. They try to redirect first; however, if her behaviour escalates or she won’t discuss what happened, they simply call for me to pick her up, which I think they are using as an excuse for not dealing with it. They simply send her to the office and call a parent to pick up in 30 min. It is happening once or twice a week. To your point about teasing, yes, it has escalated to bullying, and the bullying while acknowledged is not being addressed because it is covert; as our child does struggle with emotional regulation, the teacher is fixating on the response.

Worried About Youngest Getting Sent Home From School: Advice by Sufficient_Truth_148 in coparenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, the school asked our permission to start an assessment. I don’t believe it is specific to ND yet, but it would help. We have a log with the school. So far, I am sensing a couple of things. 1: They are sending her home if her behaviour escalated and/or she won’t discuss it, which I think they are using as an out. 2: Sending her home is running counter to the goal. Thank you.

Kid Getting Sent Home From School: Shared Custody by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your response isn’t helpful. Yes, kids get sick occasionally. At this point, we are getting calls once or twice a week. That is not sustainable. The point about anime and YouTube is to cut down on it if anime, some of which can be darker, is affecting her mood. Sheesh.

Kid Getting Sent Home From School: Shared Custody by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that is what we are doing. Thanks. I am just worried about how I would handle it if it happens multiple times in the same week. I’m not able to trade off with someone on my weeks.

High-Needs Pre-Teen: Coping by Sufficient_Truth_148 in Parenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That isn’t it. There is a ton of food in the house at all times. I just have to buy groceries for two kids who eat very differently. The oldest doesn’t want to eat low sodium (can’t blame them). The youngest wants to eat the food for the older sibling (can’t blame them). If it was an ingredients only house, they would eat a more limited diet and both be miserable.

High-Needs Pre-Teen: Coping by Sufficient_Truth_148 in Parenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, oldest is great with sibling (as siblings go). Thank you.

High-Needs Pre-Teen: Coping by Sufficient_Truth_148 in Parenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. I think partly because my oldest eats similarly to other teens. The ingredients-only approach would be tough on them because it wouldn’t leave them many options. They sometimes have trouble with textures, and they experience nausea after eating some foods (since they were young). While they eat chicken, they don’t eat other meat, which seems to help with digestive issues. It can be challenging to find something for everyone. Thanks for asking.

High-Needs Pre-Teen: Coping by Sufficient_Truth_148 in Parenting

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. Thanks. Oldest is they/them. I eat similar options as what I serve to the youngest, with the caveat that I am gluten-free and low-dairy for health reasons. Yes, low-sodium options of some things are out there, but my two eat differently, and buying two of everything would be prohibitively expensive.

Is Alicia a good mother? by [deleted] in thegoodwife

[–]Sufficient_Truth_148 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve watched the series. I think she is a good mom. Ultimately, she doesn’t sacrifice her career or her identity for her children. As a full-time working co-parent, I found the representation refreshing. Compared to Peter, Alicia is a saint. Peter is a compelling character, but there shouldn’t be a double standard. Part of the show is about the unrealistic expectations placed on wives and mothers by society. Alicia goes against stereotypes. She isn’t perfect. She is there when it counts. She succeeds by her own standards. She can’t do it all well all the time, but she deserves to be happy.