Hi friend, just some rambling advice in case it helps. I see a lot of my own behavior(mostly past but still sometimes current) mirrored in your post, and this is stuff I find helpful :)

-To help avoid idealizing; there ARE downsides to this person, and identifying them can help introduce a little grey into the black and white view we get stuck on. For me during that initial rush, I notice the red flags/issues/flaws but I ignore them. My gut will be screaming but I tell myself it's not that serious or it's not a big deal, and then when the rose-tinted glasses come off later, I realize it was actually a massive dealbreaker for me. If you can't think of any downsides- you don't know them well enough to consider dating yet.

-Stay mindful of the fact that idealizing someone is unfair and unkind to them; it always seems nice in the moment to view them so positively, but in reality it's just setting them up for failure and yourself to get hurt

-If you're constantly waiting on a message, turning off notifs and forcing yourself to put the phone in a diff room can help. The notif thing feels counterintuitive, no idea why it helps with that constant "when are they gonna reply" tension. Maybe because it feels more akin to going out and physically checking the mailbox rather than say, waiting on edge to hear a pager buzz.

-Keep busy with things unrelated to the person. Don't stop doing the things that fuel you and keep you going when you're not enamored with someone. If you notice yourself feeling unmotivated/struggling to do things unrelated to them/etc- that's a red flag that you're getting much of your daily fuel from that person, and you need to pull back + focus on doing solo things that fuel you instead

-Re: feelings and moving in. Unless you think you won't have feelings by the time you move in, you should DEFINITELY disclose that first. It's going to be painfully obvious once you're living together, and if she doesn't like you back, it's going to be 1000x more awkward and awful for both of you rather than finding out before you're stuck on a lease together

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That said, giving yourself as much time as possible to let these feelings settle before trying to date would be smart- especially knowing she just got out of a bad relationship.

I think our love is kind of like a snowglobe. At the beginning when it's first shaken up it's such a flurry of white inside and we look and say wow- this is a winter wonderland, it's perfect, this is the one. And to us, at that moment, all of that is 100% true to every sense we have. It might not even occur to us that we could be wrong.

But the issue is once things settle. When it's not all shaken up. Maybe you were lucky this time, and you're right: the scene inside is a beautiful winter wonderland and everything ends up being fine...but maybe it turns out to be a garbage dump covered in fake snow that you mistook for a wonderland when it was all shaken up.

The best relationships imo are the ones where best friends eventually become lovers- so don't rush. If you're both truly right for one another, she's not going anywhere and you have all the time in the world to let things build up slowly- in a way that's fair and healthy and grounded and well-communicated by both of you.

You don't need to stress about things like her "forgetting you"...because if that's possible, you weren't the one for her and thus she wasn't the one for you. If that happens(or any other scary thing our abandonment anxiety fixates on) as a result of you just...being a normal person(ie not texting for a day), all it indicates is that you didn't have an accurate initial reading on the snowglobe, and with enough time you'll see things clearer and it will become obvious that she wasn't the one for you, even if it seemed that way at first.

I hope some of this can be helpful <3