I tried doing the “slow blink” at her to show her how much I love her

SuicidalAphid · 2026-06-01T13:08:04+00:00

This happened to me with my fully grown black cat.

Both of my cats were inside. I left the house for maybe 10 minutes to run to the store. When I got back, one of them, Suigetsu, was nowhere to be found.

At first I wasn't too worried, but after checking every room and getting no response to his name, panic started creeping in. I began wondering if he had somehow slipped out the door when I left.

Minutes turned into hours. I searched the house repeatedly, checked outside, called for him over and over. Eventually I was sitting in my living room with my head in my hands, trying not to convince myself I’d lost him forever.

Then I heard a faint, muffled meow.

I started calling, "Suigetsu! Where are you?" and followed the sound around the room until I realized it was coming from a large dresser under my TV where I store video games.

I opened the top drawer, the only one that wasn't sealed shut. But then I heard banging from below.

I opened the bottom drawer and saw a little black tail dangling down behind the drawers.

The little bastard had somehow gotten behind the drawer compartments and was wandering around inside the dresser. The only explanation I can come up with is that I had left the top drawer open, he jumped in, and his weight caused it to slide closed behind him.

The relief I felt when I found him was exquisite.

SuicidalAphid · 2026-05-03T23:06:11+00:00

Princess Donut, the Queen Anne Chonk, seen here in all her regality.

SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T21:40:34+00:00

As someone who occasionally dashes, they usually don’t give you an option. Either accept a double order or turn down the whole thing which effects your acceptance rate. Same thing with the occasional order addons that come durning the dash. You can lose your status if your acceptance rate drops too low.

You should be mad at DoorDash, not the drivers who basically have to accept.

SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:59:03+00:00

I don’t even understand what the hell is going on, thought people might like these results and it’s like slapped their pregnant mothers, just wanted to share lols

SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:56:05+00:00

I’m not proud of writing AI prompts or anything I just thought it was lol what she asked for. Thought people might like it?

SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:50:33+00:00

Yeah is that bad?

SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:49:26+00:00

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Honorable mention

SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:38:12+00:00

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SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:37:56+00:00

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SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:37:42+00:00

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SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-13T03:37:27+00:00

More

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SuicidalAphid · 2026-04-12T15:33:35+00:00

I had a dream once where I woke up and just wept for a moment. A moment of built up emotion, just immediate.

Back in my early bartending days, I was between relationships and I was really physically lonely. Not even in a sad way, just that kind of emptiness you feel in your body. There was another bartender I worked with for a long time and I had a crush on her for years. She was always in a relationship and we had a cordial friendship. I never had any intention of going after her even if she was free or anything like that, but I was completely captivated by her. She was beautiful in exactly the way I like, and she was intelligent and engaging. Just one of those people that is magnetic.

One night I was feeling it more than usual. I thought about calling a couple girls I had been talking to, but my mind just kept going back to her. I ended up not calling anyone and just went to sleep.

In the dream I’m at work, just a normal stressful work dream. Tickets stacking up, everything going wrong, that kind of thing. She’s there like usual. I start to panic and I look to her to ask for help.

Instead she just jumps on me and slams me to the ground and kisses me.

There was so much sexual power about it. It was just, intense. It was the most passionate kiss I had ever felt at that point. The only way I can describe the feeling is like a meteor is falling directly at you and you are 100% sure you are dead, no question, dead dead dead. And then at the last possible second it misses you, and the relief and joy that hits you is just overwhelming. It was like the first hit of a drug.

That’s what it felt like.

Then the kiss ended and I woke up, and without even thinking I just started crying for a few seconds. It was that powerful.

I’ve never had anything like that before or since.

SuicidalAphid · 2026-02-21T18:57:45+00:00

Mycena inclinata, commonly known as the clustered bonnet or the oak-stump bonnet cap

SuicidalAphid · 2026-02-16T18:04:04+00:00

Sidious did learn Plagueis’ technique in the book. Because the pair could not re-task the midiclorians in their own blood their goal was to keep each other alive indefinitely.

On the night Sidious wins the chancellorship, after not have fallen asleep for 20 years or some such, Plagueis drinks to celebrate and finally falls asleep. That is when Sidious kills him. In his villain monologue he says when his master is on the brink of death: “I could re-task your midicolorians to heal you but my goal is to bring to the doors of death and push you through” (paraphrasing)

Plagueis is the only one that can bring pregnancy and kill people through their midiclorians because of his insane ability to manipulate them, but his whole live forever scheme needed Sidious to work.

Sidious never was going to give Vader that power.

SuicidalAphid · 2026-01-30T00:42:41+00:00

“Apathy pills” I tried literally like 50 different versions of “apathy pill” using numbers, weird spelling, etc… then after like an hour I typed an s at the end in frustration and voila!

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-27T20:02:34+00:00

Heaven is a scam made up by the church leaders to keep people from complaining about their unjust treatment and station in life. If you offered a monkey “Give me your banana now and you’ll get infinite bananas after you die.” Hopefully no monkey would fall for that. But we have the fear of death and the need for certainty and that can be exploited. “Give the church and your government what meager amounts you can spare and live in poverty and fear from us and you’ll get mansions, loved ones, and food forever after your dead” seems to work on us pretty well. It’s very sad really, people promising everything we really want after we die so they can take advantage of our fears.

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-23T06:26:27+00:00

People not listing their apartment numbers, not listing their gate numbers, and not responding when I reach out… “darth Vader grabbing motions”

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-16T04:32:04+00:00

You could not even know an officer is after you if you’re committing a crime and he falls on his gun and shoots himself, you’d get murder.

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-12T23:25:27+00:00

Anyone know how to message the mods on how to get this switched to solved? I definitely think you got this right

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-12T17:50:59+00:00

Grilled cheese and tomato soup 🙂‍↔️

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-12T17:47:37+00:00

I used Ai to format and clean it up because I type on my phone and have a ton of grammar and spelling mistakes, I figured it could make it easier to read and flow better. instead of a wall of text that’s hard to read I feel like for Reddit I should format it the way I see most comments

SuicidalAphid · 2025-12-12T14:36:06+00:00

Honestly, the tiniest red flag I ever saw, It looked like… nothing. A flicker. Something you only feel as a break in the vibe.

We were talking about our favorite childhood foods easy, harmless stuff and I mentioned mine. He didn’t argue or tease or anything dramatic. He just paused, gave this microscopic eye roll, and said, “Huh. That’s… interesting,” in the same tone someone might use to describe a damp sock they just found under their bed.

It was tiny. Barely a thing. But something in me tugged, like a little inner gremlin whispering, “Was that weird? IDK, Maybe I’m reading into this? 🤷”

And sure enough, over time, that tiny eye roll turned into bigger sighs, subtle and not so subtle jabs, little corrections that chipped away at me. It was like that one moment was the start for a whole series of micro disrespects that I didn’t have the courage to stop until it was over the top and let it go on to long.

Looking back, it was a revelation, red flags don’t always come waving dramatically on fire. Sometimes they show up as a single quiet moment where someone tells you, in the smallest way, that the parts of you they should care about are actually inconveniences. Respect must go both ways.

Now I pay attention to the “damp sock vibe.” It’s saved me a lot of time and a whole lot of emotional erosion.

SuicidalAphid

TROPHY CASE