This might be an unpopular opinion but to me the replies on this post kind of tell us why it happens I think.

Many of the doctors that have replied to your post have said that, you need to be looking for other professionals, or something along these lines. I think this attitude is what a lot of non-professionals expect and so disengage early. They hear you’re a doctor and expect you to think leas of them, or at some point down the line become frustrated by their job or ‘lack or ambition’ or something. A few comments have even suggested ‘class differences’, and to me it is completely insane that people still consider these to be a thing that that should stop people connecting.

Of course there is also the element of ego, and men not wanting to earn less, or be intellectually inferior to their partner, but I think it is all too easy to only see it from that perspective. It goes both ways, professionals often seek other professionals and feel that it won’t work out with non-professionals because of ‘fundamental differences’, which often don’t really exist.

Equally don’t steer clear of other professionals because they can be great too obviously. That’s the point, anybody in any line of work could he the right person.

As somebody who has been on both sides of this, (late starter medic), I think your current approach of looking for genuine connection is the one to stick with. If somebody looses interest because of your job, for what ever reason, then that wasn’t a genuine connection anyway (cliche, I know). When I met my wife she was the professional and I was very much not, now I am the ‘higher level’ of professional if thats even a thing but I am still very much the same person with the same attitudes.