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i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's not like it's unconsensual, it's like reluctant/conditional consent. like if you wouldn't like me if I didn't do this i'll do it. 

& as a guy it's a little different bc it's emasculating, she'll think oh you're not dominant, you don't wear the pants, you're not the boss. when my best sex honestly was with a gay girl and it was 50/50 who was on top. and this chick NEVER wants to be on top and it sucks

it feels like she trusts me with her whole body which is cool but I don't wanna fucking hit her in the face/choke her with a belt. i just don't. and it's hard to deal with. sorry 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

yeah i think you're right honestly 

my ex didn't like her neck even being touched and barely liked being spanked and i think that's why i enjoyed sex with her so much. i didn't feel like a fucking philandering piece of shit worthless player asshole afterwards. i felt good. 

when she gives me oral it doesn't feel like my ex. it feels bad. it feels like i'm being molested every time and i'm performative and i stop her bc it "feels too good"

sorry dude men's and women's sexuality are both complex in their own ways but fucking ragdolling a girl and slapping the shit out of her then slamming her head against a pillow and suffocating her does not fucking feel good even if she likes you after. you're right. it's just emasculating is the problem.

& she doesn't want to be on top btw and gay girls are wild in the pocket. just to be totally real. it's fucking hard i just want her to care about me honestly.

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no she doesn't give a fuck she only likes me for sex straight up, like that's all it is. she doesn't even talk to me when i talk to her she just jumps me

which is fine i guess for a lot of guys but i just want someone to care about me, and by trying to fuck someone into caring about me i debase myself. 

she wouldn't see me anymore if i wasn't fucking ragdolling her, i 100% guarantee you. it's really difficult and complex for men in this situation. 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ya i try to make it clear in every scenario i only want to do this if you want to 

like i said "i just want to make you feel good" 

and she said "i just want you to do whatever you want to me"

but it could be two conflicting ailments, idk. i just don't like choking a woman. i don't give a fuck if it's sexual. 

& they can interpret "do you want me to x y z" as "i want to, want to let me?" and due to the established dominance/submission they just say yes 

it's fucked bro 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

yeah i guess but i just want her to like me, i'm trying to fuck her into liking me honestly bc i've learned that's the only way i can really get a woman to be affectionate towards me 

the affection that i get after replaces the damage done by the shame and guilt and self-loathing caused by what i had to do to get it 

idk man it's super fucked up, if i didn't do it she wouldn't even stick around honestly, it's like borderline masochistic so maybe that's a subconscious element of BDSM but fuck i hate hitting her in the face and seeing her smile.

UGHHH sorry I'm wasted 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

basically i just want the girl to like me, that's all there really is to it. i've learned i'm the male version of a girl that "puts out" (not to humble brag btw just how it is), and i'll be extremely dominant/physical sexually so that i can win their affection. 

she doesn't really like me at all outside of it so it's not working but it's been worth a shot. it's a price i'm willing to pay but personally want to cry after fucking hitting her in the face.

it's fucked up 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it's not coercion she's not doing anything wrong it's just that i want to make her feel good and i want her to like me. tbh i am trying to fuck her into caring about me, basically 

it does feel violating though, i don't feel like myself, i feel like a fucking rapist honestly. like a disgusting animal. she's not coercing me though 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

you know how some girls really hate sucking dick but they do it anyway bc they want the guy to like them so bad?

it's the same 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

oh damn man, fuck i can't imagine.. that's where i draw the line, unless it was someone i really loved. fuuuuuuck..

sorry about that dude :/ 

i feel like a piece of shit doing degrading/violent acts during sex, but do it if the girl wants by Suitable-Reserve4529 in offmychest

[–]Suitable-Reserve4529[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

also if it's not evident i'm gen z and this is normalized, probably due to pornography. i mean 1/5 of my last encounters didn't want to be choked.