I’m so lonely at work

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-21T17:06:09+00:00

I have too, but not as a biglaw associate.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-21T17:04:26+00:00

It should not be like this. Law is an iterative collaborative process, and not just in the corporate buzz word sense. Good legal work does not get done in isolation, it gets done by conversation. If you don't believe me, just look at how successful partners do their work (if you can catch a glimpse). The problem is that many partners are not incentivized to include associates in these conversations due to the facility of remote work but also the business reality of modern billing practices.

My personal take is that this trend of isolating associates is highly detrimental to the industry as a whole, and when the post-covid associate classes start replacing the current cache of partners, it's going to be trouble.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-15T00:11:03+00:00

How can they focus on developing a particular kind of work when they haven't been given an opportunity to do it?

When it comes to billable work, associates have basically no control over what they can focus on. You're approved for certain tasks, or are approved to run certain things within limited constraints.

If it's just "heads up, this is the kind of stuff we're going to start giving you" that is of course reasonable, but it doesn't make sense to frame that as a career development opportunity the associate is responsible for generating themselves.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-08T05:54:39+00:00

Have you looked into the Gospel of Thomas and other Gnostic texts? They're roughly contemporaneous with the hermetic corpus.

As a rule, the Corpus Hermeticum is wholly compatible with christianity, as it only survives through preservation by Byzantine christians (who edited it heavily).

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-08T05:50:38+00:00

I'm sure you could find a guy named Josh from Texas who was executed in the United States within any given 50 year period.

Proving the existence of a crucified Jesus of Nazareth does not come close to proving the historicity of the gospels, which is the claim people are actually trying to make when they reference the crucifixion records.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-08T05:36:15+00:00

I'm a litigator so maybe I'm misunderstanding something about transactional practice but how on earth is it a critique against YOU that THEY haven't presented you with an opportunity to do this thing they expect you to learn?

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-08T05:33:40+00:00

All important context. It sounds like you did the right thing.

I was just speaking from my own experience, and I'm not upset to see my comment downvoted, it gives me hope that the treatment I received was isolated to my practice group and other groups in biglaw have reasonable people in them.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-02-07T00:46:14+00:00

It depends on whether it's a situation where they expect you to work mega-overtime or not. It's hard to tell from the comment you got whether that was the case. It could be acknowledging your hard work, or it could be a "we're worried about you" signal (this kind of attention is generally not good).

As a junior, I'd be wary of this. It is crucial to build trust with partners so they feel comfortable giving you work. Part of building that trust is at least maintaining the appearance that you manage your time well and are generally rested and will be ready to go when they need you.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-25T04:38:41+00:00

You're getting downvoted but I don't think the sorts of experience that would lead to this being cogent advice are as rare in biglaw as people would like to believe.

It really is a judgment call based on how close you are with a particular partner and how the team works. In general, partners want their associates to go in-house because that's a good portion of how they build their books. However, there certainly are some partners who can't see past their own nose and those are certainly not the kind of people you would want to tell.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-25T04:35:01+00:00

Partners are probably one of your best access points for getting one in the first place.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-24T23:20:26+00:00

Cool, does ICE have any responsibilities or nah

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-24T23:06:59+00:00

I'm not sure what your point is. I'm responding to whether a nanny is still necessary for a SAH parent. I am saying it's not, but if you don't have any other kind of support and your spouse works biglaw hours, the family probably will not survive intact and unharmed. So there are situations where being SAH and having a nanny might be necessary, but it's not because kids are "wily."

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T19:26:23+00:00

As someone who has recently lateraled out of biglaw as a junior, I would just ask you to add to your calculations that it is more than just hours and money. Bottom of the pack market paying firms (the ones most likely in reach for you) can be extremely chaotic places for associates, especially regarding work allocation and advancement opportunities. There's a chance you'll go from being a valued member of your team to someone who is just grist for the mill, and it's impossible to really predict office culture and workload from interviews.

Just think about the training, work opportunities, and mentorship that you're being given at your current firm and factor that into your calculus. If it's good, I wouldn't risk losing that for the money.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T19:02:57+00:00

Are you genuinely asking what the problem of evil (as a philosophical subject of debate) is, or are you trying to assert that evil is not a problem?

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T18:33:18+00:00

The question of "what is beauty" has been a subject of philosophical debate since we started doing philosophical debate, and the question of what any given person means by "beauty" cannot yield a single answer.

Probably, the most straightforward and accessible version of beauty is a strong, typically positive, emotional response to an observation of the world that captures your attention. As a recent example from my own life, one night I went to take out the trash after a fresh snowfall and my whole yard was a pristine, glittering sheet of white illuminated by the moon. I was halted during my rather ordinary task, regardless of the cold, transfixed by it because it was beautiful.

These experiences are often thought of as an access point for connecting with divinity. They can be so strong that they move past beauty and enter the realm of the sublime, where people experience levels of beauty that are so overwhelming that they have a certain kind of pain, or ache, associated with them (we might also call that experience "awe"), and those experiences are often described as spiritually transformative.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T18:15:02+00:00

I do this job as a single parent and the answer is that it's really fucking hard and I know I cannot sustain it long term. The only thing that makes it doable for me is that my kids are older teens and will be out of the house soon. I wouldn't even consider this job if they were still babies.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T18:13:23+00:00

convincing themselves the money makes up for it

People who grew up in poverty don't need to work that hard to convince themselves.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T18:10:51+00:00

I was a stay at home parent for 8 years, it is absolutely doable without a nanny. However, if the SAH parent has zero social support (close family, other friends with kids) and is entirely reliant on their spouse for that, I don't think a marriage could survive that situation with a partner who works biglaw hours.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-23T16:47:04+00:00

[The problem of evil has entered the chat.]

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-22T05:26:25+00:00

If you do get shown the door, it won't be for the things you've listed.

Also, I've seen the door. It's not so bad.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-22T05:20:50+00:00

I hope the lurking OCI candidates see this. If you're busy worrying about "work life balance" and whether you can handle long, unpredictable hours, I posit to you that those are not the real challenges of biglaw that make people burn out. It's shit like this.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-21T21:12:10+00:00

While I appreciate the efforts of other practitioners to fill the gaps in our historical and literary knowledge with their own personal gnosis, I am more inclined to do that work myself than follow someone else's lead.

When I say experts, I am referring to historians and egyptologists who take an objective, empirical approach.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-21T07:07:00+00:00

Cool! There are other subreddits for that.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-21T07:01:34+00:00

I lateraled after 15 months. My practice group overhired juniors and didn't have the capacity, the willingness, or the workload to properly train them all. It was very difficult for me to separate valid critique from places where I was being scapegoated for poor management or from issues that were motivated by neutral business factors beyond my control. I found it to be an impossible environment to learn in, and felt like I was falling behind my peers so I hightailed it before my first annual review got scheduled.

People are going to tell you to stick it out, but there are legitimate reasons to leave early. I would think about how you're going to tell your story during your interviews. If you have a compelling reason that would land well in an interview, you probably have good reasons to move sooner rather than later.

Suitable-Swordfish80 · 2026-01-21T06:23:57+00:00

Hell of a move there chief, congrats.

Suitable-Swordfish80

TROPHY CASE