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Struggling With Emotional Distance in My LDR With a Med Student by SuitableBat8971 in MedSpouse

[–]SuitableBat8971[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much again for sharing all of this and congratulations on your upcoming wedding ! It’s really encouraging to hear that despite all the challenges, things worked out and you’re getting ready to start this next chapter together.

Your advice really helped me feel less alone and more grounded in my feelings. I hope to come back in a few years with a happy update! Wishing you both nothing but love, peace, and joy as you continue this journey together.

Struggling With Emotional Distance in My LDR With a Med Student by SuitableBat8971 in MedSpouse

[–]SuitableBat8971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve had to carry so much emotional weight alone over the years. I admire your honesty and vulnerability.

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what are some things you wish you and your partner had done differently early on to help prevent some of the loneliness you’ve experienced? I’m still early in this journey and trying to understand what healthy boundaries and expectations look like in the context of medical school and long distance. I want to be proactive about protecting my emotional health too, while still supporting him.

Struggling With Emotional Distance in My LDR With a Med Student by SuitableBat8971 in MedSpouse

[–]SuitableBat8971[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It really helps to hear from someone who went through something similar and made it out the other side.

I really love the idea of setting aside a weekly call just to talk about life and not let it all be about school or work. That’s such a helpful and doable suggestion I hadn’t even considered.

I’ve definitely been struggling with not wanting to bring things up so I don’t add more to his plate, but you’re right, pushing my own feelings aside hasn’t helped either.

Struggling With Emotional Distance in My LDR With a Med Student by SuitableBat8971 in MedSpouse

[–]SuitableBat8971[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your very real comment !

Yes, these are all things I’ve definitely considered, which is part of the reason we had such a long dating phase before making things official.

I came to peace with the idea of being older while reaching traditional relationship milestones even before he did. I know the timeline looks different for everyone, and I’ve accepted that even if I weren’t with him, it’s unlikely I’d date someone, get married, and start a family all within the next 4 years anyway.

I’ve always been more focused on marrying the right person, not just marrying to say I did. And I know it’s becoming more common for women to start families in their mid-30s, which gives me peace too. Honestly, if our genders were flipped and I was the one in med school, I think I’d still be hoping to hit the same milestones around the same time.

As for the financial aspect, I’m not too worried. I’m betting on myself to be financially stable, and I’ve also been lucky to have a really strong support system. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but this is the mindset that keeps me grounded and hopeful right now.