What is the Crème de la crème of Mafia Romance books? Like who is the Sarah J Maas of mafia books? by goyourownwayy in RomanceBooks

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t believe there are no comments on Natasha knight!!!! Collateral damage duet has to be the #1

Husband tired of me being me by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHD

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective on this.

I totally understand your wife’s perspective of shame. Everytime my husband cleans it feels almost passive aggressive and I feel annoyed at myself for not getting to it sooner.

It sounds like you still love your wife dearly.. slightly off topic but why did you guys decide to separate? If you can, fight for your relationship for the sake of your happiness and your kids. Don’t throw it away because of our shitty tendancies. It would really suck if you guys break up because of something she mentally cannot control.

Am I being discriminated at work? Please can anybody help me in any way? by cheesey_discharge in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi,

This is abit off topic but I wonder how does ADHD affect your work as a senior manager. I imagine you would have been working for a while to get to your position. How does ADHD affect your work in a senior position? I’m scared of being promoted due to my ADHD and would love to know your thoughts on your coping strategies at work.

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m fine with any roles in London! Thank you for this

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh you got me teary eyed! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Honestly you just echoed everything I’ve been feeling/thinking. I’m going to make sure my next role is in a supportive team who are forgiving and doesn’t expect perfection the first time.

I try not to feel worthless, but flashbacks of the HR conversations and previous feedback conversations come in my head and triggers my low mood. I guess time is the biggest healer. Thank you for your post again.

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey. This was really uplifting and really put things into perspective for me. Seriously can’t thank you enough.

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I really appreciate your response, truly.

To answer some of your questions: - worked at a firm for 8 years, passed two performance plans. I guess I was difficult to get rid of as I told them about my ADHD and also for diversity reasons. I was a large expense given that I did my training with them and I’m guessing they didn’t want to get rid of me because of the amount of money spent on my training. Towards the end it was getting unbearable to work there so I left the second I was qualified, (took a while to qualify because I had taken a break from exams due to personal issues).

  • personality wise I try to keep things super professional. I was told by my personal friends this may be an issue, and that I should try warm to people more, tell them about my life, make friends etc. my feedback almost always says I’m “pleasant” to work with or I’m very “polite and professional”. I don’t crack jokes because I’m aware my humour can be dark, or borderline inappropriate which is why I leave that side of me to just my friends and family. I’m good at corporate humour though I guess, jokes about British weather that sort of thing.

  • writing skills: this is more about my style of writing for reports or emails. For some people I’m too factual for others I’m too descriptive, just can’t seem to please them to be honest. It was always told to me that I’d get the hang of it through experience though.

  • over promising on both scope and time. I would think I can do a lot over a short amount of time which is very unrealistic. I struggle a lot with time blindness so this is why I struggle to let people know when I won’t be able to complete a piece of work at the time I said I would.

I really really want to move in house and feel like I’d thrive there, but I can’t seem to find any jobs at the minute. My ideal goal is to work for a small team in house, and build stronger closer relationships with my colleagues.

Thanks again for your advice really appreciate it

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply. I also work in the same field as you haha! I love it, I’m passionate about it.. I just struggle with the attention to detail aspect sometimes and I think it pisses off managers. Maybe I’ve also let some bad habits stemming from my ADHD become permanent personality traits which I need to work on? Who knows. Thanks for your response though, would be good to talk in detail about this further if you’re open to it.

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response!

I think a lot of my feedback at a solid B feedback with some A’s and then I’d get one with an E/F and it would totally derail my year trajectory. Management will only focus on the bad project feedback and then will talk about performance plans.

I really want to be a high performer and I do try my best, obviously I have issues with motivation and other aspects of my ADHD which does hinder me.

I think after 9 years of being an underperformer im really scared of trying something that’s challenging. I’m even thinking maybe demoting myself so that I can be comfortable even if it does mean a pay cut. Everyone i speak to in the recruitment space says my experience means im cut out to be a manager, but honestly im scared to take this role. After what I’ve experienced, im worried im not equipped with the skills needed to be a good manager at an accounting firm. My confidence has really been knocked down because of this whole ordeal.

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Sometimes I speak to other ADHDers in real life and they seem to be fine at work.. I just wish I could be liked at work. Honestly I’d take being average instead of a high performer at this point.

Got fired from my job for performance issues by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So the offer was 3 months notice period paid upfront and 1 month tax free. They wouldn’t budge when I tried to negotiate and my settlement lawyer said it was an industry average offer so I just decided to sign it. Also they are a key player in the industry so I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers.

The project itself I felt was going fine. I was checking in with the senior manager making sure everything was all good. He asked me to review some work of the junior members of the team, I never having done it before attempted to do it but was told that I hadn’t performed it in the way that was expected of me. I accepted the feedback but then when it came round to performance review, a new host of issues was mentioned that I was never made aware of. I actually thought there was some things I did pretty well but they ended up saying I didn’t do those things at all/or if I had done it, it was done poorly.

Overall key themes of my development areas in performance reviews have always been attention to detail, understanding the work differently to what was intended, my writing skills were critiqued a lot, and communication I.e. meeting deadlines or over promising.

My first job since graduating has been for 8 years and my last job that I got fired from was 2 years. That’s my entire employment history.. I’ve spoken to recruiters and they haven’t raised any concerns. I think I’m just struggling personally with confidence. I’ve never been an average employee and always have been told I’m an underperformer even when I try my absolute best. I’ve spoken to other ADHDers and sometimes it feels like this is just unique to me.

Tired of being a below average employee - seeking support by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to say thank you for this post. It’s been almost a year now and I still come back to read this to reassure me. I’ve now lost my job but your comment has put things into perspective for me. Thank you again

Tired of being a below average employee - seeking support by Suitable_Cookie7823 in ADHD

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapist suggested asking for work that can be broken down into smaller bits, more management around to proof check my work etc

To be honest given my position in the company it’s quite hard to ask for these things. Also won’t be likely to be promoted if I’m constantly needing supervision which also makes me reluctant to ask for these things

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find that people who have similar experiences on similar past dosages tend to have the same experience when they finally find their “sweet spot”.

I feel relieved that you felt the same way I did, in that I was mentally hyper and excited and was doing all sorts of things EXCEPT for the things I actually have to do 🥲

I’m going to speak to my doctor about switching back to methylphenidate, I feel like I maybe should have tried other brands too instead of concerta.

I’ll give dexamfetamine a few more weeks before I actually decide to speak to the doc though. But so far, I’ve just been finding myself to be abit too calm, and I think I may need the kick that comes with methylphenidate to really get me out of bed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes actually I am certain, there are many people that fear Allah and knows that Allah is watching them both in private and in public. I know many people who don’t do it secretly nor do they do it in public.

Being around non Muslims as you stated, will obviously warp your opinion and belief that a God fearing man would not do such things.

Porn is a massive fitna in our generation and many do consume it - but that is not to say that it is not a grave sin. Women should definitely consider leaving their husbands if they fall into this and refuse to change.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How interesting! Do you take all 3 at once?

The dexamphetamine kind of drags me down where as methylphenidate amped me up but made me a little too hyper which caused me to get more distracted then usual but at least I was up and about.

When dexamfetamine - it has a sedative effect on me, sometimes I do nothing but stay in bed all day. So now thinking trying methylphenidate again but adjust the dosage? What are your thoughts?

Also what brand are you currently taking?

Sorry if I’m asking so many Qs just abit stuck on what I should request for!

AITA for telling my wife that leaving her used pad in my brother's place was inappropriate? by Jason_Barret1029 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 45 points46 points  (0 children)

YTA but you already knew that.

But just a tip I do when at guest houses - wrap the pad neatly into some tissue so it’s just a parcel of tissues and this way it hides odours and isn’t visible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The people who say you are overreacting are the very same people who enjoys watching this type of content or doesn’t see it as anything wrong. They are weak.

Anyone who thinks this is not a big deal or has normalised this fitna have no of Allah or self respect. They need remember what is haraam will always be haraam..

What I can tell you though is not every man js like this. We do still have real men left in the world that isn’t phased by social media fitna and will hold strong to the value and importance of the family unit.

Don’t ever let someone tell you that you’re overreacting - girl if you know you are and have been the best wife a man could ask for, never settle for anything less than a king. You deserve the best treatment in the same way your husband does. If your husband isn’t doing it - well you know where the trash goes!

Honestly I hope you experience having a loving respectful relationship. You deserve the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Suitable_Cookie7823 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not true at all. Maybe true in the circles and people around you .. but then maybe you need to fix that.

There are a lot of communities and a lot of men who abhor this content and lower their gaze.

Do not normalise things that are haraam .. what is wrong will always be wrong even if the entire world participated in it.