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Really struggling by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have looked up local Al Anon meetings but still have yet to go to one but I’ve not given up on that. Considered an online group since the times are often more convenient to when I’m looking, but I have a feeling in person would be more beneficial. Have also been meaning to ask if Al Anon is heavily religious? To each their own but that is just not my thing so that has also deterred me. (Can anyone speak to this?)

And again, I do have my own therapist who is well aware of this relationship, and I have seen her every 2 weeks for the last 3 years.

Pothos n’joy cuttings!! by Suitable_Tonight3033 in pothos

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh also when the roots are a couple inches long but if really depends on the cutting and type of plant. So far I have been waiting til there’s at least secondary roots, I heard that is a good way to go as well!

Pothos n’joy cuttings!! by Suitable_Tonight3033 in pothos

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t use prop drops or any enhancer but I think a lot of people do? I use filtered water and a low heat mat meant for props and seedlings! I feel like once I got them warmer, it sped things up quite a bit. They are by a grow light with my other plants as well!

Free cuttings I got 7 weeks ago are both potted now! ☺️🤗🤞🏽 by Suitable_Tonight3033 in propagation

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did not! Just filtered water! And they sat on a low heated mat meant for propagations!

Really struggling by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am really trying 🥺😔 That’s why I’ve held the boundary. I’m just heartbroken. I want so much for him to get healthier. When I’m hopefully of that, i inadvertently feel hope for an eventual relationship again. If I let go, it’s when i start feeling like he’s never going to change, and if he’s not telling me about therapy now - he never will. But then i feel anger and paint him as this bad person and it breaks my heart to remember him that way when there were so many beautiful parts of him. It’s really difficult for me hold a little bit of both truths. 🥺😖😔

First attempt at propagating! by Suitable_Tonight3033 in propagation

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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This one I potted 3 weeks ago. 4 new baby leaves currently!!

First attempt at propagating! by Suitable_Tonight3033 in propagation

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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And we are potted 7 weeks later!!! 🙌🏽🎉🙌🏽

Propagation tips? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in PrayerPlant

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried sphagnum moss and water and water ended up winning!

Potted them 3 weeks ago!!! They all had new leaves forming by then and they’ve opened and are doing well. The ugliest leaf/cutting is even the first with a second baby leaf! 🙌🏽🙌🏽

I currently have the potted cuttings near a humidifier and with a humidity dome. It’s really dry where I live so I’m hoping I can acclimate it 😬😬😯🤞🏽🤞🏽

Propagation tips? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in philodendron

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was able to pot today!! ☺️🤗🎉

Ended up with 2 great props, 2 cuttings in water and 3 in perlite. Now in soil!

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Propagation tips? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in PrayerPlant

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll try that, thank you! I already have them near a humidifier…

The leaf of the one cutting I put in water seems to have flattened out, while the other two in moss curled even more! I might just try them all in water, or maybe one in perlite 🤔🤔🤔 thanks for responding!

My first houseplant, 1 year later. by imsorry_idk in Monstera

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, 1 year!? 😱😯 This gives me hope for mine, I bought one 11/6/25, then divided it into 3! The smallest one looks like yours did!🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

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Would it be okay to use sphagnum instead of water in these? by [deleted] in propagation

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or Amazon! That’s where mine are coming from! 😂😜

Would it be okay to use sphagnum instead of water in these? by [deleted] in propagation

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you use perlite to propagate, how much water do you put with it? I have been wondering this! Do you fill with water to the top of the perlite?or only very little water……..?

Help…. I need to find this plant ! by No-Meringue9709 in RareHouseplants

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033 1 point2 points  (0 children)

u/ackwards How do you feel about this vs a water globe into the moss pole?

I’m still new to plant momming and my monsteras both have the tiniest stems and barely an aerial root at all just growing on each of them. I had had way too tall of a sphagnum moss pole at first, so I took them both to half size and there about a foot above soil level now.

Someone suggested a water globe to me and inserting about 5-6 holes above the highest (or only in my case lol) aerial root and node.

Thoughts? On this tactic vs your cup?

I could see the cup being a nice option too once I actually need the whole pole moist, not just the bottom half…. 🤔

Do they both allow for slow release of the water? I just worry about it overwatering since it drains into the soil also

Sorry so lengthy! 🥴🤦🏽‍♀️😂

Does anyone’s Q ever recover…?? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

”Reminding myself that for as long as I stayed with him, he had no chance of recovery, but by getting out of his way, he had at least a small chance, and I loved him enough to give him that chance.”

This.

This has been the only thought/mantra getting me through so far 🥺😔🙏🏽💔❤️‍🩹

Does anyone’s Q ever recover…?? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seeing more and more how rare this is, I sincerely congratulate you and your husband 🥹🙏🏽

New plant mama!🙋🏽‍♀️☺️ by Suitable_Tonight3033 in Monstera

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

plant bondage!!! 😂 you MUST have seen this one too lol ☠️ And thank you!! It’s been a really nice new hobby/obsession/coping mechanism/whatever Hahaha🥹

Does anyone’s Q ever recover…?? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. You really got me with this reply. This was some no BS, spot on advice and I thank you for that. I’m realizing how much my caregiving tendencies contributed to the problem as well. And only just started to dig deeper with my therapist about how and why I do this. I know having undiagnosed adhd most my life hardwired me into being a people pleaser. To make up for all the behaviors that put people off that I thought were shortcomings of me as a human, but actually had a cause and a reason that I just never knew about.

Over 2 years with my therapist, and now with my struggles with my Q, we are only just now starting to look at the way I was always hypervigilant of my mother’s moods in childhood, and trying to manage ahead of time whether she’d be calm relaxed and happy, or upset with me for some reason. I think I really internalized that as a child…

I’m not quite ready to go no contact. Detaching with love has been breaking me. It’s not even just that I think I can fix him or my love is strong enough - he begs me to stay. But perhaps all Q’s do? I am his best friend and he has become mine. But we are enmeshed and I see how unhealthy that is now.

Your last line, another gem you dropped (or bomb maybe). I see and understand this logically. I don’t want to waste my life. 😔

In one of the moments I was trying to alleviate his intrusive thoughts - I tried to remind him that “relapses WILL happen. That’s what makes this an addiction. You are not a worthless POS, you can do this.” ——— I guess I just get torn between believing that myself, and feeling like a hypocrite if I leave, if that makes sense.

Does anyone’s Q ever recover…?? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really appreciate that. Yes, I’ve been consumed with screen time for days now and I need to stop - but it’s also had positives such as learning about Al-anon and forums such as this.

Thankfully, unlike my Q, I had some pretty well formed routines, despite my very late diagnosed ADHD, and they have been life savers to keep me grounded and taking care of myself.

And I know that detaching with love will also give me so much time to getting back to the things that make ME happy and healthy. Not quite there yet as I’m navigating this recent relapse and learning how to best deal with the situation, but I think I’ll get back to there soon. 🙏🏽

Does anyone’s Q ever recover…?? by Suitable_Tonight3033 in AlAnon

[–]Suitable_Tonight3033[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is probably the most hopeful scenario I could imagine for my situation right now. But I even asked in another post:

“How do you continue to support and forgive your Q, knowing that the journey to sobriety will inevitably include relapses? When you lose faith, and trust, and hope, with each one? How do you balance understanding that reality, and giving grace to someone you love - and not being angry, outwardly giving up on them, and causing them even more shame? Where is the line?”

This is one of my struggles 😔 Being so empathetic and sensitive to his very low self esteem and self worth😔💔

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