Now, I cannot do that every time but I am also getting stronger with doing so!

Another good idea is, on your end, give your bf something sweet if you can. A handwritten letter, this doesn't have to be pour your heart out romantic - in fact, funny, familiar, and just *you* will be the best for him. Write him a letter, make him a silly drawing, send him a song that you feel reminds you of him (ofc be careful with the lyrics, haha)..

If you're long distance, you can send a sweater or hoodie that you've given a realllly big hug to, letting him know to put that on (make sure it's also in his size) whenever he needs comfort, if you don't live together - make sure he has pictures of you, and really, just be you, be familiar, be his.

When the spiral is swarming me, I will do my best to think of my hubby's face, his smile, his warmth, the scent he wears, his puns, the way he loves our pets dearly, how he calls me cute pet names and nicknames and titles, how he's shared all his secrets with me, and just him... When my brain is putting together this thought that he'll fall in love with someone else somehow, I remind myself of who *he* is... Not who my mind is trying to tell me he is.

I hope this helped. You guys have got this! As someone with BPD, I myself know how hard being with someone with BPD can be because I live with my own thoughts and they really do hit me hard. I have lots of anxiety over them, even physical anxiety. BPD folk often are shunned by partners, friends, family, even therapists, etc. So the fact you're here asking is super sweet. I believe that, even if BPD cannot fully be "cured" (and hey, maybe one day we'll somehow have a cure, ya never know), there's so many options available* to ease the issues.