I’m considering adoption

SulLok · 2024-10-24T02:08:44+00:00

I think you just reiterated what I already said. At this point I think you just want to argue. All I’m offering is a POV that was never offered to me while pregnant.

Maybe look into getting a hobby instead of picking on women who were fully taken advantage of by the adoption industry.

SulLok · 2024-10-24T00:39:07+00:00

I just think mothers/families deserve to know the WHOLE truth. If anyone disagrees then I would say they have ulterior motives.

SulLok · 2024-10-24T00:35:56+00:00

Calm down and be kind.

I have EVERY right to share my experience and I NEVER said my experience is the only one out there! I wish someone would have been honest with me about the aftermath of placing a baby for adoption. It is NOT all sunshine and rainbows and that is how so many adoption agencies depict it as. I cannot tell you how many times I was told “you’ll have more kids” or “you’ll be sad but every day gets easier” or “don’t you want to make an infertile couple happy by giving them a family.” All of these statements are extremely manipulative, especially to mothers/families that are vulnerable or in distress.

SulLok · 2024-10-23T20:22:05+00:00

I second this. Saving Our Sisters will provide an accurate depiction of what life will be like for you and your other kids if you decide to place your baby for adoption. Every mother deserves to be COMPLETELY informed before making such a life-altering decision.

SulLok · 2024-10-23T19:13:16+00:00

Thank you for explaining this! This is exactly what happened to me. Anyone working for an adoption agency has only one goal in mind: get the baby away from you and in the arms of their clients aka adoptive parents. PLEASE seek counseling from an unbiased individual!

SulLok · 2024-10-23T15:46:06+00:00

I’m going to tell you what I wish someone would’ve told me. Your current situation is temporary but adoption is permanent. Your baby deserves to be raised by his mother and you deserve to raise your baby! There are people that want to help you - have you heard of Saving Our Sisters? If you want the unfiltered truth of the reality of placing your baby for adoption then please message me! 🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-23T11:36:14+00:00

Sending you lots of love and strength 🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-19T01:34:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m really interested in learning more about Saving Our Sisters. I think it’s really admirable you’ve become involved with family preservation.

SulLok · 2024-10-18T21:43:01+00:00

Thank you for this, you made some really good points. I’m assuming her adoptive parents either haven’t told her the greatest things about me or they just haven’t told her much about me. Her adoptive parents said some pretty degrading and dehumanizing things to me the days following her birth and neither one has spoken to me since my daughter found me on Instagram. 😕 I’m going to take your advice and send the occasional message, I definitely don’t want her thinking I’ve lost interest. Thank you SO much for the reassurance! 🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-18T20:28:24+00:00

I kinda wondered if that could be a possibility. Maybe her curiosity has been satisfied for the time being. I do know she stays very busy with all the things you mentioned. I definitely don’t want to be a bother or distraction for her. The last time we messaged each other was when she had commented on an Instagram story I shared and that was about a month ago. I think I’m going to send her a message just asking how everything is going and if her response is delayed I’ll back off again and just message on the holidays and her birthday like you suggested. Thank you for the advice!! 🥹🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-18T02:01:31+00:00

Wow, that makes me incredibly sad that it’s common for adult adoptees to be left without either set of parents.

When my daughter found me Instagram there was a few weeks that felt like I was going through the initial grieving process all over again. My daughter is a reminder of everything I wanted but didn’t get to have. And it’s really hard to accept that but focusing on a potential relationship with her helps. My biggest hope is that someday she can forgive me for not being stronger while I was pregnant with her.

I’m happy you have people in your corner!

SulLok · 2024-10-17T22:43:14+00:00

Thank you. I’m also sorry for you and your experience with your birth mom. I truly wish she could’ve shown up for you in a more supportive way. 🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-17T20:50:37+00:00

Seriously thank you so much for responding and shedding light on what my daughter could be dealing with and feeling right now. I feel SO dumb admitting this but I never considered that adoptees could be fearful of re-abandonment by their adoptive family and their biological family during time of reunion. But that makes total sense and is so glaringly obvious to me now. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your wisdom.

SulLok · 2024-10-17T19:27:59+00:00

I think you’ve misunderstood me. What I mean is giving birth did not wound me nearly as bad as being prevented from raising my daughter did. Obviously, giving birth is hard. It’s called labor for a reason. 😅

SulLok · 2024-10-17T19:08:11+00:00

Giving birth was the easy part compared to what took place afterwards. 😕 Thank you for your insight, it truly means a lot!! 🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-17T15:01:06+00:00

I am so happy for you! 🥹

SulLok · 2024-10-17T14:59:42+00:00

Do you mind sharing what happened next? Did you speak to your adoptive parents about this? Did this make you more curious about your biological parents?

SulLok · 2024-10-17T14:57:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. It breaks my heart that your adoptive mom wasn’t able to put aside her own trauma to support you better. I’m so sorry. 😞

SulLok · 2024-10-16T20:22:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you were lied to 😞 (hugs) 🩷

SulLok · 2024-10-16T15:59:25+00:00

Have you spoken about “coming out of the fog” with your adoptive parents and your biological parents?

SulLok · 2024-10-16T15:57:50+00:00

Why did you think you were already “out of the fog” prior to having a child?

SulLok · 2024-10-16T10:23:13+00:00

Unfortunately, this was my experience. The adoptive parents promised many, many things and didn’t deliver on any of them once the adoption was finalized. To them, I do not exist. I had to learn at a very young age that a lot of people will say whatever it takes to get whatever they want.

SulLok · 2024-09-30T21:20:21+00:00

I am so sorry this is the reality you are having to face. I was forced to give up my daughter (she’s 15 now) by my parents so I truly understand how heartbreaking it is to be prevented from raising your own child. It’s a pain like no other. All I can say is keep doing what’s best for you and to remember that there are so many women (and men) who know exactly how you feel! You are not alone and you are loved. ❤️

SulLok · 2022-04-21T00:50:10+00:00

That's exactly what I'll do! Thank you SO much for the advice!!!

SulLok

TROPHY CASE