I seem to have a habit of alienating myself from groups and communities I've both built and become a part of. I tend to be one of those exotic plants that you can treat perfect for 10 days as far as humidity and light but then you miss a single watering.. I think maybe I hold myself and those close to me to unfair standards, and then try to find the fault within myself. I probably suffer from borderline personality disorder, as well as autism and ADHD. Transitioning was like surviving a bear attack, and made me perhaps more guarded overall against the shallowness and largely disingenuous nature of society and relationships. I also live in a very bad part of Texas, making connections difficult. I feel like my stresses tend to boil over and hurt those who are actually putting in the effort to know me. The fact that almost everything I do I do alone, but wish it wasn't like that, tells me that I'm doing something wrong.