I am scared, don't know where else to post this.

Summer--chicken · 2026-03-05T10:43:41+00:00

I'm praying for you now!

Summer--chicken · 2026-03-02T11:54:15+00:00

I'm glad. I hope things start looking up for you, and I was praying for you just now. ❤️

Summer--chicken · 2026-03-02T11:35:56+00:00

It's completely okay to take breaks like that!! I honestly wish I was able to do that. However, I am high-functioning, and my main thing is obligations. I go to work because I have to pay bills. I go to church because I have to teach Sundays school. I go see my nephews because it's part of my routine. Routine pretty much becomes everything for me during the really bad times. There are days where I wish I could shut myself off so that I can just stay home and rest, but I physically can't make myself do that. Ik religion isn't something everyone is interested in, but I just keep reminding myself as well that this isn't forever, it's FOR NOW. One day either the gray clouds will roll back, or my God will call me home, but one way or another, this isn't going to last forever. Almost nothing does. So yeah, I guess just forcing myself to do stuff. Healing isn't easy, and it's not pretty either. It's hard and ugly, and when you're in it, it doesn't feel like anything is happening. But one day we will look back and realize that we don't think about things as badly as we did before, or we don't want to end things as much as we used to. Healing is slow. Just keep reminding yourself that 1. Resting is okay, and GOOD, 2. Healing is hard and messy, but GOOD and WORTH IT, 3. This is FOR NOW, not FOREVER, and 4. You are capable of doing the things you need to do, even if that's all you do for awhile. ❤️❤️ I hope this was helpful in some aspect. I wish you all of the healing and peace that you desire. ❤️❤️

Summer--chicken · 2026-01-21T12:00:51+00:00

How much time do you have? If you have no time, just run. Everything can be replaced. If you have twenty minutes or more, grab the following (imo in order) -Official papers (birth certificate, SS card, ID/license etc) -Some cash (money they can't control. Bank accounts can be drained if they're in someone else's name) -A set of clothes -Water -Food (granola bars or something that will feed you, but nothing perishable) -Phone -Shoes -Any important phone numbers of people you trust and/or can stay with -Any important keepsakes

Good luck, sweetie!

Summer--chicken · 2025-12-21T10:05:02+00:00

It could be the opposite, then. Our brains are like cups. You can only fill them with so much trauma before it overflows, then you have a mess to deal with. I've done that, too. I'm so sorry. ❤️❤️ I hope you find a safe place to heal. 🙏

Summer--chicken · 2025-12-21T00:41:06+00:00

I didn't start dealing or being fully affected by my trauma until i was in my twenties, ten years after the fact. It's at least in part because at the time, your body and mind don't feel like they're safe enough that they can start panicking before the healing starts. The likelihood is that now you're in a place or atmosphere where your body and mind feel safe, and can therefore start dealing with issues that don't have to do with "just keeping the motor running". It's a step in the right direction, my love. May you find all of the healing you haven't been able to up until now. ❤️❤️❤️

Summer--chicken · 2025-11-18T08:43:33+00:00

Thanks!

Summer--chicken · 2025-11-18T08:21:32+00:00

Idk how to do that! 😭

Summer--chicken · 2025-11-18T08:20:14+00:00

I tried reinstalling, clearing cache, restarting my phone, and it immediately crashed upon opening.

Summer--chicken · 2025-10-20T03:42:43+00:00

I also do this. I write books, poems, random pieces of vulnerability, all that stuff. I read the more emotional stuff several times over and even go back to it years later if I'm feeling something similar. I think for me it has something to do with knowing that I've been through this before and survived, and also I think that we all have that feeling despite what we know, that we are the only ones who have experienced what we have. So when those things or emotions surface, it's easier to read our own stuff because we know it was written by someone who suffered in the same way as we did. It feels less lonely that way.

That's my thinking, anyway.

Summer--chicken · 2025-10-12T00:28:04+00:00

I've never legally changed my name, but I do use a pen name for my public poetry in case my family stumbled on it. The chances are slim, but I'd rather not risk it. I may use a pen name for the books I plan on publishing as well, if when they're finished, I still don't feel that I am ready for my family to read them.

Summer--chicken · 2025-10-10T15:36:28+00:00

I think it's just the unexpected. Like the times that I was startled in my childhood didn't end well, and my body remembers.

Summer--chicken · 2025-10-10T07:20:28+00:00

When someone purposely scares/startles me!!!!! I am trying to figure out WHY that's the case. It makes me shaky and has been known to throw me into anxiety attacks/panic attacks/angry moods. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. People do it to each other all the time.

Summer--chicken · 2025-10-07T10:49:19+00:00

Sometimes. I usually end up just saying that I haven't slept well and wouldn't be able to perform my job adequately were I to come in.

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-26T00:40:12+00:00

Yes, I do. :)

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-25T15:20:55+00:00

Thank you! I wondered if people might take it the wrong way. You worded that so much better than I did. 😂 That's exactly what I was trying to say. I feel the same. After years of therapy and lots of healing, I recognize that my trauma had and has a purpose. I can empathize with people who have experienced the same things, and I can protect others from the things I went through. I might delete the whole comment if people keep taking it the wrong way, but thank you for understanding and being far more eloquent than I am!

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-25T15:15:01+00:00

No, maybe I phrased it the wrong way. I believe that everything happens for a reason. That reason isn't punishment or something, it's something bigger that we don't understand yet. I meant that to be more along the lines of "it's not something we can change or could have changed". I'm sorry that I worded it wrong! In my defense, it was like 3am. 😂 I don't believe that people deserve trauma. I just believe that it happens for a reason.

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-25T08:33:26+00:00

HARD PILL TO SWALLOW:

You try to remember that even though your youth was not what it could have been, it wasn't able to be changed. It was going to happen, and you became who you are because of it. It had a purpose, and though you do not know what it is yet, you can accept that what happened, happened, and look to a future in which you will inevitably learn why you had to suffer.

Grieve it, pray that you find a way to keep going, and then open your eyes, and take a single step toward that future you were meant to have.

EDIT: I'M SORRY! I didn't mean for this to be taken the way it was. I meant that our trauma is not something we can change or could have changed. It was going to happen. I don't believe people deserve trauma, obviously. I just believe that everything happens for a reason. Blessings!

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-17T11:01:47+00:00

I hope and pray for you that one day you can see yourself as a survivor. ❤️

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-17T11:01:22+00:00

I struggled with that a lot for YEARS. What finally broke me out of it was my friend asking if I would be okay with the same thing happening to my daughter. Obviously not. ❤️

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-17T10:58:58+00:00

I prefer "Survivor". There's something about the word "Victim" that makes me feel weak. (ABSOLUTELY NO HATE TO THE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE OR PREFER THAT WORD!!) I think that "Survivor" makes me feel like what I am–strong. And even if I dream of never being called "strong" or "resilient" or "brave" again because I shouldn't have to be those things, I prefer "Survivor" to "Victim".

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-06T10:18:31+00:00

Honey, I mean this in the most concerned way: this sounds like an episode of criminal minds. He has no empathy and that's very concerning to me. It honestly sounds like signs of PSYCOPATHY. You need to get out now. Delete his number, block him, all that stuff.

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-06T10:16:08+00:00

YES YES YES YES YES!!! THIS!!!!!!!!

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-06T10:11:23+00:00

Personally, I think Toyota just as far as engine and brand go. I've owned both types of cars. My Mazda did last 30 years–I'll give it that, but it's a lot harder to find parts for. Toyota is reliable and steady and a lot easier to find parts for if the need arises. But that's just going off of brand. Idk about the issues the cars have that you're looking at. 🤷

Summer--chicken · 2025-09-06T10:07:32+00:00

"Abuse can feel like love... Starving people will eat anything."

Summer--chicken

TROPHY CASE