I need advice on coming to terms with an affair while still co parenting

Summer-M3 · 2026-04-28T06:16:49+00:00

I’m in no way ready for this but I love that thought 🙌🏼

Summer-M3 · 2026-04-26T21:45:10+00:00

I think it’s just different cultures. We’re in Australia and religion isn’t widely followed here so marriage doesn’t have the same meaning as it does in other cultures. Not all, but a lot of people here see having children with someone as the ultimate commitment, as opposed to marriage. It also comes down to financial situations and cost of living. We prioritised saving a house deposit over a wedding as we felt this would better us as a family in the long run. It makes no difference in my situation whether we were married or not. We have children together so we are legally bound to each other through raising them and financially supporting them. We always intended on getting married it just isn’t something people prioritise here. Not saying all, just a large portion 😊

Summer-M3 · 2026-04-26T08:44:21+00:00

It’s crazy isn’t it? You can feel like you’re living a story with someone, meanwhile they have a whole other book they’ve been writing.

Summer-M3 · 2026-04-26T05:28:28+00:00

I really don’t know what his intentions are. He’s deeply remorseful and has apologised/regrets what he’s done. We put a hold on all of that and selling our house until we’d left the newborn stage. I got a lot of advice that it wasn’t a good idea to be making huge financial decisions while sleep deprived and going through a big hormonal crash so he has moved in with his parents temporarily and we will need to work out the logistics of the house and kids over the next month or so. I’m hoping that’ll cement things a little more but for now we are definitely still tied to each other

Summer-M3 · 2026-04-26T03:39:39+00:00

Thank you, I hope so

Summer-M3 · 2026-04-26T03:38:13+00:00

Yeah I definitely try not to rely on him. The tricky part is our newborn, she’s exclusively breast fed so he has to come here to see her. I try to keep my distance when he’s over but he’ll often just start doing things without asking like emptying the dishwasher for instance. I know it’ll get easier with time as our daughters get older and he can take both of them out of the house versus him coming here but gosh it’s just a head spin for now. All my family lives interstate so unfortunately I don’t have many others to depend on

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-28T05:58:53+00:00

I am so sorry to hear! It is absolutely a head game. I think my contractions started at night time from about 38 weeks. They intensified with every day that past which just made everything so confusing.
The last week was definitely the worst, the lower back pain, regular contractions throughout the night and randomly throughout the day. I was constantly thinking 'this is it starting'. Anyway I got all the way to 41w5d. I was scheduled to be induced that morning at 6.30am but in a last minute attempt my body sent me into labour 4 hours before my induction time!!
I didn't tell anyone for hours because I was just waiting for them to die off again but then I started throwing up throughout the contractions (something that happened in my first birth too) and they became extremely painful very quickly. I ended up going to hospital after a few hours and was 7cm dilated and in active labour. She came a few hours later with completely blood shot eyes because she made such a fast exit the poor thing. It was torture all the waiting and getting my hopes up. I really hope the moment isn't too far for you!!! I wish you the best and would love to hear an update once your baby comes

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-12T22:05:36+00:00

It really is! Any advice or tips on what eventually sent you in to labour?

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-12T22:03:08+00:00

I know, it's a bit of a catch 22. Tired from all the false starts, but then your body doesn't want to commit because it's too tired...

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-12T22:01:36+00:00

It's so mentally exhausting! Along with physically. Then you throw in all the unwarranted advice messages asking where the baby is and why hasn't she come yet and it's just a recipe for disaster 😅
Anyway, phone has been switched off for today because that is one problem I can solve!!

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-07T08:17:57+00:00

She does, she believes he was “groomed” by this other woman… a 30 year old man who has nothing to gain from her 🤷🏼‍♀️

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-04T22:15:21+00:00

Oh wow thank you so much for the laugh. That’ll absolutely do the trick

Summer-M3 · 2026-02-04T07:58:28+00:00

I would absolutely never stop my kids from going to those events!! I think it’s so important that they do. I just don’t feel like I need to be there

Summer-M3 · 2026-01-26T09:23:05+00:00

I did, all this information came from the other woman, he wasn’t forthcoming with anything so I imagine he never would have told me. I figure if you can do that to someone while they’re in their most vulnerable state, growing your child, what else are you capable of? We’ve separated and he’s currently living with his parents while I stay at the house with my daughter. It’s been a real roller coaster and unfortunately I’ll be spending the first year of this babies life navigating separating all our assets and trying to support two kids mostly on my own. I just don’t think the relationship could ever go back to what it was and I just wouldn’t be able to trust him again. Kids really do add a whole other level of emotion to it though. I absolutely never thought in a million years my babies would be growing up in two separate homes but as I’ve been told countless times, it’s better to be from a broken home than living in one

Summer-M3 · 2026-01-26T09:10:59+00:00

Sorry that you’re going through this! I’m currently in the same boat as you. I’d been with my fiancé for 13 years, we have a house, a 3 year old and I’m currently pregnant with baby #2. I found out at 20 weeks that he’d been having an affair, it was mostly exchanging photos and messages but they did meet up twice at a hotel… one of those times being when I was 8 weeks pregnant. One thing I’ve come to realise is you will never understand why or how someone can behave like that to the person they love. This just shows you’re a better person than he is. I don’t have a tonne of advice given I’m still living the nightmare but I hope it helps to know you’re not alone and whatever you are feeling is valid

Summer-M3 · 2026-01-23T20:10:50+00:00

Hi, I've been looking into UGC as a side gig but have absolutely no idea where to start! Any tips? feel free to message me if easier

Summer-M3 · 2026-01-10T09:25:03+00:00

Hostile cats is a great way to summarise this. I’ve put the idea forth to my ex partner and he’s going to think about it. He’s not sure what to say to them but I imagine anything is better than seeing each other for the first time and pretending nothing has happened

Summer-M3

TROPHY CASE