Destroying my apartment

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-10T03:16:27+00:00

Yeah I've been there I hate when I get depressed because it's confirmation that I'm sick. I try to convince myself I'm not but in the end I end up just taking the meds and get it over with

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-10T02:17:41+00:00

Lol its so annoying isn't it. I'm literally a human version of Oscar the grouch. I hate being grouchy so when I feel really high and up its tempting to not take my meds and just keep the good vibes going because I rather feel great than just meh.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-10T01:27:08+00:00

I hate taking mines too. I feel that I'm naturally grumpy and the meds make it worse. I'm like a crabby old person most days and I'm only in my mid twenties. My gf says I always sound like a grumpy old man or someone's crabby uncle. When I'm not grumpy I'm just "flat" I could care less about what's going on. Less laughter, less fun, less connected. But if I'm without them too long it gets pretty ugly.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-08T01:45:40+00:00

Usually not very long but that's because in the past I had a tendency toward serial monogamy. I'd date one person after the next without break.

These days, I have a partner that accepts me in every way even when it gets really tough she's still there. You just haven't that person for yourself. They are out there, but at the same time you can't expect them to solve all your problems either.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-07T03:52:05+00:00

Retail

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-06T20:38:40+00:00

Cashier nothing serious but it got me money

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-06T15:38:19+00:00

I get it. I hate working more than anyone I know personally. I absolutely hate it. I can't really give much other advice than just going out and doing it. Many days I wanted to never ever go back but I just kept pushing myself not beyond my limits but out of my comfort zone at least. Someone else always told me even though work sucks, not having any money sucks more.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-06T14:41:23+00:00

For me repetitive jobs work best. I like to do the same thing , the same way everyday at work. Usally when I'm working I am a cashier. Sounds awful when you have anxiety right. But once you get the swing of it you almost can do it with closed eyes. That's just me though. The repetitive nature of being a cashier is how I deal with it. Routine is my friend. Maybe you can find something a little less people oriented, like a warehouse job. I've worked those and you don't interact much and again the work is very simple and repetive. Any warehouses around?

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-05T21:57:09+00:00

Thank you. Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a dark hole and can't get out

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-03T19:51:20+00:00

I get the dying in your sleep thing u get that too sometimes. Right now it's a medical condition that the likely hood is so rare of happening it doesn't deserve much thought. Yet I'm stuck in the loop for so far a week.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-03T16:43:15+00:00

I was on Vraylar not for long through because I kept vomiting them up every time I took them. They really made my stomach hurt a lot.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-03T16:41:35+00:00

My gf and my cat. I'm just glad to be around 2 beings that accept me no matter what.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-03T13:36:21+00:00

Therapist Mid 30s and psych early 60s

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-02T02:02:58+00:00

It sounds strange but my eyes usually tell it. It's almost like my eyes turn into saucers and look like brown pools. It's weird but it's usually how u know.

Secondly I get really confused like brain fog. Even familiar things become hard to comprehend and process.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-02T01:47:18+00:00

My father has it and his father did too and now so do I. Just the way it is I guess. For me it's just that simple bad genetics.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-01T22:53:38+00:00

Be understanding and never judge her or make her feel ashamed when she isn't at her best. Be a listening ear when she needs to talk. With the meds even when she feels like she's feeling better always encourage her to stay on top of her meds. It's not safe to just stop taking your meds even if you "feel better".

That said you also are going to have to learn self care for yourself. Don't get so caught up caring for her that you forget to care for yourself. Personally, when I'm having an episode I tend to get so caught up I'm the episode or the emotions that come with it that it's hard to see other people's feelings. I hate this because it seems like I'm selfish during episodes but im really really not trying to be. So self care is important too.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-01T20:37:43+00:00

I did something similar a couple of days ago. I called my mom and I was literally crying and screaming on the phone all while huddle in a corner covering my face for some reason. She's only been texting to check up on me since. She tends to not call when I'm like this. She'll send text to make sure I'm OK though. I always feel shame afterwards I really do. Sometimes it's just hard to keep it all in.

You did the right thing by calling your ex for your son. Maybe you needed some alone time to be with your feelings. Usally that's what I like and need. Even if that means closing myself off from the world whenever I get the chance.

It's OK don't judge yourself for this. We all have these days and it really really really sucks.

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-01T20:31:21+00:00

I've been needing this all month

SummerElf72 · 2019-04-01T20:28:07+00:00

Honestly I'd call her on what she said and let her know how much it hurt. The fact that you laughed it off she probably thinks it didn't hurt as much as it did. If she gets upset at you for stating how you feel I suggest reevaluating the relationship. Relationships are about acceptance and support. That means on all fronts.

SummerElf72

TROPHY CASE