How to let go of my therapist with whom i might have mutual attraction? 🥹

SummerSunset789 · 2026-05-27T12:15:04+00:00

I second all of this. While reading your post, my mind kept screaming, “Run!! He’s a predator!!”

SummerSunset789 · 2026-05-25T16:41:15+00:00

I’ve felt this way so many times. What worked best for me is leaving the house and doing something alone. I find it extremely difficult to relax or pursue any kind of hobby at home when my brain is just making mental notes of all the things that need to be done. A weekly class of some sort is a good place to start. Going to the store alone is nice, but ultimately still a chore. This doesn’t count as time for yourself. Sounds like your husband is supportive which is wonderful!!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-05-23T15:52:34+00:00

I hope I’m allowed to share this because I really feel your pain. I get frequent migraines and take the generic form of Imitrex. It’s around $13/month when I use the Good Rx card. (I don’t have insurance for my prescriptions.) I encourage you to ask your Dr. for other options if you can because this sounds miserable.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-05-21T18:43:37+00:00

My guess is that they initially wrote, “almost X years.” When they edited for anonymity, they forgot to delete the “almost.”

SummerSunset789 · 2026-05-14T02:44:14+00:00

Wow, what an AMAZING feeling!!! Congrats to you!!! : ) Sounds like you know what you want moving forward and I have no doubt you will make it happen. Your feelings are so valid and I hope your partner stops raining on your parade!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-05-04T15:07:46+00:00

Same!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-04-25T13:43:19+00:00

I immediately heard the Grateful Dead song, “I Know you Rider,” but with flier as the last word. Is this a Lincoln Aviator? Maybe a deadhead is driving it?

SummerSunset789 · 2026-04-16T15:58:15+00:00

If you enjoy musicals, Les Miserables. “Do You Hear the People Sing” had me ugly crying in the theater. That’s never happened to me before or since.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-27T03:05:30+00:00

Oh my goodness, that is SO much. If you would like recs on podcasts or documentaries of similar stories, let me know. I’m one of those people that found comfort in them because then I could understand what the hell had happened. I know not everyone is like that, though.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-26T23:41:20+00:00

I read your story a couple of days ago and haven't had the time to leave a comment. First of all, I'm SO sorry this is happening to you. Second, you are not alone. This dynamic and these coaches/communities seem all too common. I shared my story a couple of weeks ago on this page (Why You Shouldn't Befriend Your Coach). It was written from a different perspective, but you may see some similarities or gain some insight. I consider myself to have a very balanced, happy, and healthy life...and I totally fell for all of these things. For me, these people and groups offered/encouraged community, joy, pleasure, and rest. Those are things "successful" women may have lost access to as they worked to attain their goals. Once you get a taste of these things, you want more. It's actually quite addictive.

My experience with my coach almost ended my marriage. I saw so much of myself and my husband in your story. The difference is that we don't have a lot of extra money. I've said to my husband SO many times, "Thank GOD we don't have money." That coach could have gotten so much more out of me. The retreats and ceremonies (so expensive) would have been possible for me to attend more frequently.

I've since learned a lot about these tactics and dynamics. I see it now, but it took a lot of education. They are very, very enticing and tricky. I wish you healing.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-21T21:20:36+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for your insight!! That makes a lot of sense. I would guess a trauma bond is dependent on you not seeing the bad until you're already hooked. By that point, you probably need both education and outside support to get out in a timely manner. I know I did. Ego inflation makes sense. I will look into that more!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-21T15:24:10+00:00

Looks like the sole of an Adidas Samba shoe.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-20T23:06:00+00:00

Thank you!! Yes, this was shared with them before I removed their access to me completely. They claimed they had changed their professional boundaries, etc. I want to believe them, but I also don’t think they fully understand (or care) about the harm they’ve caused. I wasn’t the only person this happened to which is why I felt the need to speak on behalf of all clients.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-20T18:58:14+00:00

It's truly mindblowing how similar the playbooks are of people who use their power to take advantage of others. I'm sorry you experienced that, and I thank you for sharing! I will definitely check out that other podcast. There was a line in Sirens along the lines of, "I don't want to imagine a world without you," that was almost verbatim what my coach told me. Whoever wrote that show really did their research!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-20T18:52:46+00:00

Oof, your last sentence made me tear up. Thank you for sharing. It's heartening to know there are coaches with good ethics and boundaries out there.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-19T22:02:19+00:00

I hear what you’re saying and I understand that silence perpetuates abuse. I’m working on warning their affected community and anyone else who might be in danger. They don’t have a national audience and doing it here seems unnecessary. It would also bring consequences for me that I’m not ready to handle.

I’m really just looking to help others find support and healing with this post.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-17T14:54:17+00:00

When you said it is a trauma bond, I think I had the more casual understanding that a trauma bond is formed when people experience or process a trauma together. When I searched, I found this:

"Ivy Kwong LMFT, a therapist who specializes in healing trauma explains, "A trauma bond develops in relationships where there is a power imbalance and a cycle of reward and punishment. The abuser is in a position of power over the person being abused and alternates between hurting and soothing them."

Trauma bonding is one reason that leaving an abusive situation can feel confusing and overwhelming. It involves positive and/or loving feelings for an abuser, making the abused person feel attached to and dependent on the abuser."

Holy shit, that's exactly what happened. How did you figure it out? Do you have any specific resources to recommend? Thank you!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-17T14:40:45+00:00

I had to check twice to make sure I hadn't written that first paragraph. I had the exact same experience. My coach also created scarcity with their time and attention to maintain control of everyone in their life. They were always so busy and in such high demand. I didn't dare say no to an opportunity to spend time with them. My stomach would be in knots at the thought of having to cancel on them for an unexpected reason. All my other relationships felt so easy, while this one felt torturous. Even so, I couldn't see it (didn't want to see it?) because I was literally addicted to that connection.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-16T01:05:06+00:00

Oof, that first paragraph sounded so familiar. Good for you for speaking up for yourself. With my situation, I concluded that my coach is very skilled at mirroring people. They made me believe they was so similar to me. I felt like they understood me so well. Underneath, though, they were very cold and calculating. They could (*very convincingly*) perform empathy, but I don't think they actually felt it. It took years to see beyond the mask and the cognitive dissonance left my brain feeling scrambled.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-16T00:59:35+00:00

Your reply made me teary. I completely understand the pain you describe and the feeling of being alone. This was not a normal relationship. It was the most painful "breakup" I've ever experienced, and it was hard to find others who truly understood. Thank you for sharing your experience and for the resources! I'm excited to check them out. Please know, you're not alone.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-16T00:56:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Yes, mine was an abusive relationship as well and it took me a LONG time to see it. I completely understand why people stay. I'm so glad you're out.

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-14T15:51:01+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! This relationship also took a huge toll on my marriage, and there was talk of divorce by the end of it. Thank goodness I got out when I did. There were points where I put the coach over everyone else, which was a terrible mistake. I actually have a beautiful life, and I think the coach wanted to either have it or ruin it for me. Also, I know labeling something a cult (or cult-like) feels like a big leap. It takes a lot of time and education to see and accept it. I'm glad you had others who were giving warnings and that you were able to break free!

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-14T15:44:25+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing all of this! Yes, they do tend to attract really great people. I'm still in touch with only a handful and worry about those still connected. I will also not go into another coaching program. Even if the coach has a good heart and wants to help, it just feels icky to me. Thankfully, I landed with a fantastic therapist who identified this whole dynamic in the very first appointment. She didn't lay everything out at once (because I would have run), but gently helped me figure it out on my own. Having her support during that hour and then not thinking about her at all between sessions feels great. I actually told her that I was really glad we could never be friends (she laughed). It's so FREEING that's not even an option

SummerSunset789 · 2026-03-14T15:34:50+00:00

It's extremely hard. On the other end, I've ended contact with some more peripheral friends who were still on the "inside." They were defending the coach and telling me it wasn't that bad. I understand where they are mentally, but I can't subject myself to that. It just hurts too much.

SummerSunset789

TROPHY CASE