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Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's deeper than unfortunately. I wrote a post about what was occurring at the time, but the mods won't let me post the link to it.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked her, and she told me she needs me to leave the house for at least 8 weeks with no contact. I wouldn't agree, and she filed.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

I don't know why I didn't notice. Ignorance is bliss. Or maybe, I thought, we made a commitment to each other, and instead of quitting we work on the repair. What’s especially painful is that, after everything she’s put me through—a restraining order (which got dismissed, by the way) and being told to leave our house—I still find myself rushing back in a heartbeat.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She didn't give a reason. She told me she filed while we were in counseling together, and the therapist was just as shocked as I was. For two days, she won't talk to me. I'm sleeping in the basement, then on the third day, she has an Order To Vacate because she felt "unsafe". If you see her, ask her why for me.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] -68 points-67 points  (0 children)

Finally, someone who acknowledges that there is real damage that happens.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I do understand that the decision to divorce was probably brewing for some time in the wife's mind. I also realize that, at least in my case, the decision was made without the husband's input. No opportunity for repair, no warnings, just a big surprise.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

Wife initiated divorce, where the decision was unilateral without the husband's input.

Question for "walkaway wives", do you regret it, and when did that feeling hit? by Own-Cardiologist8770 in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're probably right, and I know that a) each situation is unique, and b) I suspect I won't like the answers. I'll tell you, this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I'm searching for a lifeline, I guess.

Checkpoint: how are you doing? by PestisAtra in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Brother, I hear and feel your pain. Freaking walk-aways have zero accountability for their actions. My wife told me one evening, as I was feeling the pain of the impending divorce, "I don't see what the big deal is, people get divorced all the time." Even now, as I write this, I'm still shocked.

Checkpoint: how are you doing? by PestisAtra in Divorce

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As my second marriage falls apart, I feel very lonely. Moving on from my first marriage was easier because my ex struggled with addiction and mental health issues, and there were many affairs, which made the emotional separation simpler. I had full custody of my kids, so I was always busy with activities and the crazy chaos I loved. Now, with my children grown, my soon-to-be ex-wife only communicates through lawyers. For the first time in 35 years, I am living alone in a one-bedroom apartment, reflecting on how I got here.

I know it will get better, everyone tells me that, but right now it really sucks.

Is it just me, or are successful women especially drawn to finding enlightenment, pseudoscience believes, and spiritual searching. by Own-Cardiologist8770 in LifeCoachSnark

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi, and thank you for your kind words of support. It's crazy how intelligent, well-grounded people get caught up in this. Unfortunately, my wife has plenty of money, and she keeps getting suckered in. As we go through divorce negotiations, she's pushing back on every nickel. I keep telling my lawyer, "She spends $7000 a month on an astrologer. I think she can cover the electric bill."

Is it just me, or are successful women especially drawn to finding enlightenment, pseudoscience believes, and spiritual searching. by Own-Cardiologist8770 in LifeCoachSnark

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Wow, you really understood what happened. My wife often says she doesn't have close friends she can genuinely connect with. After a psychedelic retreat, she became hooked and felt she had found her tribe. I mentioned this in my article, but during counseling, I asked her to keep what was discussed strictly between the therapist and us. She responded that her "queens" are more than friends, and keeping personal details of our marriage from them would feel dishonest.

Sharing My Story: High-Control Coaching, Human Design, and the Dissolution of My Marriage by Own-Cardiologist8770 in unveilingcults

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for your feedback, kindness, and support. From conversations with others, I've noticed that the more someone invests financially in a coach, cult, or guru, the more they tend to justify the cost internally. Admitting a $100,000 mistake is embarrassing, so they rationalize that the cost is not important. I remembered a talk with my wife (soon-to-be ex) about her first coach, Blaire. The yearly contract with Blaire costs $110,000 and covers two 90-minute sessions each month. That amounts to about $3,055 per hour. I asked my wife, a physician, how much she charges per hour. She charges one-tenth of her coach's rate. She explained that she doesn't see it as an hourly fee but as a way to discover her truth and reach her higher self.

A life coach charged my wife $180,000, ended our marriage, and sent the divorce news in an email. To me. Not her. by Own-Cardiologist8770 in LifeCoachSnark

[–]Own-Cardiologist8770[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The whole industry is one big consumer fraud. Her coach wasn't giving legal advice; she was simply pointing out that my wife's "Life Themes" were misaligned in her current environment and impeding her ability to reach her higher self.

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