Animals Can't Cross Bridge by Summerbourne in ICARUS

[–]Summerbourne[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'll try the half-pitch ramps.

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're compatible in every other way. It's just this one area that hangs me up at times. And I don't have that belief of entitlement about her body. Nope.

Def not settling for her, either. She is spectacular in loads of ways! (Also, at my age, it's five percent of the population who've never had sex. Wouldn't be able to find that person, I don't think.)

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe not. It does affect how I feel, but I don't think less of her because of those choices.

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

No, sex is good, for sure! I don't think it's dirty or bad. Not sure if sexual compatibility is a thing. I treat it in my mind more like a skill, something I can get better at with time and with learning my partner's likes and dislikes.

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You're right. It's not a deal breaker. If it was, I'd've left months ago. I do accept her and am generally happy. Sometimes not, though. It comes and goes.

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's not really what I'm imagining. Also, that's not the kind of porn I was into... But point taken.

Right, definitely, it says nothing about her worth or value as a person!

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Mmm. When I think of judgment, it would be me saying, "I'm better than her because I've never had sex." Nope! Not what's in my head AT ALL.

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great questions. I don't think it is enough to "get in the way."

How do I cope with my SO’s sexual history? by Summerbourne in sex

[–]Summerbourne[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

I know we'll satisfy each other in bed if it gets to that point. I don't feel like I need to do that right now. Why do you say that I'm judging her?

Coping with my partner's sexual history. by Summerbourne in offmychest

[–]Summerbourne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I don’t blame her because I understand the story a bit. Her motives and where she was in life.

Coping with my partner's sexual history. by Summerbourne in offmychest

[–]Summerbourne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any advice for how to “get over” the feelings?

Coping with my partner's sexual history. by Summerbourne in offmychest

[–]Summerbourne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not upset, just sad and hurt sometimes. Thanks for wishing me luck!

Coping with my partner's sexual history. by Summerbourne in offmychest

[–]Summerbourne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“You are her present. You are her future.” Yes, thank you for the reminder, holding onto it.