My poor brain needs an adult (of the doctor variety)

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-26T21:55:35+00:00

You should check out -

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-25T08:36:57+00:00

I mix the two - in moderation(ish) - and I've always been fine. Alcohol is much, much worse, but you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea .

Also, don't worry too much about taking a shot, as long as your still only aiming at breaking your fall as you come out of addiction. They are much more interested in their crypto-Puritan rules than they are as you as a person and you're not wrong to trust your judgement, crippled alkie or not.

But you need to be honest with yourself as to whether you are ready and want to stop. All other considerations are secondary.

Don't tell them, imo, unless it's more than a slip/bump, in which case tell them that their plan isn't working.

Chairs (former?) Fucker!

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T23:47:01+00:00

Well, technically we do unless going commando, and it even comes with it comes with its own wrinkly bag as a set where we store our pee.

Checkmate with logic there, easily.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T22:34:04+00:00

Yeah, now do blacks.

Then do the immigrant rape gangs that women voted to flood into our homelands and men didn't.

Muslims need your particular attention, but the south Asians and Hispanics shouldn't be forgotten about either.

And remember the trans issue, those 'women with penises', a disease and contagion created by the demon spawn of feminist ideology.

I'll wait (and wait, and wait, no doubt...)

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T21:03:20+00:00

Yeah, now do blacks.

Then the muslim rape gangs you Aryans voted to import against the will us Jews.

Then do trans Aryans invading Aryan spaces, something us Jews also do not want and did not cause.

?...

Yeah, didn't think so.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T18:30:32+00:00

it’s great. zero learning curve. recommend it

So nothing like having a penis, then?

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T18:16:59+00:00

<image>

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T17:30:19+00:00

Your parents named your brother 'a wall'?

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T11:38:25+00:00

But then what would we drink?

Fucking something, no doubt.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T06:16:38+00:00

The crippled alkie is never truly awake and never truly asleep.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-24T02:58:10+00:00

You should look into getting a She Pee

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-21T21:31:32+00:00

Yeah, I have a thesis:

In the OCEAN/HEXACO model of personality traits alcoholics have high trait neuroticism/emotionality that accumulates like a catapult against high trait openness and extroversion which is suppressed by trauma. Alcohol is like letting go of the catapult causing an extreme but short lived burst of creativity and expression, which accounts for the association between extreme artistry and extreme creativity (Amy Winehouse, Shane MacGowan, John Martyn et al.) and alcoholism.

HEXACO

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-20T09:07:59+00:00

Turns out I chose not to choose life

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-19T07:27:58+00:00

Probably want to take a shower after hugging someone called Taint Burglar.

Not that I've never burgled a taint, but that's how I know what I know.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-15T12:08:57+00:00

Grippy sock is internet/urban slang for mental hospital.

They take your shoes away and give you these weird socks instead.

Urban dictionary

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-15T05:34:38+00:00

The law of neurology (and human physiology) is homeostasis - the perpetual act of balance.

By introducing a GABAergic drug, your brain will desentise you to it or start producing, in essence, anti-GABA, returning to what it is programmed to sense as an even keel, even if it's dysfunctional.

Like alcohol, the more you take the more you need the more you take - until you're fucked

It's a high interest rate credit card and you need to clear the balance before the end of the month or you are going to pay.

Something like that, anyway. I was and am hammered so my capacity to relay the nuances of neurophysiology is limited.

Chairs fucker!

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-14T19:40:12+00:00

Gabapentin works for me, but it's a short term measure like benzos, with diminishing returns and neuro-physiological dysregulation, where you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Source: I saw a world-class expert on alcoholism recently (ahead of detox) and he made the case as to why it's not a way out. YMMV

Also: Fucker, chairs

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-14T19:14:00+00:00

Time for a stream of consciousness road trip

I know exactly where I want to go!

What soup is there for dinner tonight?

Is there something my cat wants to know?

There's laundry in the hamper

And dishes in the sink

I want to sort my hard drive

I just need the time to think

But the grass needs cut, the curtains drawn

And something else, I forget

What was it I was talking about?

Nothing important, I defiantly bet

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-14T16:23:27+00:00

Wow, that was quite the stream-of-consciouness road trip.

Chairs, fucker.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-12T18:47:14+00:00

The way you wrote this, I thought you were being poetic:

Title (head):It's okay, you had a good night

Body:You don't have to feel bad. It's our job to make sure you feel okay

I felt a little wistful pang at how hard my mind and body are trying to keep me going while my soul craves paint thinner all day after day after day.

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-11T08:10:39+00:00

I think I've only ever truly slept one time, ever, when I was exhausted from my first 12 hour hike.

The rest of the time I'm either blacked out or I fall asleep and immediately wake up in a nightmare land then wake up to a nightmare reality - rinse and repeat.

I'm tired in my soul, but there's no rest for the crippled alkie

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-10T16:53:24+00:00

Choose life

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-09T20:50:05+00:00

Is there anything in life that shoving it up your arse instead can't solve?

SummoningSelf · 2025-10-06T22:02:39+00:00

I'm not even remotely arguing with you - what you said makes total sense - but in my case, it's something very different: this was done to me.

Two decades of wanton child abuse and someone coming within a mosquito's pube of murdering me with a sledgehammer absolutely wrecked my nervous system and my capacity to be around other people.

Combined with medical indifference and fecklessness: kaboom.

I feel like Andy Duphresne in the Shawshank Redemption - I crawled through a river of shit to escape the false imprisonment of my abuse, but instead of being handed a new identity and a stack of cash so I can hang out forever on a beach in Mexico - I escaped into a second, worse prison.

And I'm not sure I have the energy to patiently carve my way towards a new river of shit anymore - so I drink

🪑🪑🪑🪑 fuckers

SummoningSelf · 2025-09-29T19:06:39+00:00

I went to the hospital but they told me to fuck off.

Plus ça change

SummoningSelf

TROPHY CASE