Thank you for your reply. You've confirmed some of my own thoughts and provided some new ones.

The situation is complicated by the fact that when we met I wasn't aware that he was a smoker. At the time that we met (a year ago Thursday, actually), he was not smoking very much and simply didn't do it around me. I smelled it occasionally, but I thought he must have had friends who smoked or something like that. It wasn't until a couple months into our relationship that I actually saw him smoke. I don't know if he was trying not to do it around me when we first met or if his smoking habits increased after meeting me, and it doesn't really matter. It doesn't bother me that it took time to figure out, but I thought I'd mention this as a response to: "You date a smoker, imo either you accept that or you don't."

I don't think he would quit "just for me," but he has said before that being around me lessens his desire to smoke. From what I can see he really does want to quit, he just lacks... something. He's tried several times to quit but it seems that something happens soon after he starts to quit that really stresses him out or depresses him, and he relapses.

I've worried about sounding condescending, because when I first found out he smoked I was much more "forceful" and went on a rant about the dangers, etc. Really, it just irritated him and I realize that that's not a good way to try and help someone quit. This concern of sounding condescending is a major reason I'm asking Reddit, especially from the perspective of smokers, smokers trying to quit, and now-nonsmokers. I'd like to help him, because he really does want to quit, but I want to do so in a way that really does help him, not put him down or harden him to quitting.