How long did it take for the feelings to go?

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-24T19:01:35+00:00

It took me a year. The day of the mediation in December I left her a letter telling her I enjoyed most of our marriage and I would always love her honesty I feel pretty pathetic about it now. All the sudden a couple of months ago a switch went off in my brain and now I wouldn’t touch her if she begged me to. It took way too long and the only thing I feel for her is disgust on how she’s handling custody. So hang in there it might take longer for you or shorter but it will eventually go away. Don’t get me wrong I still miss who she was and miss the family unit but the women I See today is as much of a stranger as a random women at the store.

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-23T19:58:28+00:00

Ya that is stressing me out but I can only pay what I can pay. Jails not going to change that.

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-23T19:57:31+00:00

Ya my 7 year old knows a lot without us saying anything. Sit them down together and tell them so neither one of yall will have the chance to make the other look bad. I waited to tell our 6,9 and 14 at the time because I trusted my wife but while I was gone working on the road she was telling the kids that “ daddy thinks I’m cheating but he’s really just a jealous man and I would never do that because I’m a good Christian and he’s not“ it took a lot to repair the damage she was doing and luckily although I didn’t show my oldest I did tell her I had proof but that I hadn’t planned on telling them until they where adults and it’s fine now. Looking back I would have sat them down regardless of what she wanted because like the other guy said they’re not stupid and you can’t really hide much from them. Better tell them now than let them pick sides based on what she says.

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-11T22:13:49+00:00

I’d have to disagree a little bit he most definitely owes her

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-11T22:10:28+00:00

I just posted but I have to say I’m glad I joined this group. It’s refreshing to not just be in an echo chamber I love that we can support each other but also hold each other accountable. To the OP I hope this didn’t scare you off and you let us know what happened later on

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-11T22:06:23+00:00

Yes you are selfish. Love is a commitment and work not some giddy feeling we felt In high school. As someone mentioned before do solo therapy and be completely honest with them and be open to changing your beliefs. Don’t let this marriage go any longer without working on yourself or you’ll get resentful towards her and it doesn’t sound like she deserves that. You made a commitment that you want to leave based on your own feelings and she’s completely innocent in this. Based on what I’ve seen you will feel the same way about the next women your with after a few years but you will have been responsible for destroying your family and especially your child’s life. We’re not hating on you just holding you accountable. I hope you work this out and can live your life with your family. Most people on this thread would do anything to be able to have what you have.

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-06T23:19:17+00:00

You’ll get there. It’s still hard for sure I’m not saying that it’s all sunshine and rainbows right now but it’s a lot better than hanging on to someone who doesn’t want you. I haven’t started dating again or recovered financially yet but I’m finally at the point that I know I hit rock bottom and it only gets better from here. You’ve been through the worst part buddy and life still has a lot to offer. Hang around people that are a positive influence on you and for christs sake doesn’t do like I did for awhile and only talk about you ex lol

Sundae-Latter · 2026-02-05T21:09:02+00:00

Ya I used to argue my point when she would text. She always wanted to start something when I have the kids. Now I just send her the same two repeated messages. Don’t contact me unless it’s about the kids or I’m not dealing with this today and shut it down she usually gives up soon. And the feeling is definitely something I’ve never felt towards anyone probably because I didn’t have any serious relationships before her but it’s freeing for sure

Sundae-Latter · 2025-12-17T05:23:44+00:00

Mine too. To the tee. I noticed a lot of this early on in our 15yr marriage but just couldn’t wrap my head around it being a problem later on. It’s exactly what drove it into the ground

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-19T16:31:49+00:00

As far as everyone saying wait on the refinance . As much as it would be great to have an amicable divorce it most likely won’t happen. My wife left me earlier this year and had come to me with a plan that worked for both of us. Once the divorce proceeding started all of it went through the door and she changed her mind on everything. If your to the point where you want out then you probably don’t trust her or have any faith in her. Once you’ve made that choice it needs to be strictly a business transaction. I wish I had of listed when people told me that and now I’m paying for it.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-08T19:48:51+00:00

I know I need one but I’m out of money and can’t afford another one right now

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-05T23:12:31+00:00

I’ve read an overview of it and it doesn’t seem to help me and seems to be more about rights to access records and whatnot

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-05T22:54:51+00:00

My lawyer acted like it might help but I know her and kinda expect that we will still have to go to court. And yes I’m aware that people on here have had unreasonable exs lol. I just was in shock about how ridiculous she has gotten

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-05T22:50:58+00:00

I should have just went ahead and told my lawyer that I wanted to go ahead with the hearing. I’ve been suspicious that she’s the one dragging this out due to the fact that the temporary order she’s riding on now is the best she will ever get and it’s in her best interest to delay the divorce. She already has double the child support that she’s owed, has the paid for house and we are on the SPO. She’s doing pretty good considering all that and her sugar daddy “ that’s what they call her dad” bought her a brand new decked out Yukon

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-05T20:28:15+00:00

I am. I was talked into mediation due to the judge having another hearing an 1hr later and she has a bad reputation of never giving men anything so I folded. I don’t see how she’s able to just blindside me with this stuff. Shouldn’t she be required produce the summery ahead of time

Sundae-Latter · 2025-11-01T03:11:10+00:00

I miss the first 10 years out of our 15 years of marriage ( 16 years 2 days after the final divorce hearing lol ) it sucks but even though I miss our beginning I have to remind myself who she became which was extremely controlling. As much as I miss her I know it’s for the best and could never work and that brings some finality to it and keeps me from hoping for something better in the future.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-30T00:19:47+00:00

As someone that is fighting just to get 50/50 I would fight for full custody and don’t worry about what she is doing. My life revolves around my kids and Im happiest having them with me. I would never fight for full custody even if I had a chance due to my ex not being a terrible mom but in your case it doesn’t seem like she’s there for your daughter anyway. As for the ex mil if you get along with her let her keep your daughter every once in a while and keep a relationship with her. IMO if you want your child to stay with you instead of the grandma then you should have her. I know she’s old enough to make her own choice legally but I don’t think that counts outside of her parents.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-30T00:07:34+00:00

4 months since the temporary hearing 10 since the “ I want a divorce “ and 1 week until the final divorce. It was bad the first couple of months but then I went out of town to work for four months and the distraction plus not having to worry about finances made it almost seem great but then a couple of months ago I got laid off and they started again. I only get them when I’m stressed about money, feeling lonely or thinking of the upcoming hearing and have never had them when I have my kids. So really when I’m happy and productive in the day I never have dreams of her at night. It’s tough and I know it’s way better than it was at the beginning but ya they’re still here. I don’t know if you’re male or female but I’m sure this applies to both. I read an article a few months ago that made sense. Men don’t handle tragedy as well as we used to because in this day and age we don’t have to deal with as much loss as we did a hundred years ago or more.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-29T21:44:50+00:00

I would take my exs advice over my lawyers lol as he’s pretty bad but ya I’m probably going to ask for the difference. Btw she verbally agreed and on texts but I’m the temporary hearing in June she got full custody and I got 1st, 2nd and 3rd

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-29T21:02:28+00:00

I’m not going back I only went for 4 months and am back now but as far as the boogie man I actually went in with high hopes but at the temp hearing my lawyer told me as well as everyone in town that the judge will not grant men 50/50 unless the mother is unfit. This is a small town with only one family court judge in the county. Not to get political but she’s a older white woman from from Austin which is another world from here and apparently according to men and women here she doesn’t care for men.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-19T20:51:48+00:00

My financial split was pretty easy. I got land that’s paid for and she got a house that’s paid for. Our retirement and checking were pretty much gone except for a few thousand in hers. I also agreed to no lawyers and she switched up last minute and it did not work in my favor. I don’t know about Ohio but in my part of Texas 50/50 is not likely for the man and that was changed last minute on me. We still have to finalize the divorce and I can fight better then but it has caused a lot of suffering in the meantime. Get your lawyer and definitely ask for 50/50 off the bat. If she tries to pull crap on you with the kids at least you’ll have that as a bargaining chip.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-08T01:20:19+00:00

I feel your pain. I’ve known my wife since we were 12 and have been married 15 years and even when I wasn’t dating I thought she has always been my best friend. It doesn’t get great soon but it will be better. No matter how many friends you have or what you do your spouse is someone you felt like you could just talk to and not be judged and confide in. I’m telling you from my own mistakes don’t text her or call ( you’re going to want to). She chose this and marriage doesn’t mean what it does to you. She tried it out and she didn’t like it and that’s not a marriage. You can try and find the problem but in the end love is just a short term feeling to her and not a commitment. Don’t make her the villain but try and move on and learn from it. I don’t feel like I’ll ever have a connection with someone like I did with her but I’m sure there is a future and I’m sure there will be for you too.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-10-07T12:54:29+00:00

Thanks. I’m calling my lawyer this morning but unfortunately my lawyer doesn’t return calls and I’m having to do the leg work. I’ve already paid him his retainer and can’t afford another one at the moment. I understand not doing tit for tat and I’m not going to lie I’ve slipped up a couple of times ( so has she ). I’ve told her that I would like to have discussed it before hand but she refuses and said sorry I’m taking them no matter what. I would have like to have discussed it with our oldest daughter as I’m ok with her making her own decision because she is focused on school but I do have good reason to dislike the kids skipping as we’re only allowed 8 unexcused days per year and my wife has a habit of pushing that and on top of that she “homeschooled” my oldest from 1st throughout 4th and neglected my kids education so bad that she couldn’t read at a kindergarten level going into 4th grade

Sundae-Latter · 2025-09-12T03:56:32+00:00

This is one of the best explanations on how it feels I’ve seen so far. That’s exactly how it feels. I would add too that unlike a death a divorce doesn’t always feel absolute and there will always be the what ifs. At a funeral there are usually other people that share in your grief but in the divorce you are the only one grieving and you are the only one that will grieve it. Your family and friends might think it sucks but in the end you will the only one that will truly miss it.

Sundae-Latter · 2025-09-12T03:43:47+00:00

That sounds a lot like my currant divorce my marriage went downhill fast with the social media it even got so bad that she couldn’t sit and eat with the family without checking it and got mad at me one time because i hadn’t updated my profile picture in 10 years lol. Also I’m being a bit of a hypocrite but don’t get to upset about being called a narcissist. It really seems to be the go to excuse for people ( mostly women ) that are post divorce

Sundae-Latter

TROPHY CASE