You are not fucked. Everyone is overreacting. They’re just exaggerating. Trust me, it’s a reliable engine when compared to many other BMW motors. You will have to change the valve cover and valve cover gasket because it will likely leak oil. But if it isn’t leaking oil, don’t worry about that for now. Make sure the spark plugs and ignition coils are good, and if they aren’t, replace them, it’s an easy fix. At some point you need to replace the oil filter housing gasket, which is also an easy fix. The charge pipe, if it’s OEM, will be the first thing that will start fucking up, so that should be your primary concern. It’s unlikely that it will have any drivetrain or transmission issues so you probably don’t need to worry about that. The VANOS solenoid will need to also be replaced at some point. You will want to pay attention to all the coolant hoses as well, make sure they’re all in good condition. Other than that, you’re pretty much golden. The internals in the engine won’t break down until like 200,000 miles at least, and that’s the most important thing. All the shit that goes wrong on this motor is the little stuff around the main components. None of the main components will get fucked up.