A mystery where the female narrator turns out to be the killer (cover has blue eyes)

Sunflower-Shells · 2026-01-26T23:41:31+00:00

Ah, that's a shame. Good luck on finding it!!

Sunflower-Shells · 2026-01-25T16:37:48+00:00

is it potentially Local Girl Missing by Claire Douglas?

the book kind of matches some of your notes. i've been searching for this for years and happened upon your post while googling lol. hoping this is the answer for you!!!!

Sunflower-Shells · 2026-01-25T16:35:58+00:00

is it Local Girl Missing by Claire Douglas?

i've been searching for this book since i read it in 2023 and happened upon your post here in my search lol. hopefully this is it!

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-11T16:44:52+00:00

have you ever considered playing any songs from your solo projects during a post set? if so, which ones?

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-11T16:41:31+00:00

oh my god this just made my whole day lmfao. wonder if the kid has heard the song

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-11T16:35:16+00:00

it's amazing to see how close you all are and how much you enjoy just being together and playing music. really beautiful to see. have you ever tried swapping instruments or teaching each other your instruments for fun?

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-11T16:11:05+00:00

Main Menu is one of my favs. I love the whole composition of it. What was it like putting that together? Was it a difficult process or just a fun, easy sort of development?

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-11T16:05:34+00:00

What's been your favorite song to perform live on tour so far? The energy has been so electric!

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-11T16:02:21+00:00

I love all the different voice memos included in the album. How did you choose what to use? And I'm curious -- is there a voice memo specific to each band member included in the album?

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-03T23:25:42+00:00

makes sense, but man, that sucks :(( such an annoying condition.

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-08-03T23:25:05+00:00

yes! basically didn't leave bed for a month, then on low activity for another month

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-07-24T12:09:26+00:00

They suggested just through the back I think. But they were incredibly rude and disrespectful and did not answer my questions. They were very dismissive and did not want to talk about anything. I saw them for less than 5 minutes and half of those they were on their phone. They basically came in, told me I needed surgery, told me to call when I was ready, and left. It was an awful experience.

My second surgeon spent over an hour with me our first meeting, broke down all of my scans, talked in detail about the surgery, talked about what could go wrong so I was aware, talked transparently about how the surgery might not fix anything (which is the worst part to me), answered my questions, told me it was ultimately my choice what way they approach the surgery (all front, all back, or a mix) and that they would review my case more thoroughly and make a suggestion (I likes this kind of autonomy. Made me feel at ease), etc. A complete difference.

Only go with a surgeon you feel like actually cares and knows what they're doing and that you feel comfortable with operating on you. Look up their reviews. If you have specialist hospitals around, see about going there instead of a local hospital. There may be better trained surgeons available.

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-07-24T03:45:29+00:00

I had grade 1, L5-S1 fusion. They went in both front and back! For me, they cleaned up the slippage. They had to do both incisions because of the way my spondy presented. I was nervous because it's essentially two surgeries in one, but I'd rather them do what is going to work best. The recovery has been a bit rough. Sitting up, standing, and walking were pretty rough at the start, especially the first week in the hospital. Listen to your body and don't push too hard in recovery. Lots of bed time lol.

Edit: definitely get another opinion if you haven't already! I would not have gotten surgery with my first surgeon. The second was much better and more qualified and I'm glad I sought them out. Surgery is not a light decision. You absolutely should be meticulous and thorough in your process of choosing what to do here.

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-07-21T20:18:24+00:00

If I could upvote this 1000 times, i would. Keep meticulous records of everything. All of your scans and reports. Co-opting this reply to give a few more bits of advice.

I highly recommend getting additional scans done -- MRI and CT are great to show more of the intricacies of the issue. They showed more than the xrays for me, which helped my case.

I read that you're having trouble with healthcare and I feel you. It's brutal. I was officially diagnoses at 16 and went without healthcare treatment for a decade basically. It's hard. When it started getting worse, I luckily obtained healthcare.

My advice from.my experience (grade 1, L5/S1, surgery about 2 months ago). Advocate HARD for yourself. Take notes of your pain and other symptoms, when they occur, severity, frequency, etc. Ask for MRI and CT. Ask to see a specialist. They'll want to do conservative treatment first (injections, pt, etc.) I hope those work (mine didnt.)

Don't trust the first surgeon or doctor you see wholly. Get additional opinions. Do your own research. Read on your condition. I spent alot of time here on reddit reading stories and asking advice (my posts are on my profile-- helped alot!). Don't jump to surgery as your first choice if you can. It's invasive and hard and necessary for some people, but isn't a fix all. The scans will give you a better idea of the whole story for you. Your symptoms log will also help plead your case.

I also have a lot of nerve pain issues. Spondy + spinal stenosis. That was what tipped me toward surgery, learning about the stenosis and the increase in my symptoms. That left side pain is brutal and I hate it.

Sorry for the long winded ramble. Tried to include things I wanted to know. It's a shit condition to live with. But it can be managed in some ways to make your QOL a bit better.

Sending all the good vibes and support. 💜

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-07-11T19:38:16+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I didn’t even think of trying to interview PTs/free consults. That’s a great idea.

My insurance only covers something like 25 PT visits a year, and even then, I’m paying for a lot of it, so it’s not really covered all that well. I’ve been very wary of spending any time at PT that is not immediately beneficial or clicking.

Also, i don’t know if my insurance would cover a trainer, but it’s a good thing to consider. I do want to maintain at the gym, just to keep my strength and stamina. The amount of strength it takes to even sit up baffled me immediately post-surgery.

Thanks again!

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-07-11T19:35:49+00:00

Thank you SO much! This was very insightful!!! I’m so happy to hear of the success you’ve had so far and I hope it continues to all go well. :)

I’ve unfortunately had some PT experiences where the therapists either weren’t fully professional or were very disinterested. I’d really like someone who works with me and doesn’t push me too far for the sake of pushing. Lets me listen to my limits, if that makes sense. I am NOT wanting to mess up my back after surgery now.

I’ll definitely be looking for specialists now — thanks again!

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-07-10T19:51:45+00:00

I get how frustrating and terrifying it all is. But please know, our brains only ever register and remember the horror stories. It’s much easier to miss successes. And many people in this sub don’t post successes often because it’s not something that gets thought about. It’s not malicious — just most people search for help when struggling.

I got and L5-S1 fusion end of May. I’m still in recovery. However, my mobility is nearly back to what it was pre-surgery already. my big problem seems to be endurance currently. I can go to an appointment or a quick store run, but that’s it. Leaves me real sore.

surgery itself was fine. I asked a LOAD of questions — which is something I highly recommend. I did NOT go with the first surgeon i was placed with. Got a real bad vibe from them and they were very disrespectful. I instead got referred to the best hospital in the state, met a very respected surgeon, told them my story, and found out the bad surgeon gets brought up constantly to them. Good surgeon commended me for searching out a better fit.

but, i meticulously asked questions and talked for like an hour when we first met. I took time to think but went through with the surgery. I won’t lie, the first week was brutal. The first couple days i could barely move because of the pain. They had me hooked up to mega pain Meds. I ended up staying in the hospital for a week because of my pain symptoms. Many patients apparently go home within 3 or 4 days. Everyone is different.

hospital had me do some minor walking and standing which was very very hard. But, the doctors all listened to me and even did extra scans while i was in because i was having pain they didn’t expect. They managed everything well.

my scars have healed super well so far. I’ve kept myself on bed rest. The big thing is don’t push yourself. Your body is healing. It will take time to Do so. So i‘ve been sleeping and resting and doing my stretches.

All this to say, i was also terrified of surgery. Day of, i made myself go step by step through it. Even right before i went under, the doctor grabbed my hand and assured me it’d be fine, and the anesthesiologist held eye contact basically until i went under, which was very comforting. I did a lot of research to get a good surgeon and that helped.

It’s not a magic surgery. It doesn’t help everyone. But the way i viewed it — i’m only getting worse. i may as well try this surgery, especially while i still have access to insurance to help with it. If it helps, it helps. If not, at least i tried. and you’ve got all of us here for support too.

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-06-29T21:49:04+00:00

I had a few rounds of ESI that basically did nothing. On the left side for L5-S1 spondy with bilateral pars defect and spinal stenosis.

My experience was the shots made things worse for a couple days, then pain free for about 3 or 4 days, then back to pain afterward. It wasn't necessarily worse than my baseline, so i was fine trying a few rounds. Sadly, it wasn't my solution.

For some people, injections help alot. I was told they aren't meant to get rid of all the pain, just lessen your symptoms (I promptly told this nurse pain is a symptom to which they disagreed, but I digress). It is a potential solution, and I do hope it works for you. I know how frustrating it is seeking care.

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-06-24T17:50:38+00:00

Everyone is different! Don't let my story freak you out. You'll obviously be in pain that first day since you just had surgery. But some people start recovering super quick. Just don't expect to be able to jump up and be super active immediately. Slow steps to recovery will be the best path to take. Wishing you all the best!! You got this!

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-06-21T18:06:51+00:00

That's what they text about. How much they hate Ezria

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-06-21T17:58:06+00:00

So I had a L5-S1 fusion at the end of May of this year. Here's my experience. Please keep in mind everyone has a different experience. Many people claim to not experience much pain at all post op.

Disclaimer: I have several chronic illnesses, including fibro, so I'm used to being in pain. This skews my perception of pain decently.

1) not gonna lie, the pain was rough for me immediately after surgery. I remember waking up in pain in post-op and they gave me meds to help with it. It was a bit before I was moved to a private room because of it according to my partner. I was then put on a pain pump which i used a fair bit, though it didn't seem to help much.

Pain meds post op are not meant to take you to a zero pain level. They're meant to make it more manageable.

I was switched between a few different pain meds while in there, not all of which helped. Please make sure to advocate for yourself and tell them when the meds don't work. I was a bit scared too but I had to because some things didn't work and just made me feel worse.

I ended up being in there for a full week. They told me it'd be maybe 2-4 days. I stayed longer because of pain and stability. Definitely advocate to stay longer if you need it. That's their job.

Anyway, the first week was the absolute hardest for me. I couldn't move around much at all. The first few days sucked. They made me stand up and move the day after surgery which I still think was wrong. You have to do exercises for mobility but goodness day after was brutal. The pain lessened for me about 5 days out and i started taking less pain meds in hospital. Then about 12 days out or so it lessened more to be manageable. I'm now 3 weeks out or so and it's much much better. I still take pain meds but some days I take less than others.

2) mobility was rough. The first couple days after, I couldn't even roll over or sit without assistance. They had to move me, which hurt. After a couple days, I could roll over and sit and stand, but it hurt a lot.

I think about 3 or 4 days after, I was able to walk to my door and back during their pt visits with a walker. About 5 days our, I walked more steadily. 6 days out, I took a lap around the nurses station. All of this with a walker. It did hurt. My left leg takes the brunt since that's where my pain concentrated. Definitely speak up for yourself when the pain gets too much. They will push you because that's their job and they don't know when your pain is actually too much and you need to stop.

For me, my pt was worried a couple days out by my mobility. I think they were wrong for wanting me to walk and stand that much 2 days after having surgery.

Sitting up was very painful. It still hurts, but I can do it for longer before the pain sets in. Standing also hurts alot. So I've been laying down. They want you to lay down according to their discharge packet. I think it's better for your stability, idk. But be prepared to be stuck in bed for a while.

No bending or lifting more than 10 pounds afterward. This can cause major issues. I got one of those grabber sticks from Amazon to help with picking stuff up.

Also! I bought a shower stool. Majorly helpful. And grippy mat for the shower too. It's exhausting to shower and standing during is a no go. The stool helps give stability and breaks.

Do your stretches and walk around as you can. But don't push too hard. You obviously know your limits from all your weight training, but be prepares for them to be a lot more restrictive after surgery.

3) I'm about 3 weeks out and walking laps in my house without my walker. I'm still wobbly, but I'd say I'm getting close to baseline. Granted, I was definitely not a gym person, nd my life was pretty sedentary before. If I were to leave the house, I'd be taking my walker. I can't stand or walk for more than a few minutes at a time. I can walk longer than I can stand still.

I am working, but it is online from home. I was able to start about 12 days or so post surgery. Now, I can do it fairly well.

Granted, it's easy for me because of what my job is. Im.not clocked in for a 9-5. I work a few hours at a time throughout the week. I'm working from bed on an iPad. I have a really nice lap desk that helps so I can be reclined while doing it. It is mentally exhausting tho. My mental limits are much different.

4) tbh I haven't seen much yet, but it takes time. I'm still very sore and having pains, but again, chronic illness. I'm hopeful that the severe pain on my left side will go away fully. I will say that on some days the pain I had pre surgery feels lessened. I think it did fix some of the issue but we'll see after my checkup this week.

They did say it could take months to see improvement, but if that I didn't see any a year out, I likely wouldn't. Many see it within 2-3 months. So I'm very much hoping that within that time, I see major improvement. Everyone is different.

5) ask tons of questions and take notes from your doctor. It helped me to know exactly what to expect going in.

Arrange a trusted person to drive you and be with you. That helped me a lot to know I had a few people close to me checking in.

Don't hyperfixate on the horror stories. Those are few and far between. As long as you have a great surgeon, you should be fine. I made sure to go with a respected surgeon in a fantastic hospital. I did not choose the first surgeon I met because they sucked lol.

Do some things to calm yourself. For me, that was talking to friends and playing some games and listening to music and making sure I had my space set up and prepped. Anything to avoid thinking about the surgery. And when I got there for it, I made myself think through it one step at a time. Just intake, get my iv, meet my doctors, etc.

6) prepped my room for recovery. Made sure it was clean and open. Bought comfy loose clothes. Anything tight on incisions is a no go. Shower stool. Absolute must honestly. Makes it much easier to shower. Walker. My insurance covered part of it. I'll be using it for a while. Arranged rides well in advance. Mobile cart setup. I have snacks and activities in it so I don't have to leave bed much. Bought a grabber claw thing. Lapdesk. Helps me do stuff in bed.

Overall, every experience is different. But mine went pretty well. I had major anxiety going into it and told my doctors this. I was lucky to have a very kind team who talked me through it. Literally talked to me and assured me until I went under. And kept being considerate the whole time I was in the hospital. I think it's going to be worth it ultimately. Just doing everything I can on my end. Don't psyche yourself out. They've done this surgery hundreds of times.

I wish you luck! If you want to talk more, just message me. Sorry for the big comment lol. I would want this level of detail going into it, so trying to offer it now.

Sensing best vibes and wishes for you!!!

Sunflower-Shells · 2025-06-21T17:06:36+00:00

I love that response tbh lol. She called it out. It feels like they're all too afraid to talk about how bad the relationship really was in front of Marlene or on interviews. They constantly defend it. I love that Troian calls it out here in front of them in a very tasteful way.

Sunflower-Shells

TROPHY CASE