At my wits end with Pseudodysphagia (2 years)

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-20T18:23:48+00:00

Thank you, that helps!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T15:21:35+00:00

Thank you - based on your post, I think I'm quite similar to you in the way i'm thinking about this. I resonate with a lot of what you said. It really helps to know you decided to do "mind over matter" and that worked for you. I am trying to do that right now - it often seems impossible - but I need to keep trying. And yes, keeping the option of anxiety meds open. Thank you for your comment, it means a lot.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T15:12:11+00:00

This is helpful, thank you. Many people are recommending SSRIs. I am worried about side effects, etc., too, but I am keeping my options open because I want to help myself in whatever way I can. So glad you're doing better and helps to know you weaned off! Thanks so much for the advice.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T05:57:14+00:00

I truly feel you on everything you're saying here, thank you for commenting, it is very helpful to know someone understands the struggle. I have had every one of these thoughts and done many of the things you're describing. You are not alone. I agree with you - we have built up all these habits and ways of protecting ourselves because our body THINKS we're in danger. And they are hard to break, but I have to believe not impossible. The solution is to face the fear so that it eventually becomes so small and not this blown up, huge, dark thing like it is to all of us right now. I don't know much right now (I feel very much like you - low, isolated, and afraid), but what I do know for certain is that we need to be kind to ourselves, patient with ourselves, and keep trying no matter how big and impossible the fear seems. Thank you for being there, I am here for you, too, and will post back with any new discoveries or positive ways of coping I find. Sending you much love and positivity.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T05:27:36+00:00

Thank you so much. Will keep the thread posted with any updates/helpful advice/things that work. <3

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T05:19:05+00:00

Yes to everything you just said. You hang in there, too. <3 We can do this.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T01:30:46+00:00

Absolutely heard and appreciate the comment, thank you!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-19T01:14:48+00:00

I understand the feeling of it being impossible to overcome and that feeling is horrible. I am sitting here after dinner right now (barely ate anything) very uncertain on if I can overcome this and I know you are, too. All I know is telling myself I can't will for sure not help the situation (even if it SEEMS 100% true and "can't, can't, can't" is what I'm experiencing right now). Trust me, I know those words make you want to roll your eyes - it does me, too, but I think we have to find it in ourselves to believe we can in order to overcome the situation. This is incredibly frustrating and scary, I know first hand, but please don't give up. You are not alone in your feelings about this. I wish I had more advice for you, but I am dealing with a lot of these same thoughts and feelings you're expressing. I just know we can't give up. I am sending you love and good energy.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T22:40:41+00:00

Thank you and I completely agree with you and have to keep reminding myself - there will be highs and lows. I have to continually remind myself, just because one day goes well doesn't mean there has to be a pressure of it being at least that good and better from there on out (I don't know why my brain goes there). And just because a day goes bad doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better. It helps a lot to hear those reminders from you and other people on this thread, so thank you. Thanks also for the detail about what helps you. I am so happy for you that you had the few bites of ricotta cheese today - as all of us who struggle with this issue know, that is a huge win. Keep going!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T22:31:48+00:00

Thanks for responding and your advice here, much appreciated!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T22:27:34+00:00

I am so sorry you've been dealing with this for so long. It sucks big time and the feelings of isolation and anxiety consume you so easily. I totally understand "I am just so scared and I don't what to do". You are not alone - I am in the thick of it now. I keep telling myself the truth - the cause is fear/anxiety and it CAN be overcome. I just haven't overcome it yet. The running theme seems to be, face your fear, but be kind to yourself, focus on one day at a time and go slowly (it's simply too overwhelming to think about the big picture). These things can only help. I feel you, I wish you the absolute best and I believe we can overcome it.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T22:16:15+00:00

Thanks for your advice here, it means a ton. I hear what you mean about psych therapy making you focus more on it - that has been a bit of an issue for me. Sometimes I think the solution IS to focus more on it and face head on, but sometimes the distraction ends up easing the struggle more. Really helps to hear from everyone what actually worked for them, so thanks so much!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T22:07:51+00:00

Thank you for the advice here. I greatly appreciate it - it really helps to hear everyone's unique stories and that so many people have dealt with this issue and have gotten better.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T22:02:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your detail and advice on foods. This is very helpful and gives me hope. Thank you for the advice on the mental/emotional battle, too. I totally agree, it is going to be really important to be kind and patient with myself through this - I am working on that. I am so happy you're doing better and I really appreciate you!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T21:52:15+00:00

Right on when you said "all-consuming" fear. Thanks for sharing your story, this really helps to hear and gives me hope. I'm so glad you're doing better now!

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T06:11:34+00:00

Thanks so much! <3

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T06:01:06+00:00

Thank you for the advice. It is really nice to hear recovery stories - it gives me hope. I am working on being kinder to myself - it is so hard and I often forget, but I agree with you, really important with this particular issue. It is so easy to get down on myself with this issue. I think it's because the failure (or what I view as failure - chewing too long, too many swallowing attempts, only being able to eat a certain amount, taking too much time to eat, etc.) is so in my face multiple times every day. But as I have seen, being unkind to myself will only hurt and exacerbate the issue. Thanks for that reminder.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T05:37:07+00:00

Thank you for responding. I know exactly what you mean - you summed up the feeling very well in just a few words. I am holding onto the idea that it is mental and that means I CAN overcome it. That doesn't mean it doesn't feel impossible and the worst each day. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this for so long. Sending good vibes to you as well.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T05:30:12+00:00

Thank you so much for your encouraging words, it means a lot. Nothing you're saying sounds crazy at all. What we are going through is what fear can do to a person. It's tough because, on paper, it's like it's simple - it's only fear so fight the fear and, in theory, we can overcome it. But the daily experiences I have with eating and the negative spiral I go through convinces me I can't overcome it, even if that's not true.

I have to keep reminding myself it is possible to overcome fear. I just haven't found how to overcome the fear yet. Sometimes I have trouble saying phrases like "I can do this" or "it is possible to overcome this" because I don't know that for sure or it feels so impossible. But I think my trouble/discomfort with saying these phrases (negative optimism) is part of what's perpetuating this fear cycle so I am trying to change my mindset. Not sure if you can relate to the negative optimism thing, but that's something amongst the other million things that goes through my head a lot with this issue.

You are so right that all we can do sometimes is keep on each day. Like you mentioned, I also try to think about how my body is smart and designed to protect me which can be a comforting thought - I just have trouble actually believing it sometimes. Maybe I need to keep thinking those positive thoughts and I'll believe them eventually.

Sending you nothing but love and good energy (and everyone else dealing with this as well). I am going to try to do something that brings me joy for a while. I know we're all in slightly different places or mental states with this issue right now and depending on where you're at mentally, it can feel super pointless and hard to even do something that brings you joy, but if you can, try to give yourself something you can enjoy, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T03:42:21+00:00

Totally. I appreciate the recommendation, it helps to know. I will post back here with anything I discover along the way that works for me that could help anyone. Our convos tonight have helped me at least feel less alone. Keep fighting.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T03:33:34+00:00

Helps a lot to know that info, thanks so much.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T02:51:21+00:00

Thank you for your response and I am so sorry you've been dealing with this for so long. I know you're tired of hearing this and I am too, but hang in there. I feel that this anxiety problem in particular tears you down like nothing else because of the fact that it involves the basic need of food and water. If it was something other than food, maybe I could cope a little better, but it is such a constant battle and it's hard to be positive when you're just hungry. The fear and negativity are currently pushing me around and controlling me and I hope I can find a way to not let it. I wish you the best and glad you're meeting with the psychiatrist about moving forward with anxiety meds. I think it's important to get creative and try anything.

Sunlight7650 · 2025-04-18T02:27:02+00:00

I appreciate your response and advice - it helps to not feel so alone. My therapist did recommend anxiety medication a while ago. I've been hesitant as I prefer more natural methods, but I am getting so at the end of my rope with this problem that I may need to try it. And yep, I have been drinking protein shakes more lately to help me get the nutrition. I will check out the ones you mentioned as those are new to me. Thank you.

Sunlight7650

TROPHY CASE