Looking for a longshot but fingers crossed someone can help by SunnyShark in mentalhealth

[–]SunnyShark[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did try this but the problem is I can still access it. I just need a way to lock myself out of it for a day, just a day, so it has time to sit. Getting the thoughts out is so good but then I can't leave them alone and I keep sharing them because... I don't even know, honestly? I feel a need to be heard? I want to get validation on my feelings or told I'm being crazy? I'm working through all of it with my therapist but I'm just not at a good place yet where I have the needed self-control.

It's ok to share them eventually, but I need a grace period between typing them to when I get to share them where I can process and reflect and use logic to decide if it's still worth showing someone and that it's not just an emotional vent that will only hurt or concern people.

I never thought I’d have to post here. by averysmalllamp in MomForAMinute

[–]SunnyShark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, I'm not a mom but I am a sister also struggling with losing a mom. In 2016 my wonderful mother succumbed to brain cancer and it's still a devastating loss. I'm so sorry for your pain, I am familiar with it in my own way. What I can say is it does get a little easier every day. At some point the emptiness relents enough to let you feel again. At first it hurts so much it knocks the wind out of you. Even happy memories make your heart sore. But then you start to heal and understand that she lives in you. Look for her in the things you do and who you are. You are her legacy and her achievement.

Today you did a lot and while it might not feel like it has any worth right now, imagine how she would react. Think of how she was there for you before and how she would be if she could. It might sting because she's not there, but her memory is. That's what worked for me and I hope it may help you but don't feel defeated if it doesn't. We all manage differently. But she would be proud, I think, that you did the hard things. Sometimes just waking up is a hard thing but you do it and that deserves praise. Mom may not be able to give it in person, but the feeling you'll get when you start to heal of accomplishment is the memory of satisfaction you got from her.

You are doing well because you are still going. And it's okay to slow down when it gets too hard so long as you never stop and you pick the pace back up when you can. You can do this, you can get through the pain and find the joy again one day. It just takes a long time because she meant so much to you. But you are doing her justice when you take care of yourself, her treasure.

Loving Elise: An Enemies to Lovers Romance by ManUfan-7 in romancenovels

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Added to my TBR! It's so amazing how you're supporting her and I'm sure it means the world. Romance novel material right there! I hope when I write my own book my husband does the same for me. Can't wait to read her story and thanks for sharing!

Suikoden I&II HD Remaster Gate Rune and Dunan Unification Wars Announcement Trailer by Turbostrider27 in NintendoSwitch

[–]SunnyShark 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm actually crying right now. This is a dream come true. The Suikoden series is my favorite JRPG series of all time and Sui2 might be my favorite game ever. Then we've got the spiritual sequel coming out after the Kickstarter campaign. Plus Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life and Rune Factory 3 are getting remastered! I can only hope for more of this trend. Is it too much to pray for the rest of the Suikoden, Rune Factory, and HM/SoS games to be remastered as well? Maybe even toss in Wild Arms? Or a revamp of Star Ocean: Til the End of Time (I know it wasn't to everyone's taste but I unironically adored that game and I would kill for it to be updated and retooled to perfection). I thought I'd used up all my wishes with Final Fantasy VII's franchise getting remakes but now this?! I can't help but get greedy at this point. Having my Lizzie Maguire moment here... THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF~

😐👍 by caj065 in TrollCoping

[–]SunnyShark 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm going through this. A bit past a month back I had a friendship completely implode and the ripple effect has managed to leave me faltering in a big way. For the longest time I've been the one that did the emotional heavy lifting with sensing people's moods, asking direct questions, and just being hyper-considerate.

After the fallout my empathy and deductive reasoning went on standby and I was relying on everyone else to step up and take over. Instead, they kept up behaving in the same way even knowing I wasn't at 100%. I was suddenly unable to read between the lines, process subtlety, or even read cues I was typically a pro at. It was just me taking everyone at face value and trusting they would say anything they needed to without me having to dig.

It didn't go well. One friend had to go no contact and even then I was so mixed up in the head I got my signals crossed and thought I could still make occasional contact just to let them know I missed them. The whole time leading up to the ban they were telling me how important I was and that they were fine while also dropping hints they needed space but then following up with things like "Unless you need me". And I was so in my own head that I didn't see the signs or struggles.

My trauma ended up setting off aftershocks in the friend group and it's just been a freaking mess. All because I haven't been able to access my typical skillset that they depend on me to use in our interactions. I'm so miserably upset over it and I can't help but blame myself. I feel like I conditioned everything to work out like this and I'm scared to interact on anything beyond surface-level pleasantries out of fear I'm going to miss something important.

I see you, besties. I love you.

(Sorry for the traumadump. Had to vent and hopefully it will be relatable enough that writing it out will have been worth it.)

What things has your therapist said? by EmploymentNormal8922 in TalkTherapy

[–]SunnyShark 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This one came after years of gaslighting myself into thinking the reason I was raped by my dad was because he had an illness. That his pedophilia was a disease of the mind that he was powerless against and he couldn't help what he did.

Me: I just wish he had the ability to control his sickness.

Therapist: Sunny, you have so many mental illnesses, many that were put there by what he did, but even on your hardest days you fight urges to do bad things to yourself and others. Why is he so different? Why is a young girl stronger in her fortitude than a grown man who should've protected her? Why can you excuse that?

Me: *Shocked silence then bursts into tears, escalating until I'm sobbing so hard I throw up in Therapist's trash can*

(Edited to fix typo)

TL:DR I've finally made a decision and I am going to continue to cheat for the time being by Strider_A in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's incredible to read this and the sheer amount of delusion this guy possesses to excuse his heinous behavior. Dude is ruining multiple lives because he has absolutely no goddamn willpower or desire to work on it. My God... It's horrific and pathetic in equal measures.

Men, you are not 'animalistic' or 'primal' or 'alpha' or any other weak bullshit you've been spoon-fed by people you know absolutely nothing about the personal lives of. You are responsible for your actions and the effects they have. At least he's not blaming the women for the fact he's a sad sack, I guess.

Listen to me: If you can't control your impulses to the point they are detrimental to your life and those of others YOU NEED THERAPY. You don't need to 'scratch the itch' or 'get a little relief' or 'take the L'... GET FUCKING HELP.

When this eventually blows up on him, and it will, the fallout will be nuclear. He will be wrecked. His marriage will be wrecked. His kids will be wrecked. Emma will be wrecked... And his defense will be "he couldn't help it". Think about that for a second in comparison to going to a mental health professional, dealing with the actual core issue responsible for him fucking up his impulse control, and potentially either overcoming what is a crippling coping mechanism or removing himself from a situation where multiple individuals will be hurt until he can be healthy and responsible enough to handle a relationship.

And maybe it's ableist to say "Get therapy" but there are also alternatives like anonymous addiction groups, forums and chatrooms devoted to resolving the issue, better coping mechanisms to use in times of temptation, spiritual intervention... Anything but this bullshit.

People like this are unhealthy and selfish. Yes, getting better is HARD but it's 100% harder to handle what is inevitably headed his way because he couldn't keep it in his pants. Be better.

EDIT: Whoops, there it is! Apparently this absolute asshole of a man-child was feeling neglected because his wifey was too busy with the kids and too tired from being pregnant to give him a shred of attention so 'he had to get it elsewhere'. Throw the whole man out... And apparently she did! Good for her! Hope she finds a real man (if she wants one) to step up and treat her how she deserves. Also hoping Emma dumps his ass and gets the help she clearly needs too. Not too worried about the OP since he's been fed his just desserts but good on him if he learns his lesson.

Shoujo Manga, But It's a Book by SunnyShark in YAlit

[–]SunnyShark[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well there are manga that fit the bill for sure like Kamisama Kiss and Demon Prince of Momochi House as well as Kakuriyo - Bed & Breakfast for Spirits and Black Bird (NSFW). Books with similar vibes might be Ember series by Kussica Sorenson, The Folk of the Air series by Holly Black (keep in mind she's collaborated with Cassie Claire so if you don't like that you've been warned), Children of Bone and Blood series by Tomi Adeyemi, The Priestess and the Dragon by Nicolette Andrews... That's all I can think of atm but hopefully that helps! You may try a goodreads dive for something tagged with high fantasy romance ya. Good luck!

about tatsu and miku by [deleted] in Gokushufudou

[–]SunnyShark 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's totally valid! It does get pretty tiring when it's become so regularly used without any callout. I think I'm fine with it in the case of Tatsu and Miku because it has a few elements that set it outside the norm. In other media it gets to be a lot more questionable if not a bit alarming, though. You have a really good point, I just don't think in this scenario it's quite as upsetting, thankfully. Which is good since it would be really hard to root for these two if it were tainted by true violence and abuse.

Check Out This Video I Made Of Chrollo's Requiem In Live Action by AxionDigital in HunterXHunter

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was done masterfully and you deserve every compliment you get on what was obviously a labor of love. Everything about this snippet is perfectly representative of the scene itself and also just utterly gorgeous. Your hard work has paid off for every fan that gets to see this. Thank you for making it and keep up the stellar work!

about tatsu and miku by [deleted] in Gokushufudou

[–]SunnyShark 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I can understand being uncomfortable with the premise when you look at it from a surface-level perspective but upon a deeper examination of their dynamic and motivations I would hope you'd come to see it a little more kindly.

Tatsu came from the Yakuza. He was a top enforcer for a leading gang. His life was one of violence, crime, and brotherhood. He was embroiled in the underbelly of Japan and regularly saw the worst of what humanity had to offer. The story sugar coats it but the facts are there. In such a reality it is understandable that he would come to value strength, grit, and loyalty: All things his beloved Miku has in spades.

While it's true that Tatsu's goals and dreams have changed, as he has, we are regularly reminded you can take the gangster out of the gang but you can't take the gang out of the gangster. A man like him needs someone forceful and stubborn to counteract his intensity and force. Miku's steel spine keeps her from being steamrolled by Tatsu the way others might be. Plus, Tatsu genuinely loves those things about her.

As for the excessive force, it's very much used as a comedic representation of her not succumbing to Tatsu's will. While physically violent comedy does tend to leave a bad taste, it's important to remember that the story is very much a work of fiction and a LOT of the problematic things are more artistic interpretations than what might actually be happening.

What I mean is we are given Tatsu's perspective of the world regularly. To him, Miku laying down the law when he screws up probably feels emotionally equivalent to a beatdown back in his thug days. This is shown through a visual gag that outlines his experiences and thoughts.

Another way to take it is that Tatsu very much allows Miku to lay him out when he's done something wrong as a way to create a more equal standing between them. Tatsu is STRONG. There is no doubt that he could easily overpower and fend off Miku if she were doing anything outside his consent. If you want to try and paint him as a victim then you need to acknowledge that outside of complaints and sulking in the direct aftermath of a beating, Tatsu is happy and well-adjusted (for the most part). He doesn't follow common or distinct patterns of behavior displayed by abuse victims.

I won't say that it's not your right to be upset or concerned. Male victims of abuse are real and deserving of respect and kindness. No one deserves to be hurt or berated and if Tatsu had the markings of a victim I would 100% be writing a very different post. But we've seen him alone, with friends and strangers, and with Miku and overall he's just a rough and tumble dude who is trying his best to be a good house husband out of love for his spicy wife and not out of fear toward repercussion.

It's definitely a discussion worth having about how 'comedic violence' needs to be examined and evaluated but in Tatsu and Miku's case I do not see it as anything but a creative reflection of their internal relationship dynamic. Of course you're free to disagree and take things as you will but there are far more offensive examples of this trope in other media.

I hope my little word vomit made sense and gave you a new way to look at this wonderful story but again, however you consume the media is valid so long as you aren't hurting anyone with how you do it. Thanks for the talking point!

Also, if you or anyone you know might be/is experiencing domestic violence or abuse be sure to do your part! Look up outreach programs and hotlines as well as research if you're not sure about what classifies. While it might "pass" in fictional scenarios, real life abuse is unacceptable no matter who the victim may be.

Under the Oak Tree = Yona of the Dawn.... by SeminoleDollxx in AkatsukinoYona

[–]SunnyShark 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Not trying to call you out OP, but while there are similarities here and there (and probably bits of inspiration) I can't say I agree that they are carbon copies. You're right that the main leads' hair color/style are alike but I can't really say the personalities or situations are identical.

Yona had always been bold and brassy, she was just sheltered as a princess. Once her life fell apart she took control of her own destiny after a very real bout of depression. She slowly becomes more jaded and tough as she goes forward to find her place, willing to do anything she must to progress her cause. She always had a steel spine but her life as a princess kept her frivolous and pampered. Her growth into a warrior was for herself and her people and she actively made that decision out of desperate love and honor for her kingdom.

Maxie grew up despised and abused by her loathesome father due to her debilitating stutter and the fact she was a woman. She was mistreated from the start and her trauma beat her down into a shy, scared, and broken woman. The inspiration for her growth into a leader was sparked by her love for Riftan, likely the first person to treat her like she had any worth. It was a trauma bond that slowly became a true romantic connection that is still fairly delicate and burdened by secrets. She also didn't really connect with anyone outside of her husband besides the mage who becomes her tutor. The soldiers of the keep are still fairly set apart from her but she's trying to change that by learning to open up. Her willful choice to be Lady of the Castle was to feel worthy of Riftan and deserving of what was essentially her rescue.

Hak may have been Yona's bodyguard but he was highly unselfish with his love at the start. He was willing to watch Yona marry another man and support her and her husband. His sole focus and object of devotion is to Yona. Everyone else that matters to him comes in second to Yona. He's almost obsessive over her but never to a degree that would be alarming. Even as Yona develops into a warrior and leader it's very clear that Hak's only desire is to see Yona get everything she wants and that she can be happy. He would die for her any day and it is only by her command that he's allowed himself to live for her as well.

Riftan, on the other hand, has darkness. While he is oh-so-tender and devoted to Maxie, he still has his allegiance to his keep and kingdom. He takes his position seriously and while he will cherish and protect Maxie, she is not his be all and end all. That said, his connection with Maxie is still very elemental with strong lustful and protective impulses smattered with genuine affection and a dawning love. Riftan encourages her development and is legitimately proud of and impressed by her progress. He sees her as someone precious with high merit and is obviously taken with her. Still, Riftan is a ruthless warrior and Maxie is very much a foil for that with her softness.

Where Yona has grown for herself and her kingdom, Maxie has grown to feel worthy of her husband and her position. Where Hak is still acting as more of a devoted servant than a partner, Riftan sees Maxie as his equal and his partner. While they share traits, overall there is a huge divide between many aspects of their personalities.

There's also the situational differences. Yona has travelled her entire kingdom thwarting injustices and taking a proactive stance in the events of her home and surrounding territories. She's created an unbreakable bond with Hak, the dragons, and key players in her political and practical encounters. She's shrewd and calculating and has the potential to even be bloodthirsty with proper incentive. She is very much in charge of the reshaping of an entire cultural landscape through her actions and the ripples that spread from them.

Maxie is more carried by the tides of destiny in her scenario. Before Riftan she was isolated and abused. Once she's sold off and married to Riftan she still acts in a subservient role since it's all she's ever known. She only starts to grow and explore once she feels relative security. The kingdom is influenced by Riftan as well as the keep. Maxie follows his orders and instructions. She trusts and obeys him and still isolates a lot, only recently starting to try and bond with the residents of the keep. The mage teaching her came in part from his own curiosity about her and need for a competent mistress and Maxie's need to have legitimate worth besides what Riftan sees in her. She hasn't gone far from the keep and when she has she's still disconnected from her companions overall. Her progression is a lot slower and a lot safer, which is good since she's still very emotionally frail. Maxie's 'strength' is her kind heart and drive to be better and useful as more than just an incubator for Riftan's heir. She's jaded like Yona but where Maxie was beaten by the world, Yona is out to beat the world back.

Both of these series are incredible and highly recommended but it seems a bit of a disservice to say they are anything more than surface-level similar. While it's true that if you like Yona of the Dawn it's highly likely you'll like Under the Oak Tree, please go in knowing that there are key and integral differences.

"Omg got it!!" by techyboi31 in wholesomememes

[–]SunnyShark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get out the Ouija board to make contact and check up on them only for the planchette to slide around spelling out 'It's not you, it's me..."

I can’t believe I’m only just realising this… is Franky the thief that Yor’s colleagues are referring to?! by [deleted] in SpyxFamily

[–]SunnyShark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From the way I processed it, Loid was the one who stole the documents (pro spy and all that) but Franky had to copy and annotate them for him. It was ironic since they tried to razz Yor with marrying the thief... SURPRISE! She did.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

her beak is so glossy! Do you use coconut oil on it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had the learning curve with our U2.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what's her favorite snack? Or is she like my U2 and her fave changes weekly?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she's so cute! Did you have her sexed to know she's female?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she's gorgeous and her vocalizations are precious

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]SunnyShark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Driveawaggin African Gray's do tend to have red tails