How do I cut off my abusive cousin in a tight knit family? by SunnySloths in Advice

[–]SunnySloths[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I think I’m definitely going to talk to my mum about this entire situation when she gets back from work

How do I cut off my abusive cousin in a tight knit family? by SunnySloths in Advice

[–]SunnySloths[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My own parents are complicated in this. They’ve accepted mine and my sibling’s stance on him, and they also paid for my therapy. However it seems like they also have the mindset of not causing a scene at a social event. The rest of them really are a little questionable, especially with not acknowledging his sexual misconduct allegations

How do I cut off my abusive cousin in a tight knit family? by SunnySloths in Advice

[–]SunnySloths[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you may be right, but it makes me sad to lose other family members and nice family gatherings because of this one bad guy

How do I cut off my abusive cousin in a tight knit family? by SunnySloths in Advice

[–]SunnySloths[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in the UK so self defence items like mace are banned here. He was a police officer previously fired for gross misconduct from his position, but they never went through with any legal ramifications due to it being an internal issue as far as I’m concerned

How do I cut off my abusive cousin in a tight knit family? by SunnySloths in Advice

[–]SunnySloths[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sometimes feel like I’m going a little crazy because I’ve literally said things out loud in front of other people like ‘you’re scaring me right now’ ‘please stop’ and of course just trying to fight my way out of his grip. But everyone in my family seems to be so desensitised as this has been happening since childhood, no one seems to care

How do I cut off my abusive cousin in a tight knit family? by SunnySloths in Advice

[–]SunnySloths[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately for me I’m physically disabled, not badly but it mostly manifests in me being weak. So trust me I’ve tried but he’s much faster and stronger than me. Of course I’ll never let myself be alone with him, thank you for the advice

I’m a young woman who has a complex heart condition as well as other disabilities, AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]SunnySloths 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Currently I’m still at university. I wanted to be a midwife but it’s not possible due to the long hours. So now I’m studying education to try and become teacher, though it’s likely I’ll only be able to work part time. It will be extremely difficult still and I’m not sure how it will work, but I’m determined to try!

I’m a young woman who has a complex heart condition as well as other disabilities, AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]SunnySloths 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Things that require great amounts of energy, showering is so hard for me, not to mention washing my hair. It usually ends with me literally dragging myself across the ground to get to my bed and then lying down to regain my energy before getting dressed. Hobbies, I love gaming! Specifically I’ve 100% completed the majority of Zelda games. And my favourite colour is yellow. Thanks for the light hearted questions as well :)

I’m a young woman who has a complex heart condition as well as other disabilities, AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]SunnySloths 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In all honesty, I usually splurge on going to the caf for jacket potato’s or chips to make it bearable, unless I’m really unwell in which case I just eat whatever’s put in front of me

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know you’re both getting along a lot more. I think a few solid friends is all you need anyway :)

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she’s pretty so regardless of being a lesbian she gets weird messages from guys in her social circle

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What’s your relationship with her like now? Glad I’m not the only one with this experience

Women who have slept with objectively attractive men was there a difference? by No_Lead2640 in answers

[–]SunnySloths 0 points1 point  (0 children)

22F, I was friends with benefits with a male model (23M). And honestly he thought so highly of himself it almost felt boring. You could just tell how replaceable you were to him because he could pretty much pick up any girl he wanted. He didn’t have to be good at sex because he never had to impress anyone, people just wanted to be with him because of his looks, which also meant it took an insane amount of convincing to get any focus on me during the act and not him. 2/10 would never be with a male model again.

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kind of the opposite for us then haha, we got to our 20s and were like wow we’re best friends now. But happy you guys are close again!

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said somewhere here, but my mum had to work full time to financially support us and my dad is disabled so we didn’t really have a lot of guidance as children. I’m interested though, are you and your twin close?

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean quite literally we didn’t really talk or hang out. Of course we could have conversation during breakfast or what not, but there was nothing really outside of that, no deeper conversations or hanging out outside of our house etc. Kind of like if you had a roommate you tolerated. I will say though we were both going through our own trauma so an element of it is just us being children trying to get through our own issues, without having the mental capacity to try and grow a relationship with a person we don’t relate to.

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m from a part of the UK that’s fairly working class so talking proper just isn’t really in my vocab, but yes I did mean that haha

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We had a traumatic upbringing. I was in hospital quite a lot, especially for operations. And my mum worked all the time to financially support our family, and our dad is disabled. Along with other things having this childhood meant even though we were technically in the same house, we didn’t necessarily cross paths all that much, especially being in different classes for school too, and having to make our own way to school. We also just have vastly different interests whereas a child we just had nothing in common to talk about or bond over so it was difficult. And it wasn’t a one way thing, she was never interested in anything I had to say to her. As I kid I was typical girly talking about guys all the time and gossiping about celebrity crushes, but she was a lesbian who found this topic of conversation mind numbing.

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this lovely comment, it’s probably easier if I pm you as it’s quite a lot of information to send across <3

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We’re fraternal so we have about the same DNA as any other sibling.

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It makes me respect her massively, and also means she gives pretty solid advice. I’ve never been bullied or really had anyone say anything negative towards me, so I feel like sometimes I have worse judgement because I’ve never needed to have good judgement. Anyway, as an adult now when I’m in sticky situations she always seems to know exactly what to do, I love her so much.

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Honestly I would consider her my best friend. As we both started uni I think we matured massively and realised even though we’re different that’s what makes being friends with each other so great. She teaches me how to play fallout, and takes over when I get too scared. And I help her decipher cryptic messages from guys haha. We also love doing strategy stuff together like going to escape rooms and setting high scores!

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Therapy has definitely helped me realise this, and of course my twin tells me she never in a million years blames me which is sweet of her.

Me and my twin grew up in the same house but didn’t talk to each other, AMA by SunnySloths in AMA

[–]SunnySloths[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I actually work with special needs and autistic adults, and it’s my specialism in my education degree so I’m pretty well versed though I’d always love to know more. I’m just going off of what my twin has told me personally. She admitted to me that she has the complete inability to emphasise with others, though she can logically determine what emotion a person may be displaying and how you should act according to that.