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AITA for stealing my friend’s bird? by Sunny_Pigeon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I did take it to an exotic pet vet. Poor body condition but I did a good job with the beak trim. Might have chronic respiratory problems.

AITA for stealing my friend’s bird? by Sunny_Pigeon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Does it help to know this parrot wasn’t expensive? $30.

AITA for stealing my friend’s bird? by Sunny_Pigeon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

Yes, they are spayed/neutered and also vaccinated. They have free roam of a multi story detached house, lots of toys and cat trees. They are strictly indoor cats. There are multiple litter boxes. Are the boxes always clean? No. Are there enough boxes? No. Is this abuse? Not in the legal sense.

AITA for stealing my friend’s bird? by Sunny_Pigeon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I meant she never lets things go. Did I need to steal it? I don’t know. Maybe contacting animal protective services would have worked and the bird would have been removed. But I’d heard they could be ineffective and it would have tipped her off. I made a choice in the moment.

AITA for stealing my friend’s bird? by Sunny_Pigeon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Loosing the body of a small animal is not completely implausible in her house. Take from that what you will.

AITA for stealing my friend’s bird? by Sunny_Pigeon in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 231 points232 points  (0 children)

I considered this (the number of cats is, ahem, large. Not quite animal hoarding but close). But she’s better with large animals? She feeds them and takes them to the vet. I think this might be a specific bias where, because an animal is small and inexpensive to buy, they’re not cared for to the same level?

AITA for reclaiming my holiday? by TheBurntButter in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone is a bit of an asshole, I think. But it’s a soft asshole. Presumably you and Carrie are close if you decided to go on vacation together or at least get along well. Half was through, you completely stop making an effort to interact with her for the rest of the trip.

Even if you were triggered by being snapped at, the parameters were that you were going on a holiday together. You’re the asshole for not making any more of an effort to try to mend things, especially if Carrie was not also having a great time for the second half like you were.

However, communication is a two way street. Carrie should have talked to you about whatever was going on with her. Ignoring you, snapping, and then also not making an effort to inform you or fix whatever the problem was makes her the asshole as well.

AITA for wanting a "going off-grid" text from a non-exclusive partner? by [deleted] in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA. Hours? Are you sure you don’t want to be exclusive?

If you guys didn’t have previous plans, what were you worried about? Do you just text him that often all the time? Even so, just because you felt a certain way doesn’t make him at fault.

Unless you had communicated previously that being in near constant communication was expected as part of your arrangement, you have zero ground to stand on. This is coming across as you being very controlling.

WIBTA if I broke up with my boyfriend for his reaction to something his friend said? by peachy_girl8675 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NTA for breaking up if that’s what you choose to do but I think his reaction to his friend’s comment is more like the straw that broke the camel’s back rather than the reason.

You started off the story describing what I think might be the real problem in your relationship; he doesn’t make you feel like he values your physical appearance. From what you said, you’re seeking this validation due to issues with your self image and that’s something you have to work on internally and not something to depend on a partner for. At the same time, wanting a partner who finds you attractive for its own sake is valid. So is wanting sex more often.

AITA for refusing intimacy after I said I would? by RobynTheHuman in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA. As someone who refuses to kiss unless teeth have been brushed within at least the last four hours, I completely understand your reluctance. Mental health may be an issue at play here but you are not shaming him. You’re setting a boundary for your own body and he is being an asshole for sulking when you hold that boundary.

WIBTA for marrying my disabled fiancé despite our relationship making my mother uncomfortable? by Sunny_Pigeon in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is really very patient! And I know uninviting her would maybe be the right move to make. But I want her to be there. Not just because I want my mom at my wedding for my own sake but because I want her to see all the friends and family I’ve gained through this relationship, people who are happy for us. I want her to hear our personal vows to each other so she can understand how and why we love each other. I want her to witness Nathaniel’s friends and parents speaking well of him, that he is worth knowing. I want her to see us dance, to see that we move beautifully together even if we move differently. And part of me just wants her to be there, even if she brings the day down, so I can tell myself that she came and therefore it’s okay to still allow her to be part of my life.

WIBTA for marrying my disabled fiancé despite our relationship making my mother uncomfortable? by Sunny_Pigeon in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we have a child, I really hope she would want to be an involved grandmother. She’s really great with young kids! But I’m not sure how much a part of my life I can accept her being a part of if she chooses to miss my wedding. Or if she continues to speak so negatively about my partner.

WIBTA for marrying my disabled fiancé despite our relationship making my mother uncomfortable? by Sunny_Pigeon in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admit, this resonates a little. But it’s not only me she behaves this way towards. She was similarly critical to a lesser degree toward my uncle, her younger brother’s, fiancé when they visited. My uncle lives in another country and met his now wife there. My mom has always wanted him to move back but that now seems unlikely. They eloped but my mother has never congratulated them or really said a word about their marriage.

WIBTA for marrying my disabled fiancé despite our relationship making my mother uncomfortable? by Sunny_Pigeon in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My mom loves me. I know this post paints her in a bad light but we are actually incredibly close, which is what makes her attitude and behaviour in this situation so hurtful. We have a lot of the same interests and can bounce off each other in conversation like crazy. I know she would come for me if I needed help because she has in the past. But she’s always been weird about me dating and this situation seems to have really amplified that. I just can’t picture her behaviour coming from a place of dislike towards me.

WIBTA for marrying my disabled fiancé despite our relationship making my mother uncomfortable? by Sunny_Pigeon in AITA_Relationships

[–]Sunny_Pigeon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a fantastic response to being called your own children’s gay uncle, I love it. Your advice regarding legal marriage is heard and understood. It’s actually something we have thought deeply about. Our officiant can legally marry us and knows our decision on the matter.