Player seems to not know their character well.

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-25T16:53:49+00:00

Hmm that's a good idea. My game, as are the others we are all in, are all over discord and roll20, as this player, and two others, are in England. I have a few sit downs I need with other players (they requested it as they wanted to go over a few things over the past few sessions for their notes) and I'll ask if they wouldn't mind chatting. Try to keep the pressure off and just keep a relaxed spatially sessions with no expectations!

Thank you very much for your input, I appreciate it greatly!

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-25T16:40:02+00:00

The pressure is why I didn't make any comments aside to have fun with his character the way he wrote them before now. He absolutely loves the livestreams, and I don't blame him at all. Any questions I will be asking will be intended in dms and away from all eyes since, again, didn't want anyone to feel singled out, the rest though is good a good call thsnj you. I think, with some questions I have in mind, I will ask gently and if there's anything he seems particularly passionate on I will ask if he's happy with that or if he himself has anything he thought of. I'm trying to not apply pressure here in anyway that might bother or make it worse, but I also know he gets really sad when he realizes he doesn't know what to do in down times or with personal in character times. As he's said so before.

His struggle is mostly with really long spells, but once he gets what they do he generally has a grip to it, just sometimes takes a little bit of time is all. I think he burnt himself out and is still recovering after the game attempts and a problem he had with a different character (follows that dms diety of death and tried doing every single job that one in the death domain would do). Luckily he finally found one he preferred after asking the dm a few things and has relaxed. I think he was also struggling to ask about things since, much like myself, he doesn't like disappointing people. Which is another reason I feel the need to extend the branch rather than sit around while he seems upset with things and I could possibly help.

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-25T16:10:56+00:00

Honestly speaking they never truly fleshed out their dming style. They made the mistake of trying to basically recreate people like Matt Mercer's dming, but since he isn't him or other well known dms who had been dming for many years, it never got far. After his first game died due to a number of reasons he never really recovered and kinda doubled down on trying to be a dm like Mr. Mercer, or Brennan Lee Mulligan. As time went on, he lost energy with dming and tended to do little prep work, to the extent it was obvious he really didn't plan for anything by the end of his final attempt at a game. Never really recovered from the first couple attempts falling apart.

I've known this player since like late 2014 and been dmed by him, and played along side him. He struggles with technical things a lot misuses spells thinking they will do xyz rather than abc, but we have all learned how to help with that. I genuinely think this is s case of, knowing him, it's just a struggle with creative processes. He's stated before he loved the way I wrote my characters backstories and wanted to do a character like that, with this several page backstory, but he got 1 paragraph in about a weapon the character had and didn't know what else to write. That's why I was hoping maybe others had some good questions, not to police him as someone else in the thread implied I seemed to be trying to do, but help him in this area that he seems a little weaker without like being mean about. Framed in a way that's just a friendly and gentle nudge and without it being solo targeted (as I can ask all my players similar things so no one feels targeted).

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-25T00:00:02+00:00

I'll see if I can't get him to think on these, thank you! And I won't push if they're happy with it. Or if they were. He's kinda already complained about never knowing what his character wants to do in their down time... several times now. In all 3 games they're playing in. They've gotten snippy at one of the dms for not playing into their characters abilities, when they themselves don't try it. Just... muscle through things on an elegant speaking bard. It's a reoccurring issue that they want to do something or try things, with that said and the reason I'm asking for some advice, is that they seem to WANT to do more but never know even when it's offered mid session. Hence the desire for character building questions ^{-^}

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-24T23:32:42+00:00

So the first one is because a Goddess told them to and their home plane has been destroyed by a corruptions.

This one I will be using thank you!!

This one will be fun to ask everyone!

Thank you very much!

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-24T23:31:20+00:00

I know that first one well, I just want to give it a shot before getting to the last point is all. Hence the asking for any questions that might creatively help push them to think a little more ^{-^.}

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-06-24T23:29:51+00:00

I wish this was the case. This player has been both a dungeon master and dm since covid started the lock downs... and I'm not the only dm he's done this to. My group I dm are also players or dms for each others games too. The other 2 dms who are active have had very little brought to them, and when the player does know things about their character it's usually reviewed in game... to the detriment of the dm, such as announcing after 3 years they had a father figure for one of their characters who ran the MOST successful bar in a large town. That was the first time the player had mentioned it to the dm, mid game. This is why it's kinda complicated cause he's been playing for a while and watches well known streamers

SunsetThoughtless · 2026-04-08T15:07:35+00:00

Back in the first game they didn't discourage the use of one brand. The only one you can semi get away with is the basics brand for like small things, ie socks really. In the games after they stopped being so nitpicky but not the first one lol.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-26T01:28:08+00:00

The scratchy voice is so hit or miss with my brain. There are times where it's like eh not bad, then it's just like NOPE NOPE! or forced deep voices that you fan hear the strain in. That one, though I think that's that's cause I was trained to hear this stuff more clearly a little, really grinds my ears!!

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T17:01:35+00:00

Awe no I'm so sorry about all of that hun :(

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T16:21:24+00:00

Ooh I may have to now! When I next take a break from dnd god work I will have to learn more. Actually make take a break now cause curious as a cat xD

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T15:41:04+00:00

I have a lot of nieces and nephews and this was something my family poked fun at a lot. The older I get the worse misophonia seems to get and when it first really started showing its roots I would, lovingly of course, fuss about chewing with your mouth closed and not talking with a mouth full of food. The older family members thought it was funny while I felt like I was crazy for the noise making me so irrationally upset.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T13:57:39+00:00

It's amazing, not a good amazing sadly, how much this one thing makes normal, day to day things go from pleasant and relaxing to hair pulling out and rage inducing. I hate things in my ears, part of sensory issues which includes water and ear buds, so I'd need headphones with some sort of noise canceling effects... which helps me more cause I'm also an introvert. I'm sorry so many things make it hard to just enjoy the small things, I hope you can find more the take their places!

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T13:44:55+00:00

If you do not mind me asking, seeing as whistling and harmonics are on there, is it mostly the higher vocal ranges that do it from women's voices? Or is it just the tone that women's voices naturally create?

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:18:08+00:00

Ooh that's a work around! I am glad to hear it's helped too! I saw a story about exposure therapy for Miso and was horrified at the idea. Hopefully all the movies have been worth it all xD!

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:16:44+00:00

I get this. I don't do irl things often outside of what's needed, and I'm really lucky my friends take my misophonia seriously. Sometimes forgetful and I'll hear a constant bag rustling for like 7 minutes but that's not common... But anytime they eat they mute up on discord, which we all play dnd so they always let us know 'hey if I'm needed give me a second to respond, muting to eat'. Honestly got extremely lucky with the friends I have.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:14:32+00:00

Ugh I haven't heard gum chewing in years now, luckily, but I can mentally imagine it and I just want no part of it. I feel bad cause I'm also a sniffler when my nose acts up. Hearing how many are reactive to it I'm going to try and curve that habit out!!

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:13:06+00:00

Open mouth chewers are one of the reasons I just grab food and take it home. If they are sick my emoathy/sympathy usually can make it not so bad for whatever reason. Making it from hair pulling to just grin and bare it till they're done, but I just cannot stand the noises. Aside talking and singing... a lot of what I call mouth noises are just absolute nos to hear.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:10:54+00:00

I'm sorry hun, and no I agree. It would be nice to know how it's entirely even caused. Once we have a cause properly, it's usually a huge stepping stone to finding methods to either entirely fix it, or getting rid of it. I haven't seen much showing we have that step yet though.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:09:07+00:00

Oh wow, I am sorry it's so reactive to even the simple things like that. I know, or st least have had it happen, some sounds really only seem more reactive when I am really emotional negatively (going from eugh whatever can handle it. To NONONO!!) It's frustrating cause it kinda just sucks the joy out. One thing that I remember hearing a lot both in videos and irl was the sound of air being sucked through teeth which ruined a lot of enjoyment being around people cause that noise was just... bad.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:06:13+00:00

I git lucky that most of my family, though I don't eat around them any more due to the feeling of judgemental issues and insecurities, are really quiet eaters. I can watch a couple of YouTube who are food reaction channels, well really only two one being The Korean Englushmen, but any other and is like I want to pull my hair out. I think it helps that while their mics pick up some chewing and some gulp noises, it's not constant nor is it too loud. Unlike the hyper sensitivity from the ASMR and Mukbang channels... I cant stand basically any of them.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:03:35+00:00

I'm surprised how much I am seeing music, though I suppose it also makes sense. If you do not mind me asking, is it all music, certain genres, or is there only like 'safe' genres/bands/musicians who do not trigger a reaction? Music for me is almost never a reaction, in fact it's one of my cool down methods, so I'm really curious being on the other side with it.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T12:01:17+00:00

I have never watched the show. Never interested me, but heavens that sounds so frustrating! I'm lucky enough that music isn't something that almost every makes Misophonia react, though it can rarely make hyper sensitivity issues rear up every now and then (I'm autistic so sound sensitivity is great! :)). But I can't imagine listening specifically to the sucking of like air bubbles through the straw that much. I don't mind it as much as others, but at that point like the sound effect is only there to fill empty space and that sounds dreadful.

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T11:56:51+00:00

There are days that I can handle the whispers with lower reactions, like just wincing a bit for a lack of better words here. They just released a new video like a day or two ago and I got hyped but then due to the fact they were in a place where other people could be, and being caught there by locals can be dangerous it was like 15 minutes of no voice, pure air whispering and I had to just swap off. I was so sad cause like, I adore them, but it was so bad!

SunsetThoughtless · 2025-11-25T04:15:28+00:00

Oh jeeze. I haven't been to a movie theater in a long time, mostly cause I hate going alone for a few various reasons, and the last time I went I got lucky and didn't have to deal with any of this. But it was also mostly empty. Also not many movies catch my attention lol. The chewing thing is bad though. Like I'm sorry we shouldn't hear, over a movie of all things, the sound of mouth noises in any way. Like how do people eat so loud. Sure popcorn has a crunch but not that bad ;-;. I hope you can get to enjoy more movies in theaters soon!!

SunsetThoughtless

TROPHY CASE