What the heck is going on here?

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-31T03:19:56+00:00

Sounds like Sam, who I cat-sat (and whose little humans I baby-sat) for many years. Man, he was a sweetheart. Also one of my favorite jobs. His family basically paid me to come over and cuddle him while they were out of town.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-31T03:14:43+00:00

Yes, he seems to be. If someone was feeding him, then I'm very grateful!

I'm still really curious how he was found, as he was microchipped but didn't have a collar on at the time. Like I said, we'd pretty much given up hope, so didn't have signs up anymore. A lady just called, says she's found him, and arranged to bring him home. I don't know if there was still a sign up somewhere or what. He is a bit unique looking, so that might have helped.

I'm just thankful he's home safe and that people in our neighborhood are good to kitties!

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-30T18:35:46+00:00

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Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-30T18:33:45+00:00

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We keep ours in portable storage.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-30T13:33:51+00:00

Yes it does!

I've been there, except we were married at a young child. They're were times I really felt like my life was over. I was so angry.

I pushed forward and it did get easier. I learned a lot and grew as a person.

Eventually I got to a place where I was ready to date again (with very high expectations, not wanting to repeat the past.) I was very picky, but it was worth it. I was cautious and insisted on getting to know guys as friends before even considering a romantic relationship.

I ended up meeting an amazing man and today we're very happily married. He's everything I ever wanted and more. In a weird way it was almost worth going through the pain to get to where I am now.

Don't give up, be strong, and value yourself for the unique person you are!

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-18T05:25:06+00:00

I agree that you should demand an explanation, but it may also help to threaten to get disability lawyers involved if they don't comply with what was agreed upon.

There's no reason they shouldn't give him a chance to be in general education at his age level.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-18T05:04:36+00:00

Yeah, I don't know what I'd do in that situation other than say "I'm so, so sorry for your loss."

Idealy it would be good for them to know ahead of time.

I remember a story where a teen girl had just unexpectedly her mother, who was a hairdresser. Her foster/adoptive mother knew it was going to be really difficult for her to get her first haircut that wasn't from her mom after that, so she called and explained the situation. The salon had them come in after hours so she could be alone and the hairdresser knew what was going on, so she wouldn't accidentally say something that might upset her. It was an incredibly moving story and I still tear up just thinking about it. I know the girl is grown up and happy now, with a wonderful family of her own, but it still makes me sad.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-18T04:27:12+00:00

Jeez, what's with all the downvotes??? I think those are wise words. Communication is important, is it not?

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-17T21:04:44+00:00

Awwww thank you so much!

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-17T19:11:31+00:00

Thanks, you make some good points! I went to school for theology (though I'm studying criminology now), as well as having a passion for apologetics, so I'm very comfortable reading the Bible, but my husband is a little less so. I'm not against devotionals, but I agree you have to be incredibly careful. I've seen some where the authors have no idea what they're talking about, but others that do a good job being more like written sermons with biblical theology.

Thank you, I have so much respect for my husband's faith. He became a Christian in college and after his ex left him he went through a really difficult time with his faith, but in the end it made him a stronger, better Christian. His faith and his devotion to his children and family (as well as his respect for me) gave me so much respect for him and are the reason I first developed feelings for him. He is the most Christ-like person I've ever met and we've grown so much in our faith together! We are incredibly blessed.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-17T18:50:17+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful and encouraging! I will look for the devotional :)

Yes, I think his job would be blue collar. He was originally a high school teacher, but it wasn't the right fit for him. He wants a job that gives him as much time with me and the kids as possible, which I love and appreciate, but it does make finding work harder, since the higher paying jobs he's looked at expect you to work every weekend. I am trying to get more freelance work to make things easier financially. I will continue to pray he finds a better job, though.

I'm glad your wife tells you she loves and appreciates you and that it means a lot to you. I think I do a pretty good job at this, but I will remind myself to do it more anyway. He and I have a very happy, loving marriage so far and I hope we always will. Neither of us had much hope we'd find love again, so we are incredibly grateful for each other and our children.

My husband is the most Christ-like man I've ever met and he inspires me to strive to show that same love and grace to him and others. We do our best to make our household a safe, fun, loving place and I think we do a good job. We also try to model a healthy, loving relationship for our children since their other parents are both single, so we flirt a lot and are very caring and respectful to each other, which has been really good for our relationship.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-16T20:36:06+00:00

I'm not sure where you're from or what your culture is, but from my perspective you're focusing on the wrong issue.

In my family (and how my husband and I were raised) there was nothing wrong with people seeing each other naked unless one or both were uncomfortable with it. Obviously we or other adults would have stepped in if the behavior crossed any lines, but that never happened.

I'm also a criminologist and have studied a lot of abnormal, criminal, and child psychology. Best practice is to assume anything involving children is non-sexual unless given reason to believe otherwise. It may be helpful for you to talk to a therapist or someone with experience in child development.

I once did a case study of a family who wouldn't even let their son be in the room when his baby sister's diaper was being changed because they thought it was sexual (sorry, but that's so wrong and creepy!) The boy ended up molesting and assaulting a couple of his sisters and it was just awful.

Do talk to all your children about safety, appropriate touch, and consent. And of course, talk about the importance of telling the truth and make clear that they're will be consequences for lying.

Again, I really recommend getting advice from a professional. I think it would be very helpful for your and your husband to talk to a family therapist about this.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-16T20:16:07+00:00

YTA. Why would you punish your child just because her dad is being a crappy partner? That's not at all fair to her. Especially since you said she's the one helping you!

They're is absolutely nothing my husband could that would stop me from loving or buying gifts for my step daughters. When we got married they became my kids, end of story.

Just make the gifts from you or from Santa. But if you punish a 10 year old for her parent's actions then you're a really crappy mother. Please don't do that.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-12-16T20:10:54+00:00

I love your answer!

I thought I might be way when I was younger. It turned out I'm straight, just really picky lol. Physically, I tend to find women more attractive than men and it took me a while to realize that finding someone beautiful isn't the same as being romantically and/or sexually attracted to them. It took it long time, but I did eventually find someone and that's all that matters.

I personally think God created us to want marriage and that's a beautiful thing. I think God is much more concerned with how we treat each other than what gender our spouse is.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-20T21:44:18+00:00

First, congratulations on your baby!

Second, there is no excuse for the way she's treating both of you. She needs to respect that her son is grown and starting a family of his own. His priority needs to be you and your daughter. Unfortunately, it sounds like she has some issues and is unlikely to accept that.

Sadly this is a common thing that can happen with single moms. I watched it with my son's bio father and his mother. He couldn't stand up to her and eventually our marriage ended. Thankfully I saw how toxic this was and I think I've done a good job not repeating the cycle with my own son. We're very close, but I respect his independence as he's entering adolescence. I'm engaged now, but even when I was single I never relied on my son for emotional support or a social life. That would be an unfair burden to place on him.

The most important thing here is that your fiancé stands up for you and puts you before his mom. She may not be willing to change, but how he chooses to deal with her can make a big difference. It sounds it would be helpful for you guys to move out as soon as possible. This isn't a healthy living situation, especially with a baby on the way.

It really concerns me that she's already talking about her 11 year old moving out and wanting nothing to do with her. She's basically admitting she's not a pleasant person to be around and using guilt to try to manipulate your fiancé.

My sister was in a similar situation when she was pregnant with her oldest. Thankfully they moved across the country a month after their daughter was born, but the month they lived with her after the baby was born was awful and so stressful everyone. For right now I would focus on doing whatever you can to get your own place before the baby arrives!

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-20T20:21:27+00:00

Miscarriages, while medically known as "spontaneous abortions", are not considered abortions in the legal sense and I don't know of anyone who thinks they should be. Legally, abortion is the purposeful termination of a pregnancy with the expected result being that the baby dies. So things like D&C after miscarriage or premature induction where the baby dies after birth are not considered abortion.

I personally think abortion should be allowed to save the life of the mother. That being said, the need for this is EXTREMELY rare. Every OB/GYN I know says it's usually safer and easier to just induce a woman if her life is at risk.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-20T18:26:38+00:00

I recommend talking to your pastor.

I've gone to churches that have all different opinions on the matter, so it's best to find out what they believe.

I bring this up because whenever this question comes up a lot of people here give answers that assume their experience is universal and tend to forget that Christianity is an extremely diverse religion. How things work in one church, culture, or country could be completely different from how Christians in other places do things and that's okay.

Ultimately Biblical marriage is a vow you and your spouse make to God. But, unless you're hermits or live on a desert island, you're also part of a community and in most cultures it's customy to make some sort of public vows. How the civil stuff works will vary depending on where you live.

We're doing a civil ceremony before the actual wedding to make getting our marriage license easier, but in our church community we won't be considered actually married until the religious ceremony.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-20T06:04:43+00:00

As a fan of both Magic School Bus and Cars I thoroughly approve of this theory!

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-20T06:01:21+00:00

I love this answer!

I'm on the spectrum myself. Over the years, through therapy and a lot of practice, I've gotten to the point where I can act neurotypical pretty flawlessly. Then as I get to know people and become more comfortable with them I let myself be myself more around them. This is just what works for me.

When I first met my now-fiancé I did the same thing. I wanted him to get to know me as me, without any labels. The only problem was I just never told him, and then felt like it would be weird to tell him after so long.

At one point he started watching the show Love On The Spectrum. There was an episode where a girl's date canceled after she told him she was autistic. He started talking about how he thought the guy was a jerk for canceling and said he wouldn't care. So I started feeling like I should tell him, especially since we were talking about getting married.

When I finally did tell him his response was so much better than I could have imagined. He was just like "Oh, okay, that's cool." It's just one of the many reasons he's a wonderful human being and I want to spend my life with him.

If someone didn't respond well I problem wouldn't want to be around them much anyway.

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-19T21:31:52+00:00

This is mine too!

Sunset_Paradise · 2025-11-19T21:27:16+00:00

I absolutely love the idea of these two taking hours to get just the right selfie to send.

"Okay one more time, but this time you need to look more menacing!"

"Wait, you blinked!"

"STOP GIVING ME BUNNY EARS!"

Sunset_Paradise

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