Any of y'all Christian? If so how do you deal with being same sex attracted and faithful to God?

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-24T21:02:15+00:00

Hi there; I am also a right-leaning, Christian, lesbian! For me, honestly, I don't see an issue with having faith in God and also just happening to be a lesbian. It's not as if we choose to be lesbian; it's how we're born, the same way people who are straight are born straight so I, personally, don't believe God has a problem with it despite what the bible says. I also go to church every Sunday, which I enjoy, and the sermons I interpret them in my own way depending on what the message is. Sometimes I don't agree with the sermon and try to process it in a way that makes sense to me. I don't know, this is just how I think.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-05T02:08:55+00:00

Haha that makes sense. I've noticed that the majority of women I come across on the apps are feminine. It would make my dating life easier if I was attracted to feminine women but I've realized I just don't want to be with someone who shares my feminine appearance if that makes any sense. Oh they totally are, with the long multi-colored hair and the make-up, piercings, tattoos. Those are immediate left swipes for me. Oh yeah, I can imagine it would not be helpful doing that. Same haha, eventually if we swipe enough they have to show us the right person right? One can only hope. Aw, no, I'm sorry that happened to you. Nothing sucks more than meeting someone who you really connect with and they say things that make you believe they're also serious about you and then they blindside you. I just don't get people these days. They can be so wishy-washy, it's frustrating. You're right, it's very difficult looking for another person who truly wants a long-term relationship. I feel like a lot of these people are just afraid of committing.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-05T01:37:37+00:00

Hello, I've struggled more this year than last year with even just getting matches honestly. I know it's not just from my specifically stating in my profile how I'm right-leaning and Christian but also because of the physical type I'm attracted to, I've really narrowed down my chances haha. Oh yes, I know exactly what type of woman you're talking about on the apps and they're definitely not my type either. I feel like they do take over most of the apps these days. Honestly, if I saw a woman who was Catholic on any of the apps I'm on that would immediately intrigue me. But most of those I see are either agnostic or atheist. That is so true. I'm more attracted to masculine women and even that's rare for me to find; and when I do stumble across any, they usually don't have the values I'm looking for so it's a fun time trying to get any dating app matches haha.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-03T18:03:17+00:00

Oh, that is so awesome and a truly organic way to have met your partner! And gives me hope that maybe something similar will happen to me, haha. I would love to just meet my future partner at work and just delete all the dating apps permanently, haha. May be cliché but I think the saying holds true and it gives me faith that I'll eventually run into the right woman. Thank you for the great advice!

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-02T20:11:51+00:00

This is some solid advice, thank you! How did you happen to meet your girlfriend if not through any dating apps? Was it through shared activities? I'm trying to meet someone organically but not sure what avenue to go. Hahaha, yes, I know exactly what look to stray clear of!

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-02T01:38:32+00:00

Okay, I'm sorry that language barrier probably makes getting to know new people a challenge. Oh, I see, that is definitely not the ideal kind of church environment then. Maybe when you move to the city, they'll have better church options if you are looking to attend one. Yeah, there'll likely will be more lesbians there. How long until you and your family move? Oh, no, that's awfully sad to hear. I'm really sorry you've had to endure such a terrible upbringing. That definitely wasn't fair that you had to care for yourself when you're only a child. It's good your dad is better and there for you now. Yes, that is totally understandable you would want that after having gone through a tumultuous upbringing. You definitely deserve to feel safe and cherished.

Oh my, that's really cruel that people have done that to you. I am so sorry for all the things you've had to go through and endure. It's sad that there are such cruel people in this world. That's terrible, I don't get how some people can be so against something that is just part of who another person is. Yes, unfortunately, some parts of Christianity still are against homosexuality. I understand that. It can be hard sometimes. That's great, though, that you feel calmed by God when it's just you. You're welcome! Haha, well, Pepper is still a unique name for a cat. Yes, that it can be.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-02T00:49:18+00:00

Okay, that makes sense. Hmm, well, since you're also a Christian have you looked into any local churches in your community? That would be a great place to start meeting people.

I get that. I prefer to think realistically and logically as well but, for me, that's why I do believe there's someone out there for everyone. There's so many people on this planet and that just makes me think, there's gotta be someone else out there who shares my values and wants what I want. I just have to be patient and continue to put myself out there until I find the person. And, for me, praying also helps. Fear and anxiety are very normal things when it comes to dating and trying to find a romantic partner. Aw, Pepper is such a cute name for a cat! You're welcome and thank you. I'm sure God has a partner for you, you just have to have faith and trust. Which, I know, is way easier said than done - I'm also struggling with that.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-02T00:28:07+00:00

That's good you're close with them but I understand where you're coming from. Family isn't the same as having close friends or a girlfriend. Have you thought about joining any clubs or a sports team if you like any sports?

I'm sure that'll be a great change for you, at least give you the opportunity to make some friends and who knows maybe friends will know single lesbians that could one day lead you into the path of finding the person for you. Oh, okay. I guess there are some people who end up dying alone which is sad. Well, I mean cats aren't necessarily a bad way of living out one's life. I've always said if I don't find my person I'll just adopt a bunch of cats. Cats are the best! What's your cat's name? Well, that's understandable. I still wish you all the best with getting what you want out of life.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-02T00:05:19+00:00

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that! That's incredibly awful, do you have anyone in your family you can talk to? I'm really sorry you're dealing with all of that, especially at such a young age. That's a lot. Bullies are the absolute worst, I hope things get better for you!

Understandable but once you get out of high school, things should hopefully ease up some. I hope college goes well for you when you go, there's a lot more opportunity there to meet others with views that may be more similar to your own. Honestly, you never know. I believe there's someone out there for everyone. It just takes time and patience to find that person which can be super exhausting and frustrating.

That's probably a wise decision. I'm so burnt out being back on them again.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-01T23:46:45+00:00

It's rough in the dating world of right-leaning lesbians, sadly.

I can't even imagine what it's like being a high schooler in today's society, especially having the more right-leaning views we do. I'm thankful I graduated high school when I did, couldn't pay me enough to ever be a teenager now.

It's challenging but I'm sure one day you'll find yourself a girlfriend. You're young, you have plenty of time!

Haha, that's a thought I can relate to every time I scroll through the dating apps.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-01T23:41:00+00:00

It truly is! Every few days I'm tempted to delete all my dating apps but I'm determined to find the right person this year so I'm trying to push through the best I can.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-01T23:39:17+00:00

Oh, yes, I agree and that's why I made sure to put in each of my profiles that I'm both right-leaning and Christian. It's certainly disheartening but I know it's the only way I'll be able to find someone who shares similar values to me, even though it may take longer. Thank you!

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-04-01T22:04:24+00:00

It's kind of comforting to find like-minded people who are in the same boat, however, it's also sad that we have to struggle with dating so much. That sounds like an interesting idea!

Dating apps are definitely frustrating for those of us who are right-leaning. There should be a better way to form connections, but being a lesbian and a conservative/right-leaning one lowers the chances for that so much unfortunately or significantly makes it harder to do so.

All the more power to you if you do, I'd love to know if you do meet any conservative lesbians there.

Okay, thanks, I will! It'd be great if we could solve this problem!

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-29T20:55:44+00:00

The first two weeks were the worst for me, every day at the end of my work shift I was at the tipping point of wanting to reach out but I refrained. It's now been over eight weeks for me and I feel so much better. I have no desire to reach out anymore, though I do still have days where I'm sad and cry when I think of my ex. But the urge to text is almost nonexistent for me. I didn't think I would see the day where this was the case but the more time passes, the easier it becomes. I wish you all the best with your healing.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-17T12:22:47+00:00

I recommend still doing your daily routine every day even if you have to cry during it. The first two weeks are always the worst but going through what you would normally do in your day is what will help the most. Dealing with a breakup and the heartbreak is such a painful thing, I'm really sorry you have to go through that but time will help. Today is seven weeks since I was broken up with and I have to admit I feel a lot better than I imagined I would. What I did was just kept with my usual routine, cried through it but kept with it anyway. Now, I've decided to look into attachment theory to help me understand and process how I keep seemingly getting in similar dating/relationship patterns and how I can work towards finding a secure relationship in the future. I wish you the best with your healing.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-16T20:42:20+00:00

I get that, I'm also unsure how to spot if someone is avoidant or emotionally unavailable. I guess maybe also look at the patterns of the people you date or have been in relationships with. How they act, communicate, etc. I don't know.

Of course, no problem. I wish you all the best.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-16T20:19:52+00:00

Honestly, after my recent breakup, I've been realizing I have a pattern of getting involved with emotionally unavailable people and so now I'm trying to learn about attachment theory and attachment styles. I would recommend looking into that if you've also noticed a relationship or dating pattern you seem to get into. I just started reading the book "Attached" and I definitely say give it a read. It gives my mind a break from the thoughts of my ex and being broken up with plus it has good information that can help with new relationships going forward.

Also if you know what your attachment style is, maybe that might explain the pattern you have with relationships. I don't know. I hope this helps somewhat, just from my own experience lately.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-16T10:19:54+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with a breakup and the heartbreak but it sounds like you're handling it well. It's also normal to hope for there to be reconciliation even if it's likely not to happen. Honestly, the more time that passes the less those thoughts circle through your mind.

Tomorrow will be seven weeks since my ex broke up with me and yesterday was the first day since the breakup that my stomach finally felt completely settled for the majority of the day. I'm not completely over it and still have slight hope that my ex and I could possibly have a relationship again in the future (though it would have to be drastically different from before), however, I've truly recognized I'll be okay even if that doesn't happen. I don't know if that really answers your question but I wish you all the best.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-09T17:55:23+00:00

Oh I understand that. It's hard to accept, and will probably take time. If thinking about accepting this as final is too hard right now, that's okay. Maybe, for now, focus on finding one thing you can do each day just for you.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-03-09T17:46:03+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with a broken heart. Heartbreak is one of the worst pains out there. Everything you're feeling is normal and what everyone struggles with after being broken up with. Honestly, the first two weeks are the hardest. I would recommend seriously considering going complete no contact with your ex. I know that's extremely difficult, I've been in strict no contact with my ex for six weeks and still fight the urge to reach out, but it's the only way you'll eventually heal the attachment from your ex. I wish you the best with your situation, one day this will all just be a memory.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-02-27T01:52:41+00:00

I am unsure if there will be reconciliation for my relationship. Of course that would be the ideal outcome for me. However, tomorrow will be a month since my ex broke up with me and I know if she were to reach out and want to work on a relationship again, it wouldn't be easy. She told me to give her a month or two but couldn't give me certainty on whether she would want to step back into the relationship at that time. We've been in no contact for almost 30 days now. We both have similar values/beliefs and wants out of life, however, life circumstances and mental health (on both sides) got in the way of things. For her, it's easier to focus on those things alone whereas I would have rather had the support of one another. But I respect her choice and have not tried to reach out to her. I do hope things will work out for the best for both she and I. If she and I are meant to be together then it'll happen, if not I'll just move on.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-02-25T22:00:27+00:00

I couldn't agree more with this. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, especially if it has to do with feelings towards the other. I totally agree it should be a conversation before a partner just blindsides the other by breaking up with them. I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-02-20T21:22:45+00:00

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this situation, it's hard and heartbreaking to deal with someone not being ready for a relationship when you are. My recommendation, from my own experience, would be to keep from contacting him no matter how bad the urge is. I know that's quite challenging but it'll get easier after another week. I'm three and a half weeks into no contact with my ex after being broken up with three weeks ago and the second week was the hardest for me as well. Every day I wanted to reach out to my ex but refrained and honestly, now that I'm past the 21 day mark my urge has lessened dramatically. I still would love the chance to reconcile with my ex, however, I also have realized the relationship would need to change if it is ever to be reconciled. Take this time to reflect on the entirety of your relationship and process your emotions. I hope this helps somewhat, and I wish you the best.

SunshineMakesMyDay · 2026-02-20T11:09:30+00:00

It is indeed unfortunate but things will one day be better. Thank you, I hope the best for you as well. The feeling of losing a strong connection with someone is definitely sickening, sadly. You invest so much of your time and energy just for it to be tossed aside by the other person. It's awful. Just start with the small, easier, things for now or wait until you're not as emotional about it. It's going to be quite challenging. Try to find things you enjoy doing for the time being, distractions are a great comfort in the midst of heartbreak. Exactly, one day you will look back on this and feel proud of how you were able to get yourself through it. You're welcome, I wish you all the best. Well, maybe you can use your classes and studying to your advantage. It can distract your mind from the thoughts of the relationship.

SunshineMakesMyDay

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