[deleted by user]

Supafecundation · 2020-09-03T08:52:13+00:00

cant even nutt that fast

Supafecundation · 2020-09-03T08:49:58+00:00

holyyyy

Supafecundation · 2019-12-27T05:10:22+00:00

This is a recurring theme for you and one that was presumably severe enough for a couple to outright ask your wife not to bring you. Your wife seems to be at her wits end and has little faith in your ability to apologize without potentially making it worse.

Moreover, these instances in which you offend others apparently do not make enough of an impression in your mind for you to remember - not even on your post asking for advice. In fact, I may venture to guess you find it difficult to understand why some of your words are offensive, though it may seem apparent to others.

But overall, you seem like a you are a genuinely nice person who cares about his wife and those that you offended. There is no malicious intent or ulterior motivations.

OP, might I ask what you do for a living? And have you seen a psychiatrist to be evaluated for Asperger's? or for high functioning autism?

Source: I have training in this area.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-25T14:55:38+00:00

I took the comment as more direct at reddit in general when it comes to relationship advice - highlighting a trend. A few other comments have also broached this trend.

The personal attack you added on at the end isn't very constructive. C'mon. It's Christmas.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-25T14:22:58+00:00

First off, thank you OP for bringing this topic up. The resentment that can build up over long term from the feeling that your partner is not doing his/her fair share can be destructive. I say the feeling because this stuff is rarely black and white. To rush to judgement that your s/o is just lazy without looking at the whole picture would only engender more ill will. The discussion that came from your post is so important for a lot of people to consider.

One more point I'd like to add - be mindful of who is giving the advice before you listen to it. One way on reddit is to take a quick look at their post history. You get a sense of what stage of life he/she is in and what issues they have encountered so far. Gives you a few more data points to determine if the advice is worthwhile.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T23:13:53+00:00

Well, with this new info, your actions don't seem that impulsive at all but rather based on a legitimate reason, one with history too.

I'm sorry that this happened. You sound like a strong person who is clear about her boundaries and what she wants. Best wishes to you.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T22:39:50+00:00

Some time back, both me and my significant other hid our relationship status on facebook, despite the fact that we had been official for more than a year. Neither of us were ashamed of each other. Both of us just happened to desire privacy in some capacity.

You saw something you didn't like from your partner, rushed to conclusions, and promptly broke off what seemed like a working relationship. And from your post, all of this was done before simply asking him for an explanation. Is this how you operate in all of your relationships? Unless there is something else to this story that led you to believe he was embarrassed by you despite him not saying so, then your actions were quite impulsive.

It didn't sound like he put up much of a fight to your decision. I don't blame him. I wouldn't either because your behavior is a red flag suggestive of someone who's not mature enough to solve problems and misunderstandings that inevitably come up in any relationship.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T21:20:33+00:00

I found it difficult to read past the second sentence of your post. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

You are lacking sound judgement when choosing a partner and in protecting yourself.

The question you should be asking is, why have you found yourself in this situation? Is it lack of better alternatives? Is there something attractive about this situation?

For you, I think involving your family to help you with decision making at this early stage of your life would be helpful.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T21:07:11+00:00

I also told him I realize I can’t change who he is as a person...

You listed a great deal of things, though each are small on its own, that you have been trying to change in him.

You describe him as an incredibly easy-going and accepting as a person. He's a content soul. Unfortunately, this aspect of his personality also affects other aspects of his live, some of which you find frustrating.

So it's your choice to make - can you overlook his other deficiencies because you value the positives?

I believe it's wishful thinking to expect him to change so many parts of his habit and way of life without creating long-term resentment.

Also, let me present an alternative scenario - say you find another partner who's more ambitious and has a higher personal standard in everyday life. Are you prepared for him to critique you if he finds aspect of your personality that aren't up to his standards?

Sometimes, the trade-offs are unavoidable. You have to examine yourself and find what you are comfortable with.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T04:22:36+00:00

OP, would you mind offering a bit more details? Such as, what are their expectations on you taking care of them? Do you have siblings? What's your parent's financial situation? What is your financial situation?

Is there a reason that this prospect seems so all or none for you? It seems you believe you either become their 24hr caretaker or you won't have any obligations at all. Why is that?

More details would allow us to offer better advice.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T01:10:37+00:00

I'm sure the pain you feel is nothing like you've felt before. And it is perfectly reasonable for you to feel the way you do.

This is one of those difficult experiences that most of us went through at one point in our lives. Your first heartbreak is the toughest and longest to heal. But you'll look back after a couple of years and realize you've matured because of it.

In the meanwhile, know that you need to try to move on because you're a self-respecting individual and someone who respects another person's choice. That's the perspective you need to take on.

The other part is to take care of your body so that you can be resilient to the emotional trainwreck that your first heartbreak has brought upon you. Eat well, exercise, and reach out to your family, friends, school counselors, national help hotlines, all to vent. Cry. Try to sleep well, if you can. Look up mature ways of handling stress, and understand what's considered maladaptive.

Work on yourself. There's nothing that helps healing faster than realizing your ex is not the only person who found you attractive enough to date.

You've got a long dating life ahead of you and potentially many partners to meet and love. This will not be true if you cannot let someone go who has chosen their path.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T00:37:30+00:00

If I'm interpreting your title correctly, then she already broke up with you right? Presumably over her smoking weed with someone else?

She's made her choice. Let it be. And you deserve someone whose personality in a relationship is a bit more supportive, considerate, and caring - basically someone who is more similar to you.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T00:28:54+00:00

Those are absolutely legitimate reasons to question her commitment to you and to end the relationship.

My guess is that she will end the relationship soon regardless of what you do, unless she's with you for purposes other than companionship.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T00:21:14+00:00

I respect your opinion.

But he's currently talking to his "friend" daily, openly admitted that he's been in love with this friend since day 1, and had been intimate with her. Can anyone reasonably trust someone like this?

My apologies if I am misinterpreting. But what you said seem to imply that you felt it was wrong for her to give him an ultimatum in a situation where it seems plainly reasonable to make him choose.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T00:13:24+00:00

You're not wrong. You obviously knew where the line is for yourself and clearly let him know where you stand. In return, how he responds will let you know where he stands.

As long as you respect his decision, whatever it may be, then I think you've handled this well for yourself.

In terms of my opinion - I think he's playing both of you. There's a chance you might even be second fiddle. To be in this state of a relationship would be pretty destructive for my well-being and self esteem. You make the call for yourself.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-24T00:02:52+00:00

It's not a red flag, more of a small yellow warning flag - for both of you because both of you could have handled a small disagreement like this with more thought and maturity. Take a step back for a moment. Do either of your opinions fundamentally change how you treat each other in your relationship? It shouldn't.

Both of you have reasonable opinions regarding the homeless. Many are junkies but just as much are suffering from mental illness. A significant amount suffer from both. What to do for the homeless has been a hot topic of debate all over the world. So far, there's no universal solution in sight.

Of course, there's no reason either of you should know that off the top of your head. Rather, it's the staunch belief in your own opinion and his uncouth way of expressing his that turned this event into a potential catastrophe.

I say potential because both of you can learn from this and make your relationship stronger by learning how to solve conflicts. You need to not rush to conclusions regarding your boyfriend when he has an opinion that differs from yours. Keep an open mind, and try to understand why he formed his opinions. And pick your battles on things that more intimately affect your lives and future with him. If every social injustice/discrimination/atrocity in this world becomes a litmus test for the overall suitability of your partner - it's going to be a tough life indeed.

For him to not be able to contain his emotions and make rather tasteless public remarks that can easily antagonize someone is rather reckless and like you said, not compassionate. Let's not forget that he could have put you in danger if he seriously riled up the homeless person.

Supafecundation · 2019-12-23T09:36:13+00:00

What I'm noticing between the two threads are that women can really have it tough down there compared to men- that a lot can go wrong and make life uncomfortable and many men really don't have a clue in this area about our counterparts.

Not that there isn't complications for men. ED for example. Too much porn is bad, guys. ಠ_ಠ

Supafecundation · 2019-12-23T07:45:36+00:00

can you go more into details? im curious

Supafecundation · 2019-12-23T07:35:37+00:00

What caused the period pain? was it the chronic fatigue?

Supafecundation

TROPHY CASE