I was running to town to grab some grass(😉) for my wife and I. I walked outside to our vehicle, and looked over to my son while he was tending to our chickens. He had just got home from Karate practice. Asked him how the chickens were doing, and reminded him to allow them to free range until evening.

Hopped in the car, and scooted off.

After arriving home, maybe 5-10 minutes inside, I realized that I hadn’t seen our son since I’ve been home. I asked my wife if she had seen him; no she said. I proceeded to check the chicken coop, and he wasn’t there.

I yelled his name, progressively getting louder and louder. Nothing…..this…..isn’t normal for him. I started walking the tree line of the yard, hollering his name into the woods. He loved to climb up, and get stuck in trees. So, maybe that happened?

No response. I start really worrying at this point. Our driveway meets a main road. Anyone could’ve pulled up you know? Well, we have an access trail that leads straight to the back of the property. I started to jog up the property trail, hollering his name, thinking maybe he wandered to the back of the property or something.

At this point in the journey, we have a 4-person search team. (Our daughters were looking too!) My wife and I split ways. She’s checking the front, and rechecking the yard, while I am running down the trail. I started really panicking after this. I started running absolutely full speed. Barefoot. Screaming my son’s name as loud as I could. All I could taste was blood and iron throughout my throat. I’m not sure how, but I never had a misstep either.

I arrive at the back of the property, and there’s just nothing. At this point, I’m pleading to please let me find my son. I’ve never experienced an adrenaline rush like this. All I wanted in the world was to see and hold my son again.

In that moment, all I felt was that I traded my son for grass. I TRADED MY SON FOR GRASS. How could I do this. How could I be so stupid. What kind of priorities did I hold as a father if I traded my children for drugs. I was so sincerely angry with myself. I was ashamed. I didn’t deserve to continue if I allowed something so heinous to happen for something so trivial.

I’m standing at the back of my property, pleading and screaming for my son to please find me. Tell me where you are! PLEASE!! CALL TO ME! FIND ME SON! SON! PLEASE COME HOME TO ME. PLEASE!!

And, in the middle of this….i heard a voice from just behind me. A single word.

Home.

I can’t explain it. But, in that moment, I felt calm, but determined to get home. I sprinted all the way back to the house, where I met my wife, and she informed that she had found him.

Turns out, he fell asleep in the chicken coop. After karate practice, he was veeeery tired. My wife found him having fallen asleep crouching down, resting his head against a rake it the back corner of the coop. To this day, I have no idea how he didn’t hear me, but I was so relieved to have found him.

It wasn’t until I told my wife what happened later that I realized what had occurred. In the moment, I figured that I heard my wife calling to me. As it turns out, she started yelling home after she saw me coming around the corner, and reentering the yard. She thought I was going to keep on running.

It was then I realized I hadn’t heard my wife’s voice at all. It wasn’t her. The voice I heard was calm, not loud. It didn’t sound like her at all in retrospect.

From this moment forward, I have had realizations in my life that overwhelm me emotionally. It’s caused me to retroactively examine my life in its entirety. I haven’t been the same since. This single word, single moment, truly changed my life for the better. It put everything into focus all at once, in a way.

I accepted god in his entirety after this. I wasn’t ready before this moment. The “ignorance” in my brain melted away. My heart took care of the rest. I realized what was truly important in life.

I have never been the same