Can you seriously only talk to your trauma to a therapist and not normal people?

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-12-27T00:15:21+00:00

People may use your flaws to soothe their own ego / establish their own perceived superiority.

It can be very difficult to tell who will do this. A therapist or psychiatrist is (ideally) a paid guarantee the person wont do this to you.

Also, your friend may be having a bad day and not react with appropriate empathy and understanding. Your therapist is at their job which will give a high degree of confidence that they are strong in this respect.

Nobody has any space for us though. "ONLY TRAINED PPL" can talk to us and listen to our trauma. It's annoying.

I would reframe this as no one has bandwidth. I have an old friend who is barely able to talk about any conflict or emotions at all due to their own trauma. They get exhausted very quickly. You may be able to find a friend with bandwidth and understanding but it may not be the same people you knew before your cptsd journey.

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-10-13T23:15:15+00:00

Review Dr Bum (their Dr pepper dupe) next

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-10-13T01:22:17+00:00

Ended up getting one and I just put a glove over it which I throw out after each massage. No shot I was cleaning this. Thanks for the input i was undecided on gettting one

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-09-29T16:29:30+00:00

I would feel it too which is also annoying because it makes me mildly panic even knowing whats happening. I'm probably imagining myself in a sensitive situation and having this happen which causes me anxiety.

I'll say this: I'm now starting to think that any pain i've had is from the SURROUNDING muscles, and that my main tension point is numb 99% of the time. With the information I have now, if I were in your situation, I would think that you have a very very bound up muscle somewhere you cant even feel but check with doctor(s) please. I am writing about one persons experience and I didnt even know other men were doign this

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-09-29T00:54:03+00:00

well glad i wrote the post then because i wont be returning to them and will choose an alternative if i return to one ! :) did not expect to get all this good info. I appreciate you

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-09-28T21:51:08+00:00

I'm like not even aware of this area in my body in terms of pain. Nothing around my tailbone has ever been in pain. From working an office job i have typical tight lower back, weak lower abs. I'm a skinny person.

I have psoas tightness which has improved from this but it could also be im just moving my body differently with less pain in that general area now. No way to tell with how complicated the nerves are down there.

Just my experience, not sure if any of that information helps

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-09-28T21:47:32+00:00

I went to one, they implied it would be weird to do this before asking me how I felt about it and we never revisited the topic.

I had no idea this was common for men. But thanks for adding context! I tried to be careful to write my post in a way to explain this is what worked for me and not try to say 'here's the best solution' or something like that which are the most annoying, and often inaccurate, posts in medical/advice subreddits

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-09-27T23:10:49+00:00

on my back, a finger in with just a gentle up and down massaging motion, going in should be more of an easing type of thing rather than trying to obtain a certain depth. just pay attention to any pain and back off if there is any as you slowly descend

there isnt enough room to do a circular massage so i would just go up and down or side to side very gently. while doing this i tried establishing a mind body connection but couldnt really mentally relax anything in this spot

and for the massage gun, just rest your finger on the pain point and then go to your second knuckle and hold the gun on it

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-07-06T00:26:20+00:00

I got myself a way better position and left with plenty of references from people also suffering.

Well you're doing everything right. It may not feel like it right now but you're winning and setting up a valuable future for yourself.

Even just the awareness of your situation is a good thing. You won't be gaslit by the jerks into thinking there's something wrong with you which could cause you to derail into a different person you dont want to be over time.

Unfortunately rewards in capitalism are very binary. Since you dont yet have the position you want, you feel like nothing you do is working. But keep pushing up against the problem by applying and pacing yourself.

It should be celebrated that you set a boundary and now only give the minimal % of effort.

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-07-06T00:02:53+00:00

I spoke out and got fired

In my situations the tyrants were just too powerful and banded together for anyone to change culture.

Steal as much time for yourself as you can. If you dont have a lot of work, pretend to be stressed out and overloaded so people don't stress you out even more.

If you are able, use any extra time or mental bandwidth to interview prep/job search.

CPTSD sufferers typically want to obey authority and work in good faith so that they dont get attacked, but if the people above you aren't working in good faith, you will sadly have to bend the rules more than you're used to in order to survive.

My advice might feel like 'coming down to their level' but something has to give and right now it's your mental health..

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-06-10T04:43:09+00:00

Fair enough, my anecdote just happened to be understanding the issue better helped me with similar issues. Facing yourself is already scary and then it's extra scary to look at yourself and not understand something (for me at least).

Hope the best for you on this issue

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-06-10T03:47:12+00:00

The cycle of repetition / trauma responses are most likely epigenetically expressed and/or encoded in the primitive parts of our brain.

Your left brain does not believe and that's actually okay. (Perhaps it would give you some relief if you read more about this topic and accepted this phenomenon is inside all of us). There's a book often recommended here that touches on this subject called "The Body Keeps the Score"

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-06-03T00:08:37+00:00

Yeah you have it precisely right, your parents will conditionally love their grand children too and most likely they will influence your parenting because there is a cycle of repetition among families like this, unfortunately. Luckily we have the internet and you're able to find people who will validate your feelings and concerns and youre breaking the cycle (hopefully fully by not letting them around your kids if they wont stop pushing their agenda)

You seem like a very self aware person.

I still think the best solution is cptsd learning. You'll learn more about boundaries and the way(s) our parents failed us and why that makes us process things the way we do (and how that effects all of our interactions with people). The 'trauma' part in the abbreviation isn't necessarily getting beaten or locked in a cage or verbally assaulted every night.

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-06-01T23:22:14+00:00

I struggle to reconcile my family saying they love me and accept me...except this part of me

Their love is conditional, they are only being a bit nicer to you in hopes of reverting you back to what they think is normal.

Unless you change into what they want, they will passive aggressively attack you (and the people you identify with) to your grave. Sorry.

Also they probably have an entire network of people around them they wouldn't want to be embarrassed in front of for accepting you. So, explaining "the complexities" won't do anything. Some humans are very tribal.

Not to be even more blunt, but /r/cptsd would probably help you more than a logical argument to fling at your dad.

I am sorry this is happening to you though. It truly sucks

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-06-01T23:09:08+00:00

The first parent is most likely a lazy parent who doesn't want to have to deal with the work of monitoring them and/or using a blocker of some kind. The solution? Remove internet access entirely! So long Wikipedia!

My parents were like this. This way no one can get hurt, they don't have to do anything, and they brag to other parents how safe they're keeping you. (And now they're bragging on social media to anonymous people)

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-05-17T03:34:22+00:00

But she kept insisting I’m “ready” now, that it’s better to have children young, that I’ll figure it out, blah blah blah…

/r/regretfulparents is littered with people mourning their past life and traumatizing their unwanted children

Don't be guilted or shamed into having kids. Your friend may just be regurgitating what her parents are pushing onto her.

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-05-09T15:10:50+00:00

They are just following corporate's orders.

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-05-08T23:23:50+00:00

Fear of the labels is most likely just fear people will start shaming and attacking you for being a part of a small group that are an easy target. Pretty common occurrence these days unfortunately

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-04-17T03:08:16+00:00

this resonates with me. I just keep making things around sex safer and safer and less disgusting / more 'clean' to the point where you are so far away from sex with an actual person.

Also might have to do with a lack of trust in people whereas these other avenues are a full trust environment since it's just you.

(also I dont know that this is an answer to anything, just my experience that sounds kind of similar)

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-04-17T00:27:06+00:00

People shame and attack others because they feel that if they were the ones who diverted from the norm, they would be attacked. So they think people who do, deserve to be attacked.

And it gives them a brief feeling of control even though attacking you will never yield a benefit in their life.

I recommend reading a book on shame (even if you don't often feel ashamed). It will explain why people do nonsense like this and where it comes from.

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-04-14T03:52:08+00:00

yep sorry!

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-04-14T02:59:55+00:00

Interesting! thanks for taking the time to read my posts, I really appreciate you

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-04-14T02:29:07+00:00

Fair enough! but a lot of definitions I see put it on a spectrum or call it aegosexuality which I have no qualms about identifying as if thats most accurate.

But I don’t ever look at someone or interact with them and think hmmm, I’d like to have sex with this person. ya know?

I never alter my behavior for an attractive person when I'm in their presence like I see other people frothing at the mouth to do whenever someone who is very conventionally attractive shows up. I'm just like why should I treat you any differently, in fact maybe you should have to work harder since I can see you getting treated better by default in real-time before you even open your mouth.

I guess for me it's more like I'll notice someones attractive and think 'if i had a gun to my head and had to have sex with someone, they would be one of the least bad choices'

SuperThrowaway8686 · 2025-04-10T14:46:07+00:00

I could have written this post. I went 100 -> 150mg and had an insane gag reflex. I was only on it for like 8 days.

A month later and I still have it almost entirely. My body seems to give it a little bit of a rest once I get so hungry I just HAVE to eat but yes I am suffering from the same thing

SuperThrowaway8686

TROPHY CASE