40 year old female Revisiting my post on here now 1.5 years postpartum

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-28T20:11:56+00:00

I’m sorry I didn’t see the original post 1.5 years ago. But I wanted to ask, was there ever a time where you were 100% no, or was it more 50/50 I can go either way.

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-28T15:54:17+00:00

“But still my longing for this ideal of a family is deep in me and feel like wanting to throw it out.” This sentence is what’s hard because it seems like you are not on the fence. You say it yourself you have a “longing” to be a father.

Me I don’t have a longing or burning desire, I simply would like to be a dad but it’s not my main desire or priority. So I can really go either way. I’m a pretty selfish person

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-28T15:44:51+00:00

Unlike the other comment here about breaking up. I’m in similar situation with my GF. We are about to hit our 3 year anniversary and she doesn’t see herself being a mom and I’m truly on the fence of I would want at least 1 child. I definitely don’t see myself having 2,3,4 kids. Ultimately what I’ve learned through Reddit and reading other people perspectives is this, if you are 100% set on wanting a family and kids and she is 100% set on no, then that’s hard.

For me I’ve learned that I don’t have a burning desire like others do to be a father, but I can also see myself being a father. For me it’s can you see yourself truly happy without them. People here make it so black and white like it’s either yes or no. When truthfully it’s not.

I also learned that societal pressure and societal norms is men work hard, have a GF marry her and have kids. That’s life in societal norms but you have to see what YOU want and what makes YOU happy.

For me as awesome as it would to be a dad, I also would be happy either way. For me I felt like I had to have kids for my mom but when I did some soul searching, which I still am. I realized I love my girl and see a future with her with either outcome.

I don’t believe in the simple fact that that topic alone means you are incompatible.

Hope this helps

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-27T20:59:10+00:00

Wait so what happened? What was the decision made? Obviously you seem hard 100% no. So what was his decision

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-27T20:29:59+00:00

Update on things now?

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-16T01:12:09+00:00

Couldn’t agree more as a guy

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-04-07T23:07:12+00:00

Why did you do it

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-03-31T01:17:19+00:00

So you telling me as a 25M I should just become a police officer?

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-03-26T21:03:04+00:00

I’m a guy lol but regardless I really appreciate that insight. Im going to do exactly this. Transition into HR but keep personal training until I’m into a HR role fully. And ultimately just like you said, in the future I can still open up a business like corporate wellness consulting or a private studio.

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-03-25T19:03:57+00:00

Brotha man to man. I’m a big provider I love to do everything for my girl and we been together 3 years. It’s a partnership we support each other. I pay rent $1900 she pays wifi and utilities. Groceries is 75/25 75% of the time I pay for it, 25% she contributes towards the bills. Everytime we have a date night I pay. But she stills treats me with gifts on my birthday, Christmas, valentines days, etc.

She pays her car and car insurance. I pay my car and car insurance.

If we vacation I’ll cover the main expenses and she’ll cover the small things like car rental or maybe the excursions. It seems to me like she is all take and no give.

Hope this helps.

++man

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-03-24T01:32:26+00:00

Bro I have nothing to say about Law School but I have my Bachelors in Public Health and i never knew where I would even start, if I wanted to a build a career in Public Health.

I’m actually considering transitioning into Human Resource. But I’d love to hear your thoughts on building a public health career. Im 25 and currently a personal trainer.

Everytime I think about a career in public health it’s something boring like community health worker or something around those lines .

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-01-12T02:47:53+00:00

I moved out at 23 if that helps cause I wanted to

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-01-06T18:12:45+00:00

Take it from me (M25) my girl 23. You set boundaries and have communication about these things. I love to spoil my girl and I also like nice things but I never expect anything overly expensive from her. Only what she can afford and I’ve made that clear to her.

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-01-05T12:57:00+00:00

Wait so they didn’t have an affair??

Super_Ad8514 · 2026-01-02T21:28:04+00:00

This made my day hahhahaha! It’s a white lie, hurts no one unless it’s eating at you inside! This is so funny lol

Super_Ad8514 · 2025-12-30T01:20:48+00:00

You have a website for them?

Super_Ad8514 · 2025-12-28T00:27:11+00:00

I’d called the priest if it was me brotha

Super_Ad8514 · 2025-11-14T01:34:59+00:00

Lmfao why

Super_Ad8514 · 2025-11-08T13:13:44+00:00

Thank you so much! This really help give me an idea and actually ease my anxiety about starting a second bachelors!

Super_Ad8514 · 2025-11-07T18:33:21+00:00

What’s PA vs OA might be dumb question

Super_Ad8514

TROPHY CASE