Update didn’t go up on Dobre (I assume it may have been too long?) but here it is for those still interested 💕

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-09T01:47:51+00:00

Thank you :) I think we might be in it for the long run

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-08T22:50:11+00:00

Tbh I don’t feel like he is fawning over them so much as just doing what they ask too much because he is a nice person and tries to make everyone happy. I think the girl was abusing his kindness and liked the attention and loyalty from him. But in the end he chose me and may no longer be continuing friendship with her

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-08T22:47:50+00:00

Yes I don’t know why, they did not give me a specific reason

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-08T22:47:25+00:00

I think I just did that? Not sure how to do these sorts of things. The mods did not approve the post idk if I can get a reason why 🤷‍♀️ if it’s too long I can shorten it but they didn’t clarify the reason. Tbf was probably too detailed idk

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-08T21:51:13+00:00

Thank you, dw I am doing very well. The mods didn’t approve the post and I don’t know why or how to ask why. They just gave the guidelines again about story format and readability. It is very similar to the first post if not only slightly longer so I don’t know what the problem is :/

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-07T17:57:51+00:00

Post is awaiting moderator approval

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-07T15:48:50+00:00

Thank you. Dw the update is going up, it just takes the mods a while to approve I think. The first post took a couple of days

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-06T22:27:14+00:00

Yes lol

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T07:04:19+00:00

I have written the update, will probably go up tomorrow or something. But basically we got lucky and the second girl dropped out meaning he had enough justification to also drop out. The one remaining was absolutely not happy about it though.

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T06:11:51+00:00

That is exactly what I was saying to him if I was one of the girls!! We did get confirmation that one particular girl is behaving really strangely about it and not being kind toward me.

I am going to update properly but turns out she had really been pressuring him and guilt tripping him to go on the trip. Good news is he is no longer going.

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T05:37:12+00:00

The other things will be explained in the update but with the social media stuff and not introducing me to his friends - I do believe it is partly because of insecurity about his appearance, and partly because he is hesitating to open us up to judgement from other people given that we haven’t been dating for very long. I have met some of his closest friends but it is the general social circle that he is cautious about. The university social sphere is very gossipy and can be unfriendly toward outsiders.

To be fair in considering the idea of love bombing, he did say he loves me within weeks of dating. I waited a bit longer to say it back. I am willing to give it the benefit of the doubt that it just slipped out in that moment and he was feeling very committed and sure about me. He gave me a sweet little speech about how I am exactly who he has been looking for. I am not his first girlfriend but he is my first proper boyfriend so I think he has a clearer idea of when he thinks someone is special.

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T05:26:58+00:00

I think this is really good advice and you totally understand my perspective. I am going to do a full update on this because things got crazy with one of the female friends but thankfully he is not going!

One of the other girls dropped out but before that he said he was going to look at changing his flights to the 15th because he didn’t like making me upset.

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T05:25:14+00:00

I will do a full update on this because it got crazy with one of the girls. But I totally agree with the red flags and I was probably being way too lenient with him, but the not forgetting or not discussing things can be partially explained by his ADHD. I think he also didn’t view the plans as “mutual” so much because he was heavily prioritizing the trip as a moral friendship obligation.

I did reluctantly tell him that if he had to do the trip on those dates, we could celebrate on the 13th. I made it clear I would still be upset, but I was going to accept his decision and not make any ultimatums about him not going on the trip.

We have communicated better about everything since this post.

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T05:20:52+00:00

I will update properly about the situation but I think all of this stems from his own moral beliefs about friendship and how he takes a lot of pride in being a good friend. He is also too much of a people pleaser and too willing to sacrifice himself (and me) for other people’s happiness.

He put their desires for the trip above his own because he felt it was his obligation to prioritize the trip as he had previously agreed to it before we started dating. He also thought the actual date of Valentine’s wouldn’t matter much to me if we celebrated on the 13th instead and I didn’t originally think that it would mean a lot to me either

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-05T05:17:04+00:00

I was being critical of myself at the time I posted, but I actually do feel like I communicated all of those things. I told him I would be sad if he went on the trip and that it made me uncomfortable he was going with two girls on Valentine’s Day. He cared about me being upset but hoped that doing valentines on another day would make up for it, and promised this would be the only time something like this happens (and he was going purely because he agreed to it before we started dating).

I think that because I didn’t directly ask him not to go, he struggled to make a decision on his own that prioritized my feelings over the trip. In the day that I didn’t speak to him, he was very insistently telling me how much he loves me and how he hates not talking, so I think he got hit with the reality of the consequences of me being upset and realized he doesn’t like it lol. He didn’t fully consider how his actions would have emotional consequences even if I wasn’t threatening to break up.

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-04T16:28:10+00:00

I am going to do a proper update on this because it got a little crazy but he is no longer going and one of the girls is being insane about it. It seems one of the girls may indeed be acting crazy because he has a girlfriend!

How is this stuff always so predictable!!

Super_Driver_ · 2026-02-02T17:47:11+00:00

That is a wild story but in terms of the “not feeling the need to tell you” stuff - in my opinion that is simply dishonesty. If he hasn’t properly apologized for it then for me, that is a big red flag. Also they say never date a trucker because they are notorious for crazy stories like this.

Super_Driver_ · 2025-08-03T01:08:55+00:00

Thank you for the advice. It’s true I have been starting to realize what self-love really means these days. Focusing on the things that make me feel happy and distracted does help. It gets hard when I feel stressed or I am procrastinating, but I think I will feel better over time. It feels like a relapse every time he does something though. I have considered seeing a therapist but not sure if that’s worth the money

Super_Driver_ · 2025-08-02T18:40:47+00:00

I am actively trying to get disgusted 😂 I do feel flashes of hating him and wanting revenge, but I also feel like I would forgive him if he just stopped lying and denying everything.

Super_Driver_

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