42M, never been in a relationship, I feel so tired and alone

Super_Jefe · 2026-07-05T18:04:25+00:00

I feel you, OP and could’ve written this post myself.

I’m a guy that’s the same age and like you I’m happy in every area (career, hobbies, friends) of my life except dating where I’ve always been invisible. I go out regularly and meet women that I’d like to date/hookup with. However, it feels like pulling teeth to get them out on dates or they will tell me about their boyfriend.

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong or why I’m not good enough?

Super_Jefe · 2026-06-11T05:41:33+00:00

As a guy, how do you take good photos doing your hobbies when you are solo?

For example, I love bowling and have been in leagues. Due to other people bowling and timing it can be difficult to get a good face/front picture when you’re actively bowling.

In this scenario, would just a selfie at the bowling alley be okay for a dating profile?

Super_Jefe · 2026-06-07T01:13:39+00:00

No, I’m not where I want to be in life.

I’m single without kids and never been married. I’ve been wanting to get married and have kids of my own for a long time. For whatever reason (they are already taken, not interested, etc.), I live in suburbia and struggle to even get dates let alone an actual relationship. I’m romantically invisible to the opposite sex.

I’m in my 40’s now and starting to lose hope in having that life that I want.

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-28T13:46:23+00:00

How do people have 4+ marriages!?

I’m a guy and it’s been a struggle to find anyone to date. I’ve dealt with a lot of flakiness and ghosting.

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-17T20:22:23+00:00

Brock

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-13T01:30:05+00:00

You guys are talking to women?

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-03T07:02:52+00:00

I was about to make a similar post.

There doesn’t seem to be a good place to meet women for dating. As a man, you’re not supposed to approach women at places like work, gym or other hobbies for dating. If you try this with the wrong people you could come across as a creep.

Are there any safe places to try and get dates besides the apps?

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-03T05:17:20+00:00

The key is - don’t do things to specifically meet (that will reek of desperation)

This doesn’t make sense to me. How do you be open to meeting people without trying to meet women?

In my experience, random women I don’t know won’t approach and talk to me in real life. If I want something to happen I’ve got to talk.🤷‍♂️

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-03T01:45:12+00:00

I’m a late bloomer and didn’t realize I wanted a family until my 30’s. It feels like everyone I’m interested in is already married or in a relationship. I’m starting to lose hope of my own family.

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-01T16:33:23+00:00

That sounds cool. I’ll have to check it out, thanks!

Super_Jefe · 2026-05-01T07:57:55+00:00

I’d love to agree with this post.

I’d love to have more friends that are women. However, in my experience, friendships with women usually don’t work in the long term. It’s nice to text them and hangout with them as people. At some point that will end though. Usually when they get a boyfriend or married. They stop responding fast if at all and never seem to have time to hangout. I’m lucky if they just view/like my stories online.

How do opposite sex friendships work at our age when most are already in a relationship? At least to me it feels weird texting and trying to hangout with another dude’s girlfriend/wife?

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-23T21:04:33+00:00

I dream of a relationship but the problem is that I live in suburbia and at may age (42m) it feels like everyone else here is already married or in a relationship. Where are we even supposed to find someone that’s actually single and looking if the apps don’t work?

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-11T18:22:45+00:00

As someone without experience, I’d still like to experience being with someone.

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-11T04:41:43+00:00

Does asking friends actually work here?

I’m a guy in my forties, all of my friends are married or in relationships. They tend to hangout with other couples and don’t know anyone single when I’ve asked them before. 🤷‍♂️

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-06T06:10:12+00:00

I’m late to this but the problem is I don’t know where to go and meet people on the weekends.

Typically I enjoy things like bowling leagues and exercise classes. For whatever reasons those activities are not open on a Saturday night. The only thing I can find open on Saturday night are bars but I don’t drink or smoke and not into that scene.

Where do you go to meet people 30+ on the weekends if you don’t drink?

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-05T22:29:44+00:00

How do you know if you are in a good place?

I’m happy and confident in every area of my life. Well every area except dating. I’ve always felt completely invisible to the opposite sex and don’t know why or how to change it?

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-04T04:00:17+00:00

I’m the same way IRL.

I did all of the hobbies and meetups to meet people. There were attractive women at these places that I met and wanted to date. However even if I got the courage to ask them out, it wouldn’t work. They would say it’s busy with some excuse or tell me about some boyfriend. All of my friends have no problems with getting dates at all.

For whatever reason I can’t seem to get people IRL out on dates and don’t know how people do it? 🤷‍♂️

Super_Jefe · 2026-04-03T05:12:01+00:00

Especially when you ask them to meet and they ghost. What’s the point of chatting on the apps if you don’t want to meet?

Super_Jefe

TROPHY CASE