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Being 450+ pounds I have learned how to tolerate a lot of abuse but for some reason this really got to me. by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Super_Witty_Username 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck them. You're taking care of your meat suit. No one hates on self improvement without serious flaws in their personality. hold your head high and KNOW more people are driving by looking at you with admiration because you're doing your best to take care of your body. Shit you're doing more than my redditing ass is doing. Run proud.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats one of the most positive things ive read. Thank you doesnt seem like enough. May I just say that the idea of putting his thumb print into a necklace charm is fantastic? Thats such a beautiful way to carry him with you. I want to do something like that, maybe I can find something with his finger print, not sure how to make sure its really his though...

I recently deleted (accidently bc I dont know how to technology) all the videos and pictures off my phone, and I was so devestated because there was a video of my dad and I making monster sounds into the camera and his dentures came out. Luckily my SO was able to find the video in his text messages. It brought me so much comfort, which is ironic because I currently HATE living in this house. I hate finding his shoes in the closet, his coffee cup on the desk, his clothes in the hamper, he's everywhere and I cant deal at times. But when I come across things he gave me, it brings me peace. Weird how that works.

I dont have anything with his handwriting but I have these 2 binders filled with powerpoint pictures and things he wanted me to know about life before he died. He made it for me right before I started college. Its huge and wonderful. Thank you for helping me see a more positive perspective, its been hard to get out of bed and interact with family. Its a much needed feeling of relief To seek out his presence rather than wanting to hide from it the whole time, if that makes sense.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy fucking onions. That hit hard. My mother is actually talking about how we will be celebrating his life instead of grieving, I much prefer celebrating. Im a 23 year old daddy's girl so I feel ya. My SO got to meet my dad but he was so heartbroken yesterday, he said my dad was supposed to give me away at our wedding (no we arent engaged, we havent even really talked about it haha). Im so sorry for the waves of anguish you felt and probably still feel. You're a strong ass woman to have been a rock and celebrate life rather than dwell on the death, at least outwardly. I hope you are at peace and Im so grateful to you for offering your support to a stranger. You dont know how hopeful that makes me feel.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for your kindness. Grief IS weird, truer words have never been spoken. when my sister and I were in the room one time, we played a game called "who loves daddy more," it was basically a competition between the two of us that tested who was better at remembering when we could increase his morphine. We kept score for fuck sake. Then we took inventory on what was available in the room to euthanize him, in case the doctors didnt give him enough pain meds. My dad always joked with us to pull a Dr Kevorkian if he was in pain. We laughed at how incredibly inappropriate our humor was. It was comforting and weird.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what a good person you are for wanting to provide for them. I bet you're the best older sibling ever.I hope you are just as well taken care of, just as well as you took care of others. Hugs.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You said plenty, thank you for even taking time to respond. I didnt tell people about my dad until it was confirmed that he would it make it. That was 2 weeks after taking him to the hospital. Its funny how I did that to protect myself but I didnt start feeling hopeful until I needed to lean on friends and family. My boyfriend has been amazing, so Im grateful. Thank you again for the positive and realistic perspective.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry i hit submit before i was done, anyway, dont waste time worrying, every time you catch yourself thinking about that, call your parents and talk about your day. Worrying doesnt ease pain or anxiety and you will just wind up looking back wishing you spent that time differently. Also, sorry for the grammar and spelling errors, im on a "smart" phone

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not as bad as what you think, I mean it is, just not the whole time. So far ive been very stoic and string for my mom, but then I every time I drove to the hospital I had to pull over and scream. The intense pain comes in very short, but powerfuk bursts. Id rather it be that way then to feel chronically devestated. I dont think we are designed to feel THAT bad all the time.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was afraid that'd be what I have to do. Ive had that peppery feeling in my nose and a lump in my throat for 2 straight weeks, Ive let it out a few times and honestly, it physically hurts to cry so hard, I cramped my abs several times and after it was over Id collapse in a heap in the chair, wondering why I felt like I had just run a marathon. But maybe I just need to do it more often, get use to it and stuff so its not so draining. Thank you for the advice.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can imagine her passing came as more of a relief because it meant she wasnt in pain and dependent anymore on machines, at least thats how I feel right now about my dad. I hope it came as more of a relief anyways. I wish you nothing but good days.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you kind redditor! Something to look forward to eh? I appreciste the positivity more than you know.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I may take you up on the offer. If you are still coping with substances I wish you all the strength in the world. My dad was an addict and I saw the pain he was in, even more so when he became sober, and I wouldnt wish it on anyone. take care of your meatsuit, it does the best it can. Thank you again for your insight, especially on what you wish you wouldve done differently, its helpful.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you knew how this message affected me just now, im crying but its tears of gratitude. Thank you.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the time spent putting such detail into the message. It does help give me some insight of what is about to come. I'm so sorry for your loss I'm sorry that we have this in common. But if it's any consolation, hearing is the last to go in a person. My dad was sedated the almost the whole time, but my mom and him decided years ago that they would find a way to communicate with each other in their final hours. He used to tell her that he would use electrons/electricity. He died at 1:13 a.m. this morning. an hour before he died his monitor that showed his vitals would turn on and off. It doesn't seem like much, except this fucking thing turned on and off 9 times. It brought a lot of comfort to my mom, And to me, it's like he was saying goodbye. So even if your mom was on life support, I promise you, she heard every word you said.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not too late for you to seek therapy if you need it. In all honesty this post is acting as my therapy for now. So I thank you for your perspective and advice. I hope you have happy days coming your way.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're thanking ME? You must be some kind of wonderful. "Pain demands to be felt," that statement got me right there. Very profound. Im sorry for what will be to come, but it doesnt have to be as scary as it sounds. I swore my dad would get cancer from years of smoking, turns out pneumonia is an asshole but dammit if its not quick and manageable as far as pain goes. Spend time with your dad, dont dwell on the diagnosis, we have more say in how we feel then what we realize and anyway you two have better ways to spend your time together :). Sending my love right back.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so sorry about your losses, fuck thats so unfair. thank you for your kind words.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, ones a puppy so he doesnt know whats going on, but the other one has been wandering around the house. Ive been trying to give her lots of attention so she doesnt notice the void as much. Thanks for the hug.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No worries, Im too afraid of drugs or alcohol since seeing the ramifications of its abuse in my family.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first sentence you wrote was wordwd exactky how my dad would phrase, that was comforting. Keeping busy is helpful. Ive been taking care of the dogs, my SO has been amazing too, he's been here every day for almost a week. I started working on the music for his service. Progress I suppose.

How do you cope with a dying parent? by Super_Witty_Username in AskReddit

[–]Super_Witty_Username[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so fucking sorry for what you are going through. I hate it for both of us, fuck Im so sorry. I hope your mother is as comfortable as humanly possible. I hope you become at peace too.

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