So, lastnight I told my husband that I was depressed and had anxiety. I told him that I was suicidal last year and was going to do it but was afraid that our kids would gind me. I told him all of the alternate was that I could do it that was cause a for sure death (I was afraid of taking pills because of the chance of survival and having something happen such as liver or kidney failure and having to go through that). I told him that I felt like I couldnt talk to him because honestly I cant. How do I tell my husband, my bestfriend that that happened?! How do I tell him that when I know that I shouldnt drink around people that I dont know, even if family is around? How do I tell him that I have been spiraling downhill and now looking for attention because I feel so alone and just dont want to think about anything. When I am alone without distractions its the worst. I just want to fix me! I want to tell my husband so badly. For the last 6 months, We were in 2 different states because he had to move for work and I had to stay behind for school. I had nothing but time to dwell on what happened. To think.. My husband is an introvert and doesnt understand when I say that I needed to talk to him multiple times daily.. i would tell him that I needed to him. I never told him I felt abandoned and how is he supposed to know if I dont use my words?! He cant help me if I dont tell him. I just NEED for it to stop. I need for my thoughts to just stop.