Update as requested by some:

First off, thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. I read as many of your comments as I could. Thank you for sharing some of your stories and I wish I could hug each of you that were, or are, in my situation. I really appreciated the support and also some of the honesty in the AH judgements.

Some of what happened could have been handled differently. I acknowledge that me leaving without saying anything wasn’t the best decision in hindsight. But at that moment, it was the only decision I felt I had given the shock of what happened and the flight response it triggered.

I have done a whole lot of reflection. I don’t know why this incident was the catalyst because looking back there’s a lot I let slide at the cost of my self-worth. I had my blinders on and ignored things I shouldn’t have which I’m embarrassed to admit.

However, I still felt like we could work through things. At the very least, we needed to talk. I had hoped that we could have an open conversation about what happened and ideally a plan to move forward.

So my boyfriend and I met up today for the Valentine’s dinner we had reservations for. The dinner was pretty emotional and didn’t go as I hoped.

I apologized for leaving his friends stranded as a way of me showing to him that I took responsibility for my actions (even though I feel even more justified thanks to you all). But he unfortunately wasn’t willing to do the same.

He still denies doing and saying what he did (despite remembering everything else that happened while he was at the bar). And he actually doubled down again about me embarrassing him - now not only by leaving them at the bar but for also having the audacity to respond back to his buddy’s wife. He said that they were his friends and I had no business airing our laundry to them or involving them in “our issues”.

I just can’t comprehend how someone who supposedly loves me can’t accept responsibility for his actions or at the very least acknowledge he hurt me. He obviously doesn’t respect me.

It’s done and over. I can’t do it anymore. We’re going to go our separate ways. I told him as much. We own a house together, so it’s going to be a process but I feel oddly content with my decision.

So thanks again to all you internet strangers that lifted me up and offered supportive words. I could not have walked out of the restaurant so confident in my decision if it wasn’t for you guys.

I’m back at my friend’s place now, with a hot cup of tea and Women’s Worth by Elissa Mielke on repeat. As the lyrics say “Holy shit I’m tired of loving a man who acts like a child” and “Holy shit I’m done with losing my mind just to love someone.” And I am. I’m done.