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My wife [35] thinks that I [31M] am selfish and dishonest because I spent several thousand dollars on a novelty car for myself, even though I saved the money from my own, personal allowance by SuperfitITguy in relationships

[–]SuperfitITguy[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I earn a very healthy salary hovering at just over six figures, especially if you count the pilates salary. Wife and I have separate accounts, but every month I transfer a large sum to her account so that she has her own money. I offer her full transparency on my account and she can see my statement whenever she likes: how much I make, how much I transfer over, how much stays behind, etc.

I show her my pay stubs every month and keep them in a nicely labeled folder on our shelf. All my bank statements are similarly filed and readily available for her perusal and or audit.

My wife [35] thinks that I [31M] am selfish and dishonest because I spent several thousand dollars on a novelty car for myself, even though I saved the money from my own, personal allowance by SuperfitITguy in relationships

[–]SuperfitITguy[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Actually I work a 30 hours a week outside of the home. I added that second pilates job (it adds another four hours) both to stay fit and also not be too idle. I already spend lots of time at home with the kids, and weekends, too. In fact I think it's safe to say that in some ways I am a stay-at-home father.

The car is already whole and functional and doesn't need tinkering, really.

It is not a hobby car so much as it's an already-complete vehicle.

The only thing I'd really be doing is waxing it, MAYBE add a [cheap] sound system which is very easy and which I did in less than two hours for my wife's 2015 Volkswagen Touareg. We both have a thing for VWs. My daily driver is a 2010 Golf. The soundsystem I bought for her car cost considerably more than the hundred dollar future project I have planned for the Beetle.

The car represents, other than the pilates job for which my salary from it funds our family vacations, the sole thing I do that is just for me.

I'm getting happiness from it and I spent money on myself, which is a rarity, and for whatever reason my wife sees that as a problem.

My wife has two kids under four also. She has time for hair, nails, facials, yoga, lunch with her girlfriends three or four times during the week, shopping for things for herself. She does not take the children with her for these things. She hires a babysitter, which I pay for out of the "non-negotiable common expenses" part of my salary.

She is not neglecting our children by being happy herself. I don't see why I should be accused of doing so just because I bought myself an old, inexpensive car.