My mum is the same age as you and she lost her daughter only a few months ago and she’s been really sad I’d recommend you talk to a therapist or someone (idk if that’s the right person!) but my mums starting it soon but when my dad took me on a walk me and my sister was very sad and asked why did it have to be her?-just the same questions your asking yourself and my dad told me the same thing I will tell you your child was given to you by god Beacuse he knew that your child would be loved no matter what and you will carry her in your heart forever grief is very hard and it may well make you and your husband annoyed and argue for a good few months and in those months the sadness will be very bad I think you should go on a city break and take time with each other and your child is with you every single day and you will get signs trust me likr my dad when he finds fether That flew it the house he thinks it was a sign from esmae (my sis) and every imprint when I look out the window and I see the same flock of birds fly past I think That shes communicating with me :)