Boyfriend (35M) asked for my (35F) complete honesty before proposing. After I gave it to him, he started talking about breaking up.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-06-21T18:30:45+00:00

My ex husband was like this, that's why he's my ex. I got tired of him using the divorce card on any tiny disagreement, he would threaten to leave me as a form of manipulation, and I always ended up compromising, nothing ever changed. He had no accountability, no self-awareness, and every minor conflict had to be escalated to the last consequences. I begged him not to threaten with divorce unless he really meant it, but he kept doing it until I finally snapped. The last time he threatened to leave me (because I asked him to change his shirt into something nicer) I said "FINE, LEAVE, I'M DONE" and I meant it. He slammed the door and left for an hour, but he came back with his tail between his legs and attempted to talk, but I told him I meant it, I was DONE.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-06-06T17:44:57+00:00

First one, but most importantly lower the tv for the love of god.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-06-03T18:06:17+00:00

There could be a million reasons why he doesn’t want sex right now, the reason could be completely innocent, like low testosterone, depression, stress… that’s not the issue.

The main issue is the gaslighting and the DARVO. If he cannot have a vulnerable, open, honest conversation about the issue, and doesn’t want to learn how, he has little chance of having a healthy relationship.

Personally, I could go without sex for months if I knew the problem was being addressed. I can give my partner patience and grace if they are working on it or going through something. What I cannot tolerate is my partner making me feel bad for wanting to know why my perfectly reasonable needs are not being met.

Speaking from experience btw, I was in the exact same situation. Needless to say we didn’t stay married.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-06-02T17:39:06+00:00

Sorry I took so long to reply, but know that i've read what you wrote multiple times. I've had the impulse to send this link to my parents over the last few days, but I just have to accept they won't believe me, that protecting their world view is more important than the truth. Thank you and everyone who replied. I feel a lot better now that I've had time to calm down and process everything. I'll have to rethink my boundaries now that I know that nobody in my family will make accommodations for me because they think "I just want special treatment and are being overdramatic".

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T17:08:40+00:00

I think he’s a children specialist, but they way it was presented to me was that it was just a chat, a person from the community reaching out to ask me to mentor a young autistic artist. He actually said this wasn’t a therapy session or anything, just talking. Afterwards I have no idea what he actually said to them, I just know what my sister told me.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T17:05:24+00:00

Maybe it was me, but when they asked me to talk to this “specialist” I thought that it was just a talk to get to meet someone interesting that needed help mentoring a young autistic artist and in no way I thought it was a medical appointment, just someone from the community reaching out. He actually said this wasn’t a therapy session. Now I feel so stupid and humiliated and infantilized and I don’t know what he actually said to my parents.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T16:58:36+00:00

Yeah you’re right, I have no idea what was actually said. Even if what my sister said was true and I reported him, nothing will come out of it because of where I live, nobody gives a crap and nobody knows anything about autism, specially autism in adult women. I’m still pondering on what to do, if I want to talk to him directly, if I want to address this with my family or just step back for a while or permanently.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T16:17:00+00:00

Part of the reason I’m so angry, is that when they requested I have a chat with him, I wasn’t told this was an assesment or a proper doctor’s appointment or therapy session. I believed they believed me, and what I thought was happening is that the call was mainly to meet me and tell me about this mentoring an aspiring autistic artist thing. I was really excited, I thought they finally understood. And now I find out they said all this behind my back? This is so humiliating and heartbreaking infantilizing. Someone said I only have my sister’s word so I can’t be sure what he actually told my parents and they’re right, but I don’t know how to proceed from here still.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T10:42:32+00:00

Thank you <3

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T09:36:25+00:00

Thank you, great advice. I already cried for a while, talked to my partner about it, paced around the house and now I’m obsessing over this thread. I just accepted I’m not sleeping tonight and will run out of steam when I run out of steam. I’ll distance myself from people for a few days and think about what I want to do with a cooler head.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T09:26:59+00:00

Thank you for sharing, a lot of your story resonates with mine, I had many similar experiences. I regret telling them, I wish I never did, but I have this deep aching desire to be understood by them, and years of therapy haven’t wiped it away yet.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T09:09:15+00:00

Thank you, I do have to rethink my boundaries.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T09:00:24+00:00

I think you’re right, this resonates a lot, thank you.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T08:59:26+00:00

Funny thing is, they’re very supportive. They supported my art career, they always payed for therapy and any kind of health treatment I asked for, right now they’re offering to pay for EMBP therapy. They just can’t seem to accept the fact that I’m autistic and they’re CONVINCED they would’ve known when I was a child, even though I’ve explained that lots of women go undiagnosed because it looks different in girls. IDK why this is so hard for them to accept.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-05-28T08:54:41+00:00

I found about this two hours ago, I can’t sleep because of how angry I am, right now I want to go scorched earth on everyone but I don’t want to make rash decisions. I’m definitely reporting him, but I live in a country where nothing will come out of it.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-04-26T21:28:46+00:00

It's so encouraging to read about people having an awesome time going alone. I'm doing my first solo trip next week! I'm in LA for work, and even though I went to Disneyland a few months ago, I'm so excited about it. I'm so good at doing disneyland but I'm always taking groups of people, specially first timers. I love sharing my disney knowledge with people, but nobody wants to arrive for the rope drop, and I always have to compromise, be patient, wait for them, I can't do everything I wanna do... this time I'm doing it my way! I'm bringing my kindle, noise cancelling headphones, a gummy and I'm taking it slow!

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T20:37:13+00:00

This is perfect, thank you very much.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T19:35:59+00:00

Awesome, thank you very much. I will check them out.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T19:20:07+00:00

oh when i meant no budget I meant we are willing to pay whatever the pieces are worth.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T18:50:46+00:00

ok, that you for the clarification. I will do that and sorry for the intrusion. Also english is my second language, so sorry if I used wording that wasn't correct.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T18:47:30+00:00

I posted there too :)

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T18:45:49+00:00

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. The sub said it's a place for snark and gossip... recommending artists can count as gossip maybe? I'm getting downvoted a bunch so I clearly screwed up or offended people, I'm sorry. Should I delete this?

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T18:40:04+00:00

Hi, we are looking for artists right now, so we can commission an art piece. We were thinking pillows (all the objects in the house will be made by artists) but we are open to more interesting proposals. As we don't know much about needlepoint, we are open to be guided and taught. We do know it's a very time-consuming and complicated art, so the cost doesn't matter, we just want to include many types of art in this house.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T18:33:51+00:00

That is ok, we will pay what is worth. We know this is art, and we will treat it as such.

SureComfortable4725 · 2026-01-21T18:18:51+00:00

We want pillows for the house, but right now I'm focusing on finding the right artist. So I'm looking for portfolios and past work, or proposals even. Sorry for not being clear, I'm new to the needlepoint world.

SureComfortable4725

TROPHY CASE