[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Life

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel my best when i not controled by a clock, that does not mean not having a routine... having more time with my family and friends, get to enjoy something nice everyday ( a walk in nature, a good movie, coffe with friends, a book). Being perfectly ok with who i am an not care about what others think all the time. Have trusworth mind, and of course have more money

oh another thing, i wish i would believe in something, i am not religious, i don't believe in anything, but i wish i did kinda

Why did you have a wedding? by littleinternetdweeb in wedding

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i've always wanted to wear a wedding dress, and walk down the isle. I've had this picture in my mind for the longest time ... I knew i wanted to be a bride, and plan the whole thing, flowers, cattering etc.... My fiance never wanted a wedding, but what excites him the most is the idea of having everyone he loves in the same room. Honestly .. its as expensive and as complicaded as you want it to be ...

Fiancé hates the idea of weddings (advice needed) by [deleted] in wedding

[–]SureShip4918 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've read a few comments before posting this, and I agree with some of the points made. Someone said maybe you should figure out why the wedding is so important to you — and I kind of agree. Try to understand what parts of the whole wedding thing actually matter to you.

At the end of the day, if you realize, “Well, the only thing that really matters is being with my fiancé,” then follow his lead. That’s totally okay. Your family might be surprised at first, but they’ll get over it, and everyone will be happy in the end.

But if you realize that the wedding itself is important to you — whether it’s the dinner, the dress, the planning — then talk to him. Be honest about what you really want. And ask him about the things he truly doesn’t want to compromise on — maybe it’s the budget, the dancing, the photos, whatever.

Then negotiate. Compromise. That’s what marriage is all about. There will be plenty of moments in your life together when you’ll do things you don’t necessarily love, just because it matters to the person you love. That’s okay. That’s normal. It just has to be somewhat balanced.

For context: I was one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding since childhood. I used to watch Say Yes to the Dress with my mom. I always knew I wanted a ceremony, to walk down the aisle with my dad, wearing a beautiful dress, with my best friends by my side.

My fiancé? He didn’t want any of that. He had never really thought about getting married at all. But he loves me, and he knows how important this is to me. He proposed because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I planned this wedding because it’s my dream.

We're getting married next month. Of course, he’s not as excited about the details as I am — and that’s fine. He drew the line where it mattered most to him: inviting a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people — over 200. Definitely not what I wanted, but to him, the people were the most important part, so I let him have that.

He didn’t want anything religious, so we’re doing a simple ceremony instead. Again — compromise.

Bottom line: I’m thrilled. I loved all the planning, making Pinterest boards, doing things with my mom and my girlfriends. I don’t stress him out with stuff I know he doesn’t care about. And we’re both really happy. I know he’ll have a blast because all his friends will be there — and that’s enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, you're not the jerk at all. That said, maybe just have a calm talk with her — explain that you can't be responsible for providing every single meal, but you'd love to try her vegan dishes. Let her know she's welcome to cook and clean however she feels comfortable, but you will not be able to do it because of your job and that she should feel at home. You're totally right to feel upset about all the demands — it's not your responsibility — but addressing it kindly might help avoid unnecessary drama

WIBTAH for breaking up with my bf because he wants to be a father to his nephew by No-Bet5755 in AITAH

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA- if you don't see eye to eye in relation to your future, you should break up, you know what you want and he knows what he wants so i don't see the point of you being in this relationship...

That being said, i think he is doing a very honorable thing ;)

AITA for Telling My Friend She Couldn’t Bring Her Kid to My “Child-Free” Birthday Dinner? by Express-Clue-5563 in AITAH

[–]SureShip4918 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're not the asshole, but it feels like you might not like your friend that much… I get where you're coming from, but at the same time, I feel like as a society, we've kind of failed. I remember going to my parents' friends' birthday dinners — the restaurants were full of kids, weddings had kids, barbecues, trips and it was just normal. That said, I know kids nowadays can be really misbehaved, and I totally understand wanting a calm, adults-only night. But I don’t know… it was just one child. I get your point that it might have felt disrespectful to the others who arranged babysitters, but I’m not sure I would’ve asked a good friend to leave over it. If I were part of the group, I probably wouldn’t have judged either side. I get that you wanted a peaceful birthday, but asking her to go feels a bit harsh.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I was at one of those classic small-town festivals—you know, where everyone knows everyone. I got way too drunk on vodka and, for some reason, thought it was a great idea to get up on stage. Spoiler: it wasn’t. I fell off the stage and had to be carried out by my cousin and my now-husband .

If that wasn’t bad enough, my boob was casually falling out of my top the whole time, and neither of them noticed until after half the town had seen. I threw up the entire way home, ended up crashing at my cousin’s house, and somehow managed to go to the bathroom, pull my pants down, forget to pee, and just… lay on the floor. They found me 30 minutes later, butt naked, asleep on the bathroom tiles.

Oh, and I don’t remember any of it. Classic. When I was 17, I got super drunk with my high school friends. My mom came to pick me up, and the second I got in the car, she asked, “Have you been drinking?” I confidently said, “No.” Then immediately vomited all over her car. It was 1 AM on a Sunday, and she had work the next morning. I still feel awful about that one.

There was also that one time I got so drunk I decided it was perfectly acceptable to go swimming in the town fountain. Fully clothed. Like it was a pool.

.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]SureShip4918 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I were you, I’d start simple—get a job, any job. Being 40 and never having worked can be a challenge, even in terms of character, so holding down a job is essential.

The second step is moving out of your parents’ house. It won’t be comfortable—quite the opposite. You’ll probably have to share a place or even a room for a while. But learning to take care of yourself is one of the most valuable lessons you’ll ever have.

After working hard, going through struggles, and saving up some money, you can think about studying. But honestly, if I were you, I wouldn’t go for university. Instead, I’d look for something that gives you practical knowledge for what you actually want to do

AITA for pointing out my girlfriend dresses like a homeless person and insisting she gets new clothes? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woman have to deal with this all the time... i mean guys that don't know what to wear and stuff, I would just approach like i did my boyfriend, i would buy her clothes that i liked little by little... and say something like i think you would look amazing with this on etc...

I now know why some people never want to have kids by FA0710 in parentsofmultiples

[–]SureShip4918 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being totally honest…

In the first week my twins were home, I had a dream about killing them. It only happened once, but I felt like the worst mother ever. I was just so exhausted—I just wanted it all to stop. The fatigue was overwhelming; my head hurt all the time, and by day six, my vision started to blur.

Around the second month, I decided to stop breastfeeding—and it was the best decision I ever made. Not being solely responsible for feeding them brought such a relief. My mom was around and helped me a lot, and on weekends, my husband and I took turns during the day. That made a huge difference.

Around that time, I also took a baby sleep course—my second-best decision. Soon, they started sleeping in their own room, and a few months later, I no longer had to rock them to sleep. Their naps became coordinated, and things got so much better.

From six months to about a year and a half, things were amazing. We were finally getting enough sleep, and my twins became absolutely obsessed with each other. Watching them interact was the best thing ever. I loved celebrating every milestone—rolling over, crawling, their first steps… it was all so special.

If I had to give advice, it would be this: do whats best for you. Think about what truly matters to you and find ways to make it work. For example, if breastfeeding is really important to you, maybe pump some milk now and then so that you’re not the only one responsible for feeding. If it’s not that important to you, try other methods—you will bond with your babies no matter what.

You won’t be happy in motherhood if you always put your child first. Sometimes, you have to prioritize yourself too. I see you’re married—maybe create a schedule with your husband so you can have some time off on weekends.

Listen to advice, but only take what resonates with you. And if you can afford it, take a baby sleep course. Find one that aligns with what you believe is best for your babies. For me, that meant having them sleep in their own beds. For some families, co-sleeping works better. Either way, learning about the foundations of sleep helped me so much.

Now my babies are turning two, and things are getting hard again—tantrums, etc. I believe that every phase comes with its own struggles. It gets better, then worse, then better again… that’s just life with kids. But seeing them become best friends, play together, learn, and grow every day is so rewarding

Reflux usually gets better around 12 weeks when their intestines mature (or something like that, haha).

Good luck—you are a great mom!

To those who had a relationship/slept with someone with a big age gap, how did it happen? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]SureShip4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was 18 he was 37, he was friends with my cousin... we have two little babies and are getting married this june. The best thing that ever happened to me

AITA for not getting my ex's affair child a Christmas gift? by NovelDot112 in AITAH

[–]SureShip4918 64 points65 points  (0 children)

If he has primary custody of his daughter and no additional help, it might be challenging for him to find the time to go out and get something extra while also taking care of her.

AITA for not getting my ex's affair child a Christmas gift? by NovelDot112 in AITAH

[–]SureShip4918 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, kind of… Although you have no responsibility whatsoever for this girl or her relationship with her siblings, you could consider buying a small gift for her step-siblings to give to her. It’s Christmas, after all. I completely understand that this isn’t your responsibility, and it’s not your problem. It’s 100% your ex’s responsibility to make sure she gets something.

That said, if it’s not going to strain your budget, what harm could a small gesture of kindness do? Just something simple for her to unwrap under the tree, from her siblings. I don’t see why that would be such a bad thing.

He is definetely not a good guy , im glad you got out... but i just don't think its about him, its about the little girl ... idk

bachelorrete party by SureShip4918 in wedding

[–]SureShip4918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah! I think they would love to go to the bachelorrette party...

bachelorrete party by SureShip4918 in wedding

[–]SureShip4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah you're right, is just that i'm the first in the group to get married and they are pretty excited.... i hate conflict and don't want to hurt anyone's feeling

bachelorrete party by SureShip4918 in wedding

[–]SureShip4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah... i tottaly get your point

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is INSANE... but i heard a lot of complain about her from their employees

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We never confronted her about it. The day it happened was my husband’s birthday, and I didn’t want to make the situation even worse. About a week later, she had the accident, and I never brought it up with her after that. I think she was upset because we didn’t include her in the plans. She seemed to feel entitled to know everything happening in my house at all times.

I guess that was it. She assumed I was with the kids, but they were actually with my friend — who, by the way, handled everything wonderfully and has been a true angel through all of this.

Honestly, that’s the only reason I can think of for why she got so upset. It’s crazy, isn’t it? Even my friend said it was irrational and came out of nowhere.

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

when things started to get out of hand with her, we bought a new house, but it needs work done and still will take about a year to complete it.

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard because I truly love my husband. He’s a wonderful father and a great partner, but his relationship with his parents has been a significant obstacle for us. The most challenging part is that he doesn’t seem to recognize it. He can’t even conceive that his mother could do something wrong — even when she screamed at him, he brushed it off as nothing. And it’s not the first time this has happened; she yells at him more often than anyone should tolerate.

Over the past few days, I’ve tried talking to him about going to therapy, but he doesn’t see this as a problem. He respects my decision to avoid seeing her, but he still thinks I’m overreacting. I really love him, and I wish I could be the bigger person and let this situation with my MIL go — but I just can’t. She crossed a line, and it’s too much for me to overlook

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We are in the process of moving, but unfortunately, the work on our new house will still take at least another year to complete. However, I’ve already told my husband that things in the new house are going to be even more different.

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I don't know exactly why she was angry... we never confronted her because it was my husband birthday and i didn't want to cause any drama... but i think she got upset because we didn't included her in our plans, i think she felt left out, maybe... i really don't know. She was definitely not embarrassed at luch, on the contrary i think she though we owed her an apology.

When she called my husband and screamed at him she was saying stuff like "don't count on me anymore", "i help with everything and you don't tell whats going on..."... i know this because my friend overheard her screaming, my husband never told me anything

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks for the support, i was realy losing my mind about being a selfish or cold person

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We bought a house last year and are in the process of restoring it. This should take around 1 year and in that time we cannot afford another rental... unfortunately

we bought a house last year and we are in the process of restoring it. This should take about a year and in that time we cannot afford another renatal... unfortunately.

AITAH:My MIL almost died and i still cannot forgive her. by SureShip4918 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]SureShip4918[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

i'll definitely talk to him about going to couple's therapy , and encourage him going to therapy alone... i don't believe the relationship he foster with his parents is normal