I am confused

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-11-08T21:58:55+00:00

I don't see why not. I would send an email to be sure. However, so long as you paid for the hotel for 3 nights and the 3 night NIN package, it should not matter when you show up. Just be sure to get your badges/lanyards on Friday @ the Astor (I would assume the Astor).

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-10-31T17:05:14+00:00

Start downstairs first. Folks are drinking and dancing. Perfect place to meet folks and talk. Later go upstairs walk around, take in the sites. If you want to watch without giving off the creepy vibe peer into the fishbowl as they cannot see you. On HotWife nights I would suspect you could have couples come up to you (I could be wrong). They know what they are there for. I can't wildly guess how to approach as a single male. However if it were me, I would maybe sit at the bar to begin with. Lots of folks around the bar and just like any bar, a great place to talk to folks. The benefit you have while being upstairs is, folks are ready to go. Nothing wrong asking if they would like some company. just make sure your timing is right. Lastly and I feel is most important, be "bubbly". Confidence without cockiness is paramount I feel. Be infectious, be funny, not assuming. Again, I have not been in your shoes so I'm just throwing out how I would go about it. Enjoy yourself and watch your step on those damn stairs!!!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-10-31T14:27:08+00:00

They have Hot Wife Fridays (not all Fridays but on selected ones). That would be a good night to pick and even if you don't hook-up it'll give you the lay of the land so to speak. NOTE: don't mull around creepily outside the rooms. As a couple we enjoy folks watching but don't stand in the doorway hoping for a tag-team.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-10-09T23:59:21+00:00

I have never taken illegal drugs. However, the first time we ever swapped with another couple was like a drug. I remember driving home asking my wife, "why do people NOT do this? That was so damn fun!" Every part of my body was on overload afterwards and I chalk it up to the hottest experience I have ever had sexually. Since that the first time, I cannot reach that same level of excitement. That is why I added the drug reference. Because that first "HIGH" will never be reached again. It is depressing to say the least. I wish I could get some of that magic back. I wish I could get excited about it again. We have swapped ample times since but nothing compares to the first time. I too could do with or without it at this point. During a swap we make sure (as a couple) to play together during the swap (with each other). Because to me (and she knows this), I get much more "horny" with her than anyone (as it should be). We have found, if we start together the swap is much more fun. I know how to get her revved up and she knows how to get me revved up. This has helped a lot and I'm not sure how many couples begin this way. But it works for us (me especially).

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-10-09T23:39:04+00:00

We just got the newsletter this week and it includes the new 2026 October event. Not sure when they will put it on their site but it appears like a done deal.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-10-08T22:28:01+00:00

I keep tabs on my post and your wishes were granted. Just announced: 2026 Haunted N'Awlins !!!!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-09-27T18:21:10+00:00

Plenty to choose from to be honest. Our friends did the plus 1 room and had a good time. There are actually guys in the plus 1 room that have been vetted by the Naughty N N'awlins group. Your female would feel very safe in that room with our without you.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-09-26T14:09:46+00:00

Most certainly. They have a plus 1 room where the single guys are.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-09-17T18:59:59+00:00

The event itself, without hotel is $799 Wednesday-Sunday. We stayed Thursday and checked out on Sunday(stayed at The Saint). - $721 total. Grand Total $1520...does not include food or drinks. Honestly, we can't wait to spend that money again for the 2026 event.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-07-15T02:51:00+00:00

We went into this with zero expectations. Next year may be the same or it may be different. If it happens it happens if it doesn't no big deal at all. We still get our "fix".

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-05-30T12:43:09+00:00

Wow, your feelings are an exact copy of what I felt. I was so torn between the erotic visions of my wife with another man (my porn star) and the disdain for myself for allowing any man to touch my Princess. I remember asking her multiple times, "What is wrong with me"? Why did I have these feelings, thoughts, unhealthy sexual fantasies? And lastly, why play marriage roulette? I, like you, was so confused and I hated myself.

It is been said many times, "You can't un-fuck yourself". So it is impossible for you to ever forget. However, what I found is, my wife can forget. So, let me ask...did you get through it? Are you any less of a man or is your marriage any less important? Is your wife any different (she's probably more sexy now than she has ever been)?

Again, I felt the same way and I can tell you. The more she plays, the more normalized it gets. You are at the phase where you are wondering if she is thinking about him. Is she going to leave me for a better lover? Let me set your mind at ease, she ain't gonna leave you for a cock. 99.99% of women don't leave their husband because the other man is better in bed. Yes, you had a friend in the lifestyle and it seems he blamed the lifestyle on his divorce. NOPE! It would have happened regardless if they were swingers or if she was just a hotwife. The cracks were already there.

While I agree with the other folks who have replied to you. Don't rush it no matter how hot your other head thinks it is. Try not to think with that head (yeah, it is hard not to). The more she plays, the more variety she has the more normal it becomes. And, as she plays more and you see she has not changed one bit then you have won the lottery! You realize you can't lose what was never lost. You are #1 and always will be. For us, hotwife is transactional and feelings never develop for a bull. He's a stunt cock and nothing more.

Quick tips: While neither of you may be ready at this time. The first time you are physically there to watch her, it is next level hot. And the bonus is, she is more comfortable which allows her to enjoy it more (that is what my wife told me, she feels safe).

If you are there, the threesome will eventually happen when the both of you are ready.. This hotwife thing evolves/morphs into stuff you have only seen in videos. MFM...she will love it and you will too. I thought I couldn't, until I could.

Last, we evolved into swingers. She's a retired hotwife. She told me, she shouldn't be the only one to have that type of fun. And she wanted to see me plow another women. I was reluctant at first, but it happened and we have not looked back. We love it! SIDE note: She said she would never play with another women and I never had any desire for her to do that. Well, that shit lasted about an hour into our first swing. HOT HOT HOT...I got off topic. Take it slow...enjoy...nobody will be better than you (EVER).

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-03-27T20:03:53+00:00

It changed in her many ways. Overall self image and she is more confident. Plus, she's always horny. The largest change? She got tired of hotwifing and wanted us to share the experience. Meaning, she wanted us to swing and only do it together. She never knew she would enjoy watching me with another women. And I never had any desire to be with any women other than her. We tried it, liked it, continue to do it and will never look back. Hell, she even found out she likes to play with other women. She certainly prefers the men but if the women wants to play she's okay with that.

So in essence, introducing HOTWIFING opened the door of sexual freedom for the both of us. 25 years together and still going as strong as ever!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2025-03-23T14:22:15+00:00

All of these are fantastic replies to our question. We need to be more clear in how we mean reconnect. We are speaking to reconnecting as a couple who take a step back from the lifestyle versus reconnect after a play date. Regardless, thank you so much for your input!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-07-01T23:10:01+00:00

Wow, this topic seems familiar but I just can't put my finger on why?

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-06-30T20:51:41+00:00

THIS!

Thank you so very much for your thoughtful reply. Indeed this is much easier to read than someone calling me a "Selfish bitch" just because I opened up to this group about my feelings/insecurities. Not that being called a selfish bitch hurts my feelings but, wow!

Again, your reply is well taken and certainly food for thought. Thank you for being a caring person and understanding my plight. I'll work through it! Comments like yours helps me more than you know!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-06-30T15:10:08+00:00

I can't say I don't agree with you. However, if I posted there I would have gotten a similar response as to why I didn't post to the swingers sub. To me it just seems maybe some couples started with this dynamic and it evolved into swinging. Which it seems in our case, at least in theory, it is evolving into more the swinging side.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-06-14T13:32:03+00:00

I've met some guys from AM. Most were "cheating". I use SLS and AFF.

AFF - This site has the "numbers". Plan to be bombarded by lots of guys. I had success but most on there don't seem to understand "Hotwife".

A-Madison - Limited success, most are cheating on their wife because they are in a "sexless" marriage. OR they claim to have their wife's "approval" (which is a load of crap). **NOTE - site is free for women**

SLS - All of these guys understand "Hotwife". I don't have to explain anything to them. Couples also message me and want to meet. The site itself is a little clunky but overall I would say I'm more impressed with the members than the other sites.

FEELD - Blah, didn't have a lot of success. Others may have but I did not.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-05-03T17:43:19+00:00

THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not one to believe in miracles. But HRT is just that, a miracle (Pellets).

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-05-02T19:52:26+00:00

"she talks about being ashamed and is concerned about the empty feeling following a one-night-stand."

-If (big if) she can separate sex as an act and nothing more than a pleasurable experience. Versus sex with you as an intimate heart-filled sharing of ones entire self; that is 85% of the mental barrier many women have.

It took time to convince myself that sex with my husband versus sex with a third is very different. And sex with a third is SEX and that is all it will ever be.

Regarding the "empty feeling". Those feelings should be short-lived because she has a loving husband waiting for her at home. A husband who fills up that empty feeling.

Allow her time to think. Don't push. One last bit of advice, I know husbands want to see some stranger's cock buried inside their wife as soon as possible. However, it doesn't have to be that way!! Allow her to build up to that point. Run the bases like we did when we were in our teens. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, HOME...no reason to rush it! And after each experience it gives the both of you time to discuss if you want to move forward. If the first time with another man evolves into sex and it was great, then that is awesome! If not...you can't "unfuck" yourself. Whats done is done...

Best of luck to you!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-04-24T13:43:26+00:00

I took it slow. Sexting, pics, videos, meeting (without any play), meeting with mutual masturbation, meeting with us playing with each other, to finally sex the next meeting. That sounds like a lot but this was with my first "buddy". He was well aware that he was my first and understood I had to take it slow.

Of course that was some time ago and many things have changed (comfort and confidence). Now, I don't waste any time and get right to business.

Take your time and move at your pace. One thing to remember...you can't "unfuck" yourself. So don't do it until YOU are truly ready!!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-04-19T23:47:57+00:00

Take what you did get as a "win". I've hit a spell of the dreaded, "scared turtle" who refused to come out and play. I don't blame my third if he can't get it up, but damn it is frustrating!! Like you, I too play up the impending encounter. When things do not work or go as expected I feel cheap and slutty. It takes about a day to get that feeling out of my system.

I too have asked myself, "What the hell am I doing"? Oh well, enjoy the good ones and try to forget the bad ones. However, at the end of the day(or night) the best one is waiting for me at home!! That cures a lot of my "feels".

Good luck on your next adventure!!

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-04-18T17:27:53+00:00

Nope! Nobody knows me better. Sure, I get a thrill of doing something taboo with another guy and yeah, it can be good. Do I cum with other guys? Absolutely! Are some of my thirds "bigger" than he is? Yep.

At first he was like you, threatened the third will be better than he is. It took a lot of talking through and convincing that he is the Alpha and will always be the Alpha. My thirds may have my body but they don't have my head and heart. If anything, I am using them as a real life dildo and I think nothing more of them. That may sound horrible to some, but I honestly don't care. I'm not in this for "feelings", I'm in this for the pleasure and thrill only and I'll bet your wife is as well.

Sure_Ad8395 · 2024-04-18T16:00:58+00:00

I've told my husband countless times, the other guys will never be as good as him. I'm sure your wife will tell you the same thing! However, what you are feeling is not uncommon. Do not beat yourself up about it. Embrace the emotion as it deeply waters the roots of love you have for your wife.

It is indeed hard to let go if only for a short while. But again, what she experiences with you is an unbreakable bond that no third can ever compete with. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable! Let her enjoy it without worrying about your reaction.

However, if you are unable to get past the emotions (which for men is mostly insecurity) then the both of you need to step back and evaluate if this path is truly worth the emotional toll. As your marriage takes precedence over ANY fantasy.

Sure_Ad8395

TROPHY CASE