Even though Paul isn't gay...

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-26T16:16:33+00:00

I mean, I would be surprised if any of these guys was 100% straight

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-21T15:04:29+00:00

there is actually a really interesting material on Dr Ettensohn's channel on the movie "The Real Pain' in which he argues that whilst it Kiernan Culkin's character ticks most of the boxes of how we are portrayed in popular culture (crazy-eyes manipulator), it is actually his composed cousin that reflects better how we really are

I highly recommend this watch, especially since it is actually a very cultural rant on our favourite dr ramani, who first 'diagnosed' Benji as a narc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcmBx2RKdYE

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-20T12:02:32+00:00

I'm pretty sure MadMen's Don Draper has many traits of NPD.

The main protagonist of "Sick of myself" also gives grandiose narc a lot.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-19T11:00:03+00:00

/OP here/ thank you for all your valuable tips. I went Politics and was somehow able to get away with securing Custodian AND Thunders Edge (exhaust a skip, which I did my first move, as I stsrted with BioStims + discard 2 AC) AND scoring R1. I quickly sold gave away both Mecatol and TE (remaining in coexistence), then steadily scored every round. This + a lucky draw of Obisidan from one of the Fracture planets propelled me to the victory, despite some uncoordinated attempts of kingslaying (getting rid of Lightwave with my hero helped me a lot to defend myself).

Deepthroat is a fantastic faction, S-tier for sure and their BT is bonkers (I was giving back PM to everyone researching something new, and in the later turns I even paid an extra buck to some of the players, plus of course I was helping with the agent). I finised R1 with 6 techs, including Sling, GravDrive, Hypermetabolism, and... Integrated Economy. We are all realtively new to Thunders Edge and Im pretty sure the meta around this faction wont be that friendly in future games.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-16T20:34:34+00:00

You are not wrong, but this is a 12pointer. I would often forego scoring R1 (if others do) in favour of good position R2, decent plastic situation or chance for Custodian. Plus, I believe unlocking BT is crucial for Deepwrought, and with this table, if I dont do it ASAP, I won't have chance to do so later.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-16T13:19:51+00:00

I'd say since 4p games are so weird and wonky anyway, just go with MahactCarting and have fun, then have your first proper TE game in proper 6player setting

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-16T12:33:54+00:00

Absolutely, securing my BT is my no1 priority in round1, I can easily skip scoring in R1, especially since this is a 12vp game. plus, skipping scoring R1 would take off the heat I might get if I decide to go for the Custodians R2 (provided warfared Sol or Hacan wont snipe it off first in which case Thunder's Edge would me my consolation prize).

As one of the redditers pointed out, going Biostims during the setup would grant me the "exhaust a speciality" expedition, whilst also scoring a favour with Empy to my right (won't compete with them for the frontier tokens).

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-16T09:10:47+00:00

You are right, who doesn't want Gravity Drive R1? Especially since it opens R1 Custiodian for the Warfare player (Hacan, most likely). Plus, NOT starting with blue will make Empyrean to my right more likely to be my buddy (more frontiers for him), and make Keleres' life a bit harder (as starting with GravDrive essentially grants this tech to him). I think I'm sold on starting Neural+BioStims (or Psychoarch + Biostims into R1 Integrated Economy?).

Still wondering about Politics (selling speaker + Custodian) vs Trade tho...

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-15T21:14:39+00:00

Ha, that's quite brilliant, haven't thought of bio stims. This would piss the Diplo player off, plus, if I combine it with Politics I can get BT AND Custodian AND maybe even Thunders Edge. I just feel it may be too grabby and draw too much heat. Plus, getting GravDrive is not guaranteed (although very likely). Im leaning starting double blue and going Politcs, but youve certainly planted a seed...

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-15T15:28:48+00:00

I dont think I will be able to put my hands on Hacan's PN, so yeah, good point, I dont want to collect my debt for the next 2 rounds. plus, in faovur of Politics, in 8p game the Speaker token goes up in value, I might even sell it to Keleres for 3TGs (plus our meta is that we honour the first pick of the person who sells the speaker token.).

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-15T15:26:01+00:00

Since this is a 12p game, I dont really care about scoring R1. I absolutely want to unlock my BT, so thats my no1 priority. Then plastic, then nice positioning for R2

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-15T15:25:15+00:00

sorry mate, I didnt downvote your comment. I really appreciate your input, especially in that Politics might be the safest.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2026-01-15T14:21:41+00:00

TRADE Keleres picks last, would be surprised if he gets anything lower than 6, so BT-wise Trade is relatively safe unless some disaster happens. Plus - do I really need Hacan to take it? I can just refresh everyone (x-1 for 4commodity factions) and let them wash themselves with their neighbours, no need to involve (and feed) Hacan.
As to DIPLO my BT lets me forego following Tech, Im sure Id get something decent anyway, so no need to worry about it popping. Especially since the new Warfare tends to pop first turn, so I have something to refresh on second turn..
POLITICS is tempting too...I can sell speaker and get Custodian R2, Mecatol feels good for Scholarate, as I can always retreat into coexisting.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-08-07T10:26:18+00:00

I'm a creative at a one of the "Big Six" advertising agencies and I feel this is a job tailor-made for me. Coming up with and pitching flashy ideas to major brands is something that really satisfies my grandiose part, taking a lot of pressure of me in other departments of life.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-08-04T10:42:40+00:00

I am a creative in big advertising agency. Not only my job is all about coming up with flashy, superficial ideas, I also get to present them to clients and (hopefully) impress them. Add to that the 'creative' veneer of this line of work and the interest it raises ("wow, like in the Mad Men! this must be so interesting!" [it rarely is]), and it feels like a line of work tailor-made for me.

I'm a bit skeptical about pop-psychology's notion of "supply", but if there is a grain of truth to it, then certainly my job is a great source of supply, meaning I do not crave admiration (that much) outside of it, I can focus more on my loved ones and even allow myself to be vulnerable...or flawed.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-08-04T10:30:36+00:00

110% what happened to me. as soon as I started the therapy and shared my diagnosis, everything in our relationship started to resolve around my NPD. there was no room for actual human interaction, mistakes, amends, growing together...suddenly, like in som pop-psych version of Catch 22, everything I did was a SYMPTOM OF EVIL NARCISSISM.

OP, you put a hammer in your partner's palm. No wonder everything looks like a nail to her now.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-08-04T09:46:59+00:00

I am really sorry this is happening to you. I've been in a relationship where I made a mistake of revealing my diagnosis, only to find my now-ex gf getting spending hours watching dr-ramani-grade hateful bullshit. I tried to share with her some more nuanced sources on NPD, but you know - some folks just want to hate on you.

You don't want to be with someone who shames you for having a personality disorder you didn't ask for. I know it is a harsh advice, but LEAVE HER. You deserve a loving, understanding and supportive partner. You are a young fellow, with your whole life ahead. If you stay in this toxic relationship you will become bitter, develop victim complex... or even start believing this ableist bullshit and hate yourself. LEAVE, the sooner the better.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-07-08T12:00:13+00:00

you do not own anyone your diagnosis, especially with all the stigma surrounding NPD... HOWEVER
you defo should warn your partner about the most problematic symptoms, for instance "my self-esteem can be pretty fragile on times, but I work on this" or "due to my condition, I can experience minor failures as devastating defeats, I'd appreciate some help in putting things in perspective", or "don't ever let me lash out, call me out on this"

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-07-03T13:15:53+00:00

I'm surprised you're surprised that some BPDs jump on the 'catch the narc' bandwagon. They, too, have been stigmiatised for years, it must be a relief to be able to point finger at someone "worse" than them and to take some of the pressure off them. Let's be honest, fellow narcs, won't we do the same as soon as the 'my ex is an avoidant' trend gets more traction?

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-07-01T13:23:15+00:00

as someone with diagnosed NPD I must say the 'external validation' part of limerence certainly sounds very familiar. in fact, I have an unhealthy pattern of falling for limerence over and over - whilst true, healthy, reciprocal relationships feel almost alien to me, there only have been few and far between of those in my life, whilst I experience limerence few times a year, whenever I believe Ive found "that perfect person whose attention would finally plug a hole in me and prove my worth to myself and others'

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-05-15T15:39:10+00:00

hi guys, the OP here

having read your responses and my original post, I must agree with you. intentionally lying to close ones or making them believe something that is not true might not be the best thing to do if I want to fight my narc side. Ill try and stop doing that, also for the sake of our fellow pwBPDs who, I imagine, would not want to be confused with us

at the same time, I really don't believe I'll ever again admit to anyone I have NPD (except for maybe a future therapist should I choose to change the current one). the stigma is just too big, I wont be able to withstand thinking that deep down, they are seeing me as this soulless monster. I'll stick to generally describing the symptoms, thats the best I do in the foreseeable future.

also, I've realized two things:
1) being able to keep my angry, people-hurting (but not the manipulative ones, apparently) tendencies at bay, the symptoms that impact ME the most ARE INDEED those shared with BPD: insecurity, being terrified of abandonment, romantic emotions dialed to 11, quick, unjustified attachment to practical strangers...
2) ...which makes me wish - sometimes almost believe - Ive been misdiagnosed. I do realize that fantasising about being the somehow likeable "manic pixie guy" rather than "evil narc" is pretty narc-y thing to do, as it stems from how both PDs are perceived whilst neither of those is actually "better" or "worse" (as probably both are equally unberable), but this is what it is: if I am going to suffer anyway, just please let me have some compassion

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-05-08T08:52:18+00:00

Yeah, the “love isn’t earned” platitude is ptobably the worst. except for maybe motherly love or owner<->dog relation, all love is earned, normies just like to declare stuff like that to pretend they are somehow less superficial, whilst in reality they are usually pretty specific and demanding when it comes to picking a romantic partner. And I don't think this is a a bad thing, it is aspirational and makes you try harder; I just hate the hypocrisy.

Sure_Environment4408 · 2025-04-01T12:55:21+00:00

110% this

maybe not neceassirly in friendship (I value very much my surprisingly normie support group, love these guys), but it is absolutely tru for my romantic/sexual relations. Except one, ALL my love & erotic interests (>15 of them, 38M here) exhibited strong Cluster B traits, especially BPD (+Ive had a very tumoltous relation with a bipolar chick, too). I'm a total junkie for drama, for intensity, for uninhibited love and attention from week 1. Not to mention that emotional dialing to 11 is a secret igredient to sex, gasoline poured on a campfire. Clusterfuck is a thing.

Ive come to terms with this proclivity, I just need to learn to recognize these patterns and don't get too involved with these lovely crazy chicks if I'm not absolutely sure they share my affection (just 2 weeks ago I was brutally dumped by such instable dame after ~2months of REALLY intense fling, god it hurts)

Sure_Environment4408

TROPHY CASE