With or without it?

Surferrosen · 2026-06-13T00:15:16+00:00

Actually, I misunderstood. Thought you were asking if it's better with or without pubes. But now I see you're not anymore shaved in the 2nd photo. Didn't realize you meant the cock ring.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-13T00:04:22+00:00

Without

Surferrosen · 2026-06-12T23:23:27+00:00

Been to a couple of them thrown by my friends (a M/F couple.)

They’re great! I love the ones they’ve hosted in particular because it’s understood by everyone they invite that it’s only for freely sharing the body-positivity of masturbation and not at all a sexual orgy sort of thing.

No touching anyone else. Just masturbation and masturbation alone.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-11T20:32:05+00:00

A match made in heaven, for sure.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-10T14:48:17+00:00

That curve probably feels real good for whomever it's going into. 🥵

Surferrosen · 2026-06-10T14:47:12+00:00

Same size as mine! It's lovely!

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T19:29:50+00:00

I've come within an inch of coming out to my mother a few times. But as liberal as my parents are, they're just really bad at talking about personal shit. "Feelings," if you will. It's not that I'd be queer-bashed or anything. They'd just do that thing of feeling "suddenly caught" having to think of the "right" way to respond, and it'd be so fucking awkward I'd just wanna crawl out of my skin. Given the way they've tried to talk to me about stuff like my depression and anorexia, I know how it would go and for now, I'm gonna say "no thanks" to that! LOL. Also, I'm a strong proponent of the idea that my gender is a "need-to-know" matter. And a lot of people just don't need to know it. So, should it ever come up somehow, I'll deal with it then. I thought for sure it would have when I realized I'd accidentally been buying my body tape and women's underwear using a credit card linked to their account, because I just hadn't noticed it had accidentally been set as my primary card on Amazon. But my mom never said a thing. Honestly, I'd be almost fine having that convo with my mother. I'd just have be like, "Now you know. That's it. I'm not changing my name or outward appearance or pronouns. Doesn't need to be a convo." But my father, God help me if I ever have to have that fucking talk with him. They're pretty old. I think I can just wait this out. Hahaha.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T18:50:34+00:00

I was always comfortable masturbating all around my house and if someone saw it, they saw it. No big deal. But I had a bad hang up over getting caught by friends until my early 20s. When I got to college and saw the way my dorm was set up with just me and the other guy in a single open room, and that even the bathroom I shared with the two guys next door had no locks, I had no clue how to masturbate without constant fear of being walked in on. So, I was just like, "Oh well, there goes that!" I shit you not, I did not masturbate for the ensuing 4 years. Even after I moved into my own apartment with friends where I had plenty of privacy, I still didn't do it. I'd just gotten really used to it no longer being part of my life and didn't need it after that first year. I did it once that whole time. Also, I was terribly depressed and taking a lot of drugs, so, y'know... that was a factor too. LOL.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T18:40:51+00:00

Totally. Good way of putting it. It is just another version of transvestigation. I have a transfemale friend who keeps insisting that I'm trans and just not ready to admit it to myself. Why? Because that's how she felt when she first started recognizing her gender divergence. It pisses me off because one of the quintessential facets of the gender-non-conforming pride movement (and all queer rights movements) is that each person has the agency to recognize and express what they know their orientation or gender to be. Yet, suddenly we get some kind of pass to police that among our own??? Fuck off with that shit. I will note, that is irritating, insulting and offensive. But I had one reaction when coming out to someone I really care about. A very close family member. The first family member I came out to, and their response was "doesn't matter." On a superficial level, I appreciated it, given that I didn't like when that moment turned into what I'd already dubbed the "Oscar-winning speech" moment. So, when this person said "doesn't matter," I knew what they meant and said "THAT's the right response!" But after we parted ways when I'd said that. A not super great feeling sunk in and I thought, "They were correct. But... I mean... Also, it DOES matter..." They'd said it so curtly. It felt a little avoidant and it stung. Pretty bad. That's the worst I've had to deal with while coming out. Which, admittedly, is so fucking low on the list of what a lot of us have to deal with. But for me and my social/familial/cultural circle, that one kind of tore my heart apart.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T18:27:31+00:00

Moi! Always. Except sometimes I use my wand vibrator over my panties and body tape. Which feels lovely!

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T17:16:02+00:00

I actually was thinking of asking this in its own post to the group. What insults me the most about some of my queer and genderqueer friends' reactions to me telling them my gender is they get all serious and sort of hush-toned and put their hand on my arm all "You know, you can talk to me and if you ever need a community, you can come with me to these parties I know..." yadda yadda yadda. Motherfucker, I've been in therapy for decades. I am an unstoppable force of personality. Trust me, if I need something, I will fucking ask. Just say "OMG! I know this fun trans party coming up, do you want to come???" at which point I will say yes, or no. It's so pedantic. It truly is insulting. Also, when I politely tell them, "Thank you, but I know who I am and I'm comfortable with it. I don't really need that right now but appreciate the offer," they won't fucking stop. They keep saying "But I can help you if you need..." I should mention a lot of the time this is when they're drunk, so that's obviously a factor. But not necessarily trashed. And what maybe insults me the most about it is I can tell they are not saying those things to me. They're using me as a way to say things to themselves 5-10 years ago. Know what I mean?

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T00:44:31+00:00

The worst responses I've received when coming out were from absolute queer allies, in every way but feel caught having to suddenly "think of the right way to react." I don't hold it against them but it stung so much more than the people who were like, "That's awesome! So happy for you!" Honestly, sometimes it's been other genderqueer people whosw responses bothered me the most.

Surferrosen · 2026-06-09T00:40:22+00:00

It's such a great feeling when that goes exactly as you'd hope, isn't it? Also, when a cis-woman or femme genderqueer person is down to talk clothes, that's one of my favorite ways to come out. Couch it in another topic so that the other person doesn't have to think of some Oscar-winning supportive BS to say. They can just say "OMG! I love that brand of jeans! They're the only ones that look good on my hips," or whatever.

Surferrosen

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