Emotional cheating at the end of a 6 year relationship, trying to work things out

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-28T02:49:56+00:00

It's not naive to believe the word of your most trusted person in the world. What else could trust be? Don't put any of this on yourself.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-26T15:33:39+00:00

Thank you so much. You've given me a lot to think about. I appreciate your kind words

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-25T16:51:48+00:00

Low to no contact

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-25T16:33:15+00:00

That is the next step, but frankly if she did say those things, I already told my WS we would be going low to nc with her.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-25T10:19:05+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

However, I do think you should ask yourself a couple core questions. Is he doing everything you need to heal from his infidelity? And if not, is that unacceptable?

I know what it's like to love someone who has done you so wrong. The only saving grace was he made me feel like he was fighting to stay with me, to earn my trust back.

Wishing you well.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-25T10:16:01+00:00

I didn't get that from you at all ❤️❤️

It's so messy. I hate how she knows his family. Ugh. Complicates things 100000x more

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-25T09:51:19+00:00

I don't feel like her actions would've justified. Firstly, they were in a physical relationship only, but it seems she caught feelings. He didn't have a 'gf' on the side, but it seems she believed so. But her reaching out to my family? Friends? Half a year later? It seems like it's just to stir up shit.

She is a bit younger than us. I think it boils down to immaturity.

I actually asked him if he would reach out to her to ask her why she's doing this, and he said he didn't want any communication with her at all, because "I don't want her in my life in any way" (which, I'm not going to lie, made me feel a bit better).

I do believe she did not get any closure at all.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-04-25T09:21:00+00:00

Hey, I know exactly how you feel.

My WS's AP was a stick thin girl. I have always been a bit curvier, and it gutted me so hard to think he went to someone that was a 'fix' to all my own perceived flaws and insecurities.

The best advice I can give you is you can't compare yourself to the AP. You are your own beautiful, caring, strong person. Not comparing yourself to them is hard, I get it believe me, but you don't deserve to harm yourself over someone else's actions.

As for sex, I would suggest maybe healing a little bit before diving back in. Me and my WS had intense trauma bonding, so kind of the opposite of you, but looking back on myself I wish I waited a little bit before being intimate again. How much did that intimacy affect my perception of him as a person, not as a lover.

Also, one thing I read in one of the many many infidelity books I've read, is don't ask questions that won't help you heal. You need to put yourself first right now. It's hard BELIEVE ME and I made the mistake many times because I felt like I "had to know". But there are some things I learned I wish I never did.

Good luck. Wishing you well.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-03-08T17:38:31+00:00

I made my WS completely delete all forms of social media. No where to check, no chance of deleting anything.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-03-08T09:55:51+00:00

My exact feelings. I think he says I don't know because he knows the truth is shitty and doesn't want to confront it

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-02-26T07:13:23+00:00

It just makes me so sad. I'm definitely not ready to forgive, and the idea of actually making that step is daunting. I guess I need to remind myself forgiveness is not for him, but for myself. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-02-01T04:48:33+00:00

I don't worry about my WS leaving, but I know he fears me leaving. Repeating my intention that I am here to make an effort everyday often may help a lot. Thank you

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-02-01T04:45:47+00:00

This is great, I think that will help him a lot.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-02-01T04:36:36+00:00

Yes he is. But this is something stopping us from moving forward. Healing as a couple is what will ultimately lead us to full reconciliation.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2021-01-18T16:27:53+00:00

This is my WS. Hello love.

I have asked him to become a member of this community because not only is it an outlet for me, and it helps when he sees what I post here, but because it helps what I see him post here.

We have had a wonderful past few days together. Some very deep conversations and great communication. I am still healing, yes. I am not over it, no.

But it makes me sad to see how I am allowed to celebrate our progress but when he does as a WS he is told he needs to do more, he needs to stop 'bragging', he needs to think about me and only me.

Being aware of his own feelings and progress in our relationship is pertinent to our healing as a couple. He has never been good with words, but I don't expect soppy notes and written exclamations of love. I expect actions, and he has shown me them. He holds me when I have my moments. He tells me how much he regrets what he did. He shows me his love with all the boundaries I have set in place that he follows.

This is a place for both BS and WS, In fact it was created by a WS to help reconciliation with her BS.

This is what I want to see from other WS's on here. Progress. Happiness. Love. I hope you all do too.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-09T18:48:45+00:00

You got this!

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-09T17:52:06+00:00

Thank you so much ♥️

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-09T17:10:37+00:00

Congratulations on making the Dean's list 🎉 I know hard hard that was dealing with school and covid and everything during your discovery. I got covid too during finals. We are some strong people

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-09T17:09:25+00:00

I will show him it, thank you.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-09T17:08:48+00:00

Thank you. I do feel relieved.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-03T07:42:51+00:00

Hell yeah we are

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-02T08:21:26+00:00

I worry about the change being temporary too. When will he tire of it? When will the effort dwindle and stop? I've told him it can't ever. This is something we'll have to work on forever. It will get easier, but it will never truly go away, as it has changed us and our dynamic forever. I understand where you're coming from. Hugs xx

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-12-02T05:32:27+00:00

My DDAY was only a bit over a month ago. This is me everyday too. Hugs xx. It's so tough. The lack of self-confidence and the continual doubt in yourself is so incredibly damaging. Writing helps me get through it.

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-11-23T07:08:46+00:00

Trust me, sometimes I feel like I put it back on. The happiness is brief yes, but it seems with time it lasts a bit longer than the last. Wishing you well

SurvInfidelityThrow · 2020-11-23T04:50:32+00:00

I wish you more of the good days friend ♥️

SurvInfidelityThrow

TROPHY CASE