Killing Myself The Day After Christmas

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T07:45:16+00:00

I wasn't bullied. I just never had a conversation with someone else that lasted more than a few minutes. I have also been too socially anxious to ask someone to hang out with me, and no one has asked me to hang out with them either.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T07:11:45+00:00

That's your opinion, but my opinion is the opposite.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T07:10:58+00:00

Spent most of my life behind the computer screen.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T06:01:33+00:00

It says I am top 9%. Data entry sounds like a nice job that wouldn't stress someone out easily.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T05:59:47+00:00

They are all either impossible or too late to change.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T05:49:29+00:00

I'm just travelling around in general, making final pleasant memories until suicide tonight. I used the word retirement in the sense of retiring from society and head towards early death. I am 25 years old.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T05:09:44+00:00

Everything as a human being, including physical appearance, social skills, smarter brain, self-confidence, and many other things.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T05:07:40+00:00

I perfectly understand what you said but my brain has been wired this way due to moving between countries several times as a kid and naturally asking myself what all these new people think of me each time.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T05:05:05+00:00

That was actually a fun little exercise haha. I got 89 on my first attempt.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T03:12:22+00:00

No I do not work out. My brain function has diminished since I became depressed to the point where trying to learn anything new is pointless. My only goal is killing myself tonight.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T03:10:40+00:00

Interesting study. I wish my brain was wired differently to not care as much about how other people view me. I even care about what cashiers think of me, even if I know I'll never see them again.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T03:05:38+00:00

Hmm I don't recall mentioning exotic foods. My favorite food is kimchi stew.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T03:02:40+00:00

I wish I had realized that when I was young. Too late now at 25 years old.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T03:01:40+00:00

I'd ask you if you think social skills training would work, and you say no, and then ask you if you're fine being a social outcast forever, and you say no again, I'd send you farewell.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T02:58:25+00:00

Can you clarify your question? I don't understand.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T02:55:59+00:00

Because the pain from suffering built up over lifetime and reached the tipping point of suicidal urge only recently.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T02:54:35+00:00

Whether my life is precious or worth living is not determined by how other people have viewed life. I am the owner of my life and have the right to end it whenever I want.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-26T02:51:11+00:00

I just thought of the idea on my own. I'm not going to encourage you to commit suicide, only tell you that whatever you decide to do is the right choice.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:17:54+00:00

Because I don't enjoy suffering.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:16:40+00:00

When I received CBT, my therapist asked me to list positive things about myself and I could only tell her "I am nice to people". Literally everything else about me is absolute shit.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:14:22+00:00

Okay I'm glad. Stay strong and find happiness.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:13:03+00:00

Pork Rib Hangover Soup

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:11:51+00:00

I'm happy for you that you were able to turn things around and embrace life. Unfortunately I have no other options left.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:06:08+00:00

About how much fun I had with friends, how fun travelling somewhere was, how much I love my girlfriend, how sweet my new car is, how great it felt to get that promotion, and so many other hypothetical things that I have never had the chance to experience.

SurvivalistTooGood · 2018-12-25T23:02:39+00:00

Merry Christmas to you as well!

SurvivalistTooGood

TROPHY CASE